dummee

and finally, after a few more shitty sheyts, i finally lost my mood for anything.
im sure nobody likes to go through the bloody transition from having that jolly face to that fucked up fuckface...

i have been patient for the past few weeks, not minding the things happening to me. but today, in the middle of ..., i just totally lost it...
geez. i contribute something and suddenly, its like bein dumped in the stinking dustbin and like all my efforts are just bein walked over. ewww. ~_o



ive been a supportive member yet i feel invincible...
ive somehow felt that i was being...dominant towards opinions? but only because i felt that what was being said was unreasonable. im sure its not wrong to guide one another even if one is of a lower position? hmmm...and talk about "openness"...gee [rolls eyes]

ive been a good friend yet i feel neglected... :'(
iunno but i just feel this way. i guess because im used to being pampered much and when i see the attention that i used to receive has died down, thats where i feel down.



and despite being the carefree person that i am, i do get very affected still...and the thing i hate is investing my trust, care and openness to certain people i thought will treasure it but i always feel its just being thrown aside :( sigh. if i show the "heckcare" face, youll all think i dont care[heartless], if i show care and concern, you all dont acknowledge...like...WTF...
fine ar, i may as well just be like that all the way lar. the me-no-care attitude. nahbei.