the voice

gawsh!!!
my gruff voice! its back!!! by demand!
i lovvveeett!!!
talk to mee! talk to mee!!! limited edition!! while raspiness last!!!
hahaha! yay!!! i just love my gravelly voice!

they say: "its sexy!"
i say: "i know..."
they say: "you're hawtt"
i say: "i know!!!"


*winks*

~~~
its harmless to miss people...
dont be a wuss to know how they are doing...
well, hello friend, how are you doing? thanks for visiting...

"punk rock princess" ;)

spit it out!

~mon~
so yeah, ive apologized.
i definitely felt better after havin that tête-à-tête.
we both felt the whole thing was predictable because we somehow have read each others personality.
well, im glad.
to be actually given an accolade with a group of friends around, even knowing me for just a short period of time; a year to be a lil exact, is such a great honor. because it shows shes been very observant throughout. shes seen my naughtiness, cheekiness, laziness, probably almost all of me, shes even been disappointed in me, still, she still found me genial.
at least she knows now, i can be an arse but im still real; no veil.

one thing i know for sure, ive let myself down in joining that chinwag ive promised myself never to get involved in since i stepped into ITE.
but rest assured, this will never happen again.
thank you so much. ;)


~~~
thank you IC West fam for the greetings and concern.
sorry for not being able to make it today.

thank you kiki for comin yesterday.
sorry it was cancelled.

thanks ely, leilei and errbody else who really pampered me like a real baby even if i could still manage my condition; kept telling me what and what not to eat/drink, lol.
eh-eh, "manje baby" sangat. ;P i suddenly miss ECP-day!

gee, i love you guys. tahha.


~~~
ive been gobbing out phlegm for the past few days! mmm, yummy! haha
cattarrhy throat + rheumy nose! = yayyy!!! germs flying away...
=_o"

friend.

sigh.
i hate what happened...it was really de rigueur...
im not gonna repudiate i was a blunder too.
hell, i can be very frank but im not so catty to affront eventually.
coz id always think of myself being in their situation.

~~~
just few days ago, i was kinda cornered by a friend, when i was just being realistic. and suddenly i was called a something. lol. i wonder if it was meant or it was just blurted out in an oblivious state? whatever it was, i was never really close with this one to begin with. someone who thinks they know you inside out but they dont? there would be friends who would be very nasty to you, yet would still somehow be friendly...i dont know. W.E.M

~~~
although i said some fuck sheyts, i still felt bitter inside. and yeah, i guess im a fucker.
friends make mistakes. and true friends will still be there when others have walked out. im not gonna be an ass and leave people hanging. im at fault fo havin said dumb stuffs, but im not gonna be a coward to just leave it at that. i guess thats what id call a real biatch. real bitches wouldnt be a coward to apologize either, right?


~~~
so yeah, lets get our facts right befo we start a fight.

grab it

this year, i thought id just be havin the usual slack year as a senior. but really,
second years a bitch. haha. in both a good and a bad way.

since the starting of my second year, april 14, its the day i took my favorite past time [TV] out of my life...[so called] coz i thought id be damn bloody busy with studies.
but hell, external projects just keep comin in. i stepped down from my post so as to have time to focus on studies.
since i wanna gain experience on things i havent touched on befo, i decided to accept the project. then came another, and another, and another. lol
its like, when i wanted it so much befo, it wasnt given to me, now that i dont really want it, they all come consecutively.
though at one side, its a kool experience, coz if you dont do it now, when will you ever?

"if you had one shot, or one opportunity/ To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment/ Would you capture it or just let it slip?/ ...This opportunity comes once in a lifetime"

aint it true? lifes like that. if you let it slip, thinkin "oh hey, its okaye, im sure itll come again. theres always a next time" then geez, wait til you start havin backaches then see if youre still wanna do it...

well, ever since second year started, i barely had time for family. and myself. lol. no time for other things. i dawdle. and yea, i need time management coz were all given 24hours blahblahblah.

no time to squeeze in the people who wanna get to know you. it sucks. because you wouldnt wanna give the wrong impression of yourself as the stuck-up biatch and all that jazz. i keep telling people i cannot reply because im either too busy, or too many people smsing that it kinda makes me sick to even entertain them. but of course, i do have the heart to not not entertain them, right? so what i do, i give my email address. but since ive been given another pile of sheyt, i think i may have to take my internet leisure out of my life too. for now i think. and really just concentrate on the things im supposed to do. that gonna be damn tough la. but yeah, imma do that. so like, my communication with yall will decrease to just in-the-flesh-communication, and a little on the line-communication.

and geez, if you wanna get to know me and get my number, get it yourself uh, dont shyshy ask friend to get for you uh. chicken... =_=" tsk...

bury me in a tub of ice...

*pfufff*
sorry i just parped...gross!
and all that...from drinkin green tea! wahahahaha!

befo i sat down and thought about bloggin, i was actually pissed with the weather thats been fweakin buggin everyone; hot damn, and blued with mom and dads bein sick...sigh. it affects me that much to see em all enervated and drained yet gettin up to cook fo us and doin the chores. shux! well, im glad theyve both taken leave today to see doccy and reeeaaally rest their asses! its why theyre my hero and heroine; sick also still got strength to do their daily doings. dang...id be whinin if i was in their place. lol

so yarrr,
got nothing to post...
basically just to whine about the weather...over and over again. geee.
evi mawnin, just after bath and yet to dry myself; already perspiring shiooo...lwth.
room 1405, sauna...imagine youre already sweltering your arses out in an open space; what more bein cooped up in that room with the air-con under maintenance or should i say not even under maintenance without fan for almost 3hours? wan die ar!? luckily they got us a coupla fans like after the break. hah. but after awhile, the fan was of no use to me, damn.

okaye, my fingers wanna stfu edi... :X

wrong convo

fuck damn...
i dont know if what i did last night was right...
but i hope it wont...ugh..cheeze...
i dont even know the things i was sayin.
why the fuck did i have to do that man! shtoopid fuck.

ouh lalala.

~~~
i got no time fo people who dont make an effort.

~~~
damn, im jammin with younger lads. hah.

~~~
hot damn! arent you guys feelin the fweakin heat? shit huh...sigh.
global warmins a killer. people gettin sick cuzza the weather...sigh.
after dadda, now momma... :( i wancry edi!

clinic

back...lol.
my sunday was a lil fun.
"a lil" bacuz we werent complete :(
"fun" bacuz i got to enjoy my day with my brother :)


were supposed to attend sams baptism but arch and girlf came home late from gym so we just proceeded fo the reception.
dad was supposed to meet us there, but had to go home from work [on a sunday!!! -_-"] coz he was shivering sick...gee. poor dad :(
i didnt know in the east side there are lotssa Filo restos already. cool stuff.
although who the dang would wanna travel all the freakin way to the east just to get some taste of your Home food?
kitchen already i lazy to go...hah.


well anyways, reached Jologs resto early, so we stoned there; camslutting, sitting like its my own home [since its closed for the private function]
brendz and i were feelin hungry already and were just waiting fo em to come so we can dig in! we ended up diggin in the last. hah. yeah well...

then came one of the visitors who was a headturner coz of what she was wearing; short skirt and a tank top showing off more than just the cleavage @_@ haha. nobody can ever imagine shes a chemical engineer. totally unfit fo the occasion BUT fitted the place she was at. jologs=happy go lucky people speaking street lingo. or something like that. whatevahh...

fast foward...since we didnt get to bring cuzz out to escape, decided to chill.
went suntec, but shes been there so we just chilled at clarke quay.
roamed the whole place and then The Clinic bar caught our eyes, hah.
so something for a change.
cuzz didnt wanna drink somethin heavy so we just had beer. ugh, hate beer. -_-"
brendz and i dont like beer! coz beers a carbonated drink. hate it. makes me wanna puke.
i prefer hard drinks...so yeah. whaevahh

enjoyed it with arch. hes still someone i look up to in some things. :)


get well soon dadda. hope momma wont get your virus

weezy

heyhey.
its a saturday!
toooo many things happening, i dont even remember anything...

hmmm, since lifes been better and more colorful for me - somewhat...
i thought i should kinda write about the things happening, so when im limping already and i read back, i can laugh or cry my ass out...

last friday...
ecp, *bomb*.
yeap, the experience i went through with these people just made me become blither...
hahaha. and of course, knowing them better, made me feel closer to them, although theres one i should really elude.
i should thank thiru for comin; ive missed these times with you, dawg! hahaha...
thanks to errbodi; thiru, sisi, haikal, yani, firdaus, sol, eijal, redzal, izzdin, sharim for really takin carra me. i was treated like a baby. awww, how shweetz la!
apologies to shuzhen and yumei for keeping yall wait; and in the end kinda abandoning you gals. i thought youd mingle around but you didnt. i guess you can expect me to be beside yall the whole time, right? geeez. i felt fucked up guilty. but whatevah. lol. i still had fun alright. i hope next time itll be better? :)

saturday...
supposed to have a breakfast date with tasha, along with thiru. but she ditched me - again, hence the dubbed "ditch bitch". hahaha, and thiru said she and i are really friends, known for blah3...
so just went to rest at home.
i love my bruises by the way, haha. felt like younger days. weeee.

sunday...
Mother's Day! last minute plan...
initially: church then dinner at Marche's; so much for arch's blabbering about Heeren havin it when i told him dont have -_-" ass...
we ended up havin dinner at NYDC. twas a lil okaye. but the hundred+ bucks dinner, i should say wasnt worth it [even if i was satiated] hah.
mom enjoyed it because we went out as a family for the first time in a few years. hah. well, i love you momma.

monday...
after practice, supposed to go for dinner with em, but too tired. and since i thought i could get away, nuh-uh. i still got followed. sigh. really just lost my mood already. fuck.

tuesday...
nothing much i think? hah. forgot shia.

wednesday...
liveband meeting. hah, boi... -_-" geez, really.
sharin, apologies. hah. :X
got to have some chat with kiki, finally... haha. that ass.
ely came and both he and kiki were totally killin me la. that holes...
then practice with firdaus, finally.

thursday...
yay, no classes! for me. wehhh...
canteen, fire drill, practice.
off to balestier for the audition, twas okaye.
all was selected. geez.
new friend: shidy. haha

friday...
went to see doctor with kiki!
the waiting time was a killer; what to do...poor girl go to polyclinic only.
well, thats why i needed kiki.
nahbei, wait for one hour plus just to see doc for less than five minutes, haha.
so yeah, its fungus. wait two-three weeks see if cream works. blah3...
then can grow mushroom edi...
went to school for meeting.
while waiting for aida, jammed with kiki, sharin and friend.
after meeting, late lunch with aids at greenridge.
freakin man. creepy.

today...
supposed to go escape! but stupid archie cannot, nahhhhb....
well, i need the rest anyway, fuckin fagged like sheyt!



okaye, ill continue tomorrow. long sia!
lazy to upload pics. hah.
bye bitches, suckers, lovers, haters, fuckers, wehhh... :P

i love you momma!

ha berthday to youuuu...
ha berthday to youuuu...
ha berthday...
ha berthday...
ha berthday to youuuu...

happy 52nd birthday momma!


was at the balestier audition the whole day... geez!
all of us got in anyway...so much for calling it an "audition" *rolls eyes*
reached home all sticky and clammy...
and relatives; tita yolly, tito dino, tita belen, ate tess, were here fo a visit and celebrate moms birthday too...
after the dinner, mom and i karaoke-ed...lol

what i find cute about mom?
she writes whatever she sees with her head...lol
she looks at things in a sideview...[i got it from her]
she will clean everything over again even if youve cleaned it...lol
when she makes faces...very rare!!!
when she farts! *poot*poot*poot*poot*poot*poot* like that!
when she gets perky...[very rare too! cuz shes always serious]

I LOVE YOU mom!

~_o

sheyt...
im fucking blazed...i can fwuck anything/anywho that gets in my way...
weeeee!

real busy but ill find time to write...shigh...

tissue

i dont know...
her perception; because of that, she thinks hes calculating...
my perception; because of that, i think he just wants me to be responsible...
either way, i dont know whos right...
but i do know we have strong instincts about people.
so perhaps, shes partly right.
but im still gonna be neutral :)



~~~~
my weeks been pretty okaye yet fucked up...i dont usually blog about my daily life, but...there, just read! lol.

mon
S&W, went for cardio, and some lower torso training [i dunno the right term for that]
yes, im back on track. gonna have that fab bod! lol. i know my skins fugly. but shuup!
new project on communication skills...
dinner with izz, aids, dzal at ljs.
bumped into my younger-days-crush, hazwan. awwww, haha. "a guy in wonders..."

tue
normal lessons til 1230...
1230 onwards, took my blazer form elroy then headed to auditorium for rehearsal

wed
the real thing...was late as usual...
i got to be an emcee for the graduation...fewer lines than my co-emcee, winson[drama] but still fine.
coz im still an amateur...my first time lei. weeee.
but imma fucking catch up anyway...haha.
last minute changes; apparently, the scripts we had wasnt updated, fuck. but it was handled well, so, whatevahh..

after the event, loitered around the school; cafeteria, canteen, foyer, chatting with people i know. sabby, elroy and i chilled at the canteen and finally sabby left for her duty, and gladly, elly let me chilled at sc room. yay! new friend. haha. waited for five hours for dance practice to start -_-"

and finally, the moment where my day and days to come...just got fucked...;
after 2practices using my ipod, i lost it...right in that fucking room.
no suspicions...but still, sigh.
i really dont know what to fucking say.
YES, i freaking know my ipod is the old one; fourth generation click wheel.
but hell, its still that important to me man...
not only the ipod itself, nor the songs, but the files in it.
*ugh* seriously...
FUCK.

sigh....

thur
normal lessons, fun yet boring towards the end then fun again.
sorry leilei
supposedly a movie date with my thiru. but i thought itd be fun if i brought some friends for dinner instead.
thanks thiru for dinner. sabby, sisi, aida, izzy, wins - thanks for letting me pull yall.
as always, i was picked on; slow-eater, slow-reaction, haha. but nevertheless, they laughed at my dirty thoughts.
thanks faie for the nachos and popcorn :)

today
off to ecp for some fresh air with my ic fam.

spoiler...

first time in a long time have i felt this whacked - from really not doin much [i should say], that i had to be alert[still - even if i was that exhausted...] when walking [coz i may have collapsed anytime], holding on to the "grab poles", railings and leanin onto something just to make sure i didnt fall...
knees were just too weak and pretty wobbly plus the blurry vision - my body was just gonna give in anytime soon, seriously...


~~~
"tak-teng" [ah soong] gave a classwork that was fweakin dotdotdot...
but on a lighter note, he's becoming sarcastic [bitchy -_-] and less serious...
weeee...which is quite good, hahaha! coz that means weve successfully cracked his ice...wehhh..
~~~
pissed at someone who acted all superior to me like sheyt, like i had no right whatsoever to be a "something" to "emprunter" anything from them...geeeeeeeeeeeee. wha-evahh... ~_o
~~~
dance prac was a lil crazy, or so i thought...a really total waste of my energy and time...im sorry, but yeah.

~~~
ive always thought of one day seeing him again. [i havent for 3years...] and it was really nice to, again! weeee!!! i should say hes the only crush i regretted rejecting...heeheehee. but hes not as handsome as he was back then :(
but ouh well...at least we both had a mutual understanding regardin the future...weee, good enough. go hazwan!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^
come to think of it, this mornings sudden hop back to the gym caused my wiped-outness/wipe-outedness...whatever...whichever...

~~~
ok, im really fagged like that...
ugh! really ruined my day. fucking hell... been a friend, ask for help, got that instead. godai uh.

hotbod!

weeee...
im stoked...
this comin weeks a lil more occupied than the past few weeks...
awww, so no one can take jojo out :P

yay, ive reserved rv already!
hopefully in less than 10 years time, itll happen, and make sure he maintains or improves that bod...wahahaha, then yayyyy!

yay, im back to normal with kiki...and that dweebass knows how jiji hated him for the past few days/weeks... wehhhh.... ;S


ouhkaye, i gotsta finish my stupid fweakin dreamweaver sheyt...yeeeeelp meeee!

kiddie rollercoaster

i told you befo, how some things will remind you of someone...
well,
that scent was here again, after a year long.
the whiff that reminded me about the time my heart tingled with glee, broke down, healed, dealt with contentment and then happiness...to anger again.
it is something everyone would and wouldnt like to go through. but its definitely something i miss. not that i want to go through the same thing again though...

that scent i smelled when i woke up on monday just brought me back to where i was, how i was like a year ago. and how that scent gave me bloody mixed emotions i kinda hated yet liked...



i never forget, because i treasure...every thing, every one.
ive no more hatred, i just hurt still, when the memories [of it] visit my mind.
i dont hold grudges and i am even humble and wise enough to give in to people.
i wonder if any someone have this same thinking as i do.
i wonder if i am treasured by the ones who became part of my life...


ouh well, i do miss julian...
and it so happened that todays the date he entered my life...coincidence...
see, i never forget...because i treasure.
but dont fret, ive no plans/thoughts whatsoever for anything...