Hello.
Been awhile.
Yep.
Loadssa shit has happened.
Both uber jovial stints and fucked up moments.
‘troubled person’…
I don’t mind the opinion…
Well, maybe because I do not write blissful events anymore? That’s why when readers read, that’s what they infer.
Nor do I talk [at certain places] as much as I talk happy-crazy with certain people?
Lol.
We are still humans after all.
We abruptly judge things by what we see/hear/read.
But it’s never enough to know that person that way.
I just choose to segregate…
Not because I’m a recluse…
But because of my surroundings, I just need to keep my guard up…
Past mistakes are lessons taught to avert future recrudescence.
And as the day draws closer, I prepare for yet another environment-acclimatization…
I can somehow foresee some unsolicited mania.
I’m drained…with elucidations…
But with the snoopy behavior of human beings, they will – with perseverance – try to get you to say your bloody piece.
Well maybe this time, they can bend over backwards and break their ribs and backbones and burst their asses just to get me to speak up…and all I will ever do is give them an ever cu-eet mordant smirk that will drive them insane. ;)
Reason for me choosing not to respond is because I’ve been denunciated or when I reason out my rights, I will be criticized as an uncouth despite HOW politely I’ve responded.
I have been at my very best behavior; not replying anybody with impudence…
And I’m impressed at how I’ve managed my anger throughout these years – lessening the rage display…
But suppressing the pain and anger is more of a torture internally.
I guess I’m not surprised at how I look…
Almost every day; in and out of home, my ears and mind gets flooded by mockery that just makes me wanna flee just to spend time with myself.
But I care so much that my escape always gets trashed.
So when I decide to just coop up in my room, and emit the emotions I have, false allegations will be forced on.
As much as possible, I will swallow the pain inflicted on me.
I haven’t given up.
Can’t you see?
I haven’t quit.
Can’t you see?! The improvement throughout these fucking years?!
But…
It don’t matter anyway. It won’t ever matter until I meet people’s expectations.
Because you are all better than me.
I wonder if He [the only one who knows and sees it all] recognizes the progress?
Been awhile.
Yep.
Loadssa shit has happened.
Both uber jovial stints and fucked up moments.
‘troubled person’…
I don’t mind the opinion…
Well, maybe because I do not write blissful events anymore? That’s why when readers read, that’s what they infer.
Nor do I talk [at certain places] as much as I talk happy-crazy with certain people?
Lol.
We are still humans after all.
We abruptly judge things by what we see/hear/read.
But it’s never enough to know that person that way.
I just choose to segregate…
Not because I’m a recluse…
But because of my surroundings, I just need to keep my guard up…
Past mistakes are lessons taught to avert future recrudescence.
And as the day draws closer, I prepare for yet another environment-acclimatization…
I can somehow foresee some unsolicited mania.
I’m drained…with elucidations…
But with the snoopy behavior of human beings, they will – with perseverance – try to get you to say your bloody piece.
Well maybe this time, they can bend over backwards and break their ribs and backbones and burst their asses just to get me to speak up…and all I will ever do is give them an ever cu-eet mordant smirk that will drive them insane. ;)
Reason for me choosing not to respond is because I’ve been denunciated or when I reason out my rights, I will be criticized as an uncouth despite HOW politely I’ve responded.
I have been at my very best behavior; not replying anybody with impudence…
And I’m impressed at how I’ve managed my anger throughout these years – lessening the rage display…
But suppressing the pain and anger is more of a torture internally.
I guess I’m not surprised at how I look…
Almost every day; in and out of home, my ears and mind gets flooded by mockery that just makes me wanna flee just to spend time with myself.
But I care so much that my escape always gets trashed.
So when I decide to just coop up in my room, and emit the emotions I have, false allegations will be forced on.
As much as possible, I will swallow the pain inflicted on me.
I haven’t given up.
Can’t you see?
I haven’t quit.
Can’t you see?! The improvement throughout these fucking years?!
But…
It don’t matter anyway. It won’t ever matter until I meet people’s expectations.
Because you are all better than me.
I wonder if He [the only one who knows and sees it all] recognizes the progress?
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