………………………
…………
……………………………
……………
………………bein’ castigated……?
i came back here knowin’ i had to sacrifice the life i used to live; leave the people i love, grew up with, and growin’ up with……
puttin’ those aside and letting optimism take over…
tellin’ myself that i’ll spend the summer back home every year…
i had so much hope and expectation that there is certainty it’ll happen…
until he had to smash the only fucking thing i have; the elation that i’ve been holding on to…
all was set and has been prepared for…
but he had to cut it off…
the moment i read the very disheartening response from our supposedly happy convo…
my chest tightened and tears didn’t just rolled down…i burst out crying…
do you know the feelin’ of goin’ to school, wonderin’ who really cares for you? who would chat you up, and would wanna go home with you because they wanna be your friend?
the feeling of them not talkin’ to you unless you talk to them?
and how much you would wanna go home just to live through the good times you had just for awhile?
and now that it’s not gonna happen…i don’t fucking see the fucking reason for
staying opti-fucking-mistic!
it’s all just pretense. i never gained anything from being optimistic…
i don’t have anyone here to open up to. everyone needs a friend to open up to and
i just need one…here.
the only people that care about me are not with me. who else can i run to when i need someone to talk to in person?
lonesomeness in this place has gotten me hospitalized and fallen sick many times.
i’m sorry i’m emotionally weak.
i just don’t wanna spend the summer being stuck here.
i’ve waited for a miracle to happen for years…nothin’s happened.
i don’t wanna hope and expect anymore. i’ve had it.
it’s all just crap.
but thank you baby and babe…i’d be thankful if you guys are right…
…………
……………………………
……………
………………bein’ castigated……?
i came back here knowin’ i had to sacrifice the life i used to live; leave the people i love, grew up with, and growin’ up with……
puttin’ those aside and letting optimism take over…
tellin’ myself that i’ll spend the summer back home every year…
i had so much hope and expectation that there is certainty it’ll happen…
until he had to smash the only fucking thing i have; the elation that i’ve been holding on to…
all was set and has been prepared for…
but he had to cut it off…
the moment i read the very disheartening response from our supposedly happy convo…
my chest tightened and tears didn’t just rolled down…i burst out crying…
do you know the feelin’ of goin’ to school, wonderin’ who really cares for you? who would chat you up, and would wanna go home with you because they wanna be your friend?
the feeling of them not talkin’ to you unless you talk to them?
and how much you would wanna go home just to live through the good times you had just for awhile?
and now that it’s not gonna happen…i don’t fucking see the fucking reason for
staying opti-fucking-mistic!
it’s all just pretense. i never gained anything from being optimistic…
i don’t have anyone here to open up to. everyone needs a friend to open up to and
i just need one…here.
the only people that care about me are not with me. who else can i run to when i need someone to talk to in person?
lonesomeness in this place has gotten me hospitalized and fallen sick many times.
i’m sorry i’m emotionally weak.
i just don’t wanna spend the summer being stuck here.
i’ve waited for a miracle to happen for years…nothin’s happened.
i don’t wanna hope and expect anymore. i’ve had it.
it’s all just crap.
but thank you baby and babe…i’d be thankful if you guys are right…
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