Speechless...or typeless? i don't know if this is right but i just need to.
Dad's eldest sis passed away yesterday, Fri the 13th. Coincidentally, at the airport this morning, the check-in row for Dad was also 13. *sigh*
Doctora Carmen. My bro's Godma. A Dentist. The eldest but only 48. Got two kids, JC 19 and Xtian 15. She had a stroke but that didn't let her down. She continued her profession and was still able to drive despite her tilted head. A strong woman. So strong, even i had an unforgettable experience with her during my home-trip. And now, it's very shocking to know that she's gone.
Just nine months ago, it was Ninong Emmanuel, a year younger than Dad, also a Dentist and my Godpa. Got 3 kids, Kath 22, Ian 19 and Charlene15. Charlene was a daddy's girl. So close to her Dad that she was probably the only one who took the longest time to move on. During my trip, i noticed that whenever they talked about Unc Manny, she'd try to avoid, keep quiet or walk away, trying to hold back her tears.
The feeling of losing someone is so much worse than just the thought of it. It hurts so much you wouldn't know how you're gonna pick yourself up again. You probably won't feel the pain as much as the person does because you aren't there. But when you've experienced it yourself, which you wish you wouldn't, only then will you know how much pain they have to go through. It's kinda what i'm feeling now.
No more Dentists in Dad's side. Kuya and I have lost a godparent each. Their spouses no more. and worst of all, their kids lost a parent. I am fucking scared because I have a long way to go and I don't wanna experience this. I don't even wanna think about it. But can't help it right? Often, i wonder how my cousins can handle this, i mean when i was there, they're like big kids already. Matured and all. If that was me, i'd probably be wasting my life away. i'm weak. But to think of it, it's just a thought. A thought of me being a weakling can be wrong. Just stay strong.
Doctora Carmen. My bro's Godma. A Dentist. The eldest but only 48. Got two kids, JC 19 and Xtian 15. She had a stroke but that didn't let her down. She continued her profession and was still able to drive despite her tilted head. A strong woman. So strong, even i had an unforgettable experience with her during my home-trip. And now, it's very shocking to know that she's gone.
Just nine months ago, it was Ninong Emmanuel, a year younger than Dad, also a Dentist and my Godpa. Got 3 kids, Kath 22, Ian 19 and Charlene15. Charlene was a daddy's girl. So close to her Dad that she was probably the only one who took the longest time to move on. During my trip, i noticed that whenever they talked about Unc Manny, she'd try to avoid, keep quiet or walk away, trying to hold back her tears.
The feeling of losing someone is so much worse than just the thought of it. It hurts so much you wouldn't know how you're gonna pick yourself up again. You probably won't feel the pain as much as the person does because you aren't there. But when you've experienced it yourself, which you wish you wouldn't, only then will you know how much pain they have to go through. It's kinda what i'm feeling now.
No more Dentists in Dad's side. Kuya and I have lost a godparent each. Their spouses no more. and worst of all, their kids lost a parent. I am fucking scared because I have a long way to go and I don't wanna experience this. I don't even wanna think about it. But can't help it right? Often, i wonder how my cousins can handle this, i mean when i was there, they're like big kids already. Matured and all. If that was me, i'd probably be wasting my life away. i'm weak. But to think of it, it's just a thought. A thought of me being a weakling can be wrong. Just stay strong.
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