my HARD FALL..i let cikgu down [III]

So yea..from primary 5 onwards..i kept floppin my Malay..
I guez I’m only good at beginnings..when you’re half way there…u give up..Halfway through..I gave up all my passions n hobbies..
Parties..sports..drawing..piano…swimming..
Of corz there’s a reason behind SOME of it..as to why I just gave up..It’d be pretty long to explain..but long story short..
Parties = grew outta it..started to hate goin out toooo
Sports =[gosh!] influenced by my new classmates who weren’t into PE!..so juz lost my stamina day by day from the day I stepped into this sec school!!
Drawing/sketching, piano = geez…lost interest..BUT REGRETTING..CUZ I WAN IT BACK! SO DAMN BADLY!
Swimming = dang!!! I was brought into the adult pool and I freaked out..almoz drowned..[had to cry in fronna my dad to let me quit!]

ANYHHHWAY! In sec 1..cikgu Roz told me to buck up..read malay books..newspapers..whatever sources to improve on my malay..& I NODDED..
Nex yr..sec2…sec 3…said the same thing..did the same thing..
But did I do what she said? NUH-UH! Not so.. Well..I did..I tried to read..but as I did, the words just became meaningless to me! meaning I couldn’t understand…
I felt like I was going blind..cuz I really duno what I was reading anymore..though I understood some of what was happening..

Then sec 4..mr Abdullah..I can’t say his teaching was boring..
But I guez I got used to cikgu’s teaching..stern..quiet..pressured..[hard u noe!]
And the people around me were always dozing off!
So of course..the tendency is that you’d be driven by it..not sayin I got myself into it..anyway..the room was right below..so really..the environment wasn’t at all that good! Oh well..

Now sec 5...back to cikgu’s teaching methods!
Happy yet..well..pressured!..haha! [liked it..but ye..]
It’s really not easy..I kept telling myself I wont let em down..
But I was still relaxed..like this school[students..not the teachers] has always been...lazy..procras-ers..laid back..geez..what a place..only a few are really determined not to get themselves get hooked by the fishing rod..
Though I know I cant blame this school…cuz I know every school I go to would be damn the same..maybe except for the top schools...