not today

i dont know if you're just being protective or selfish! youre so one-sided you can never even try to look at the other side of the situation. cant you be more open minded?! youre so hard to have. just because youre used to seeing me like this doesnt mean ill stay like this forfuckingever. i thought at this stage, youd be able to understand already. youre never happy with the things i do. so what the fuck do you want me to do? you expect too much from me when you dont even give me enough. the least you can do is give me the things i ask for and i will be what you want me to be. but you cant do your part while you expect me to do mine. you think youre always right that youve never realised the many mistakes youve made in your decisions! no wonder. cmon man, this is reality; you can never prevent sheyts from happening. wake the fuck up and see that the more you protect me, the more im drifting. you think i wanted this? never. i didnt know that the more i made you see me like this, the more youd only want to. the only reason why i do things like that is because i know thats what youd want me to do because you can never have anyone else do things your way. thats why the smallest mistake i make, you get uptight. youre too perfect even when you see the things around you arent. you know you make mistakes and you just get a lil sorry bout em but when i make mistakes, you go haywire like one fucked up creature waiting to be shut up. and now, you talk to me like ive forgotten about it; like ive finally given in. what if i bring it up again tomorrow?! youll get madder?! cant you see youre making my life miserable? and you think im all right. dont blame me if things happen to me and i cant do anything because youre the only one who made me like this. i ask for little things and you get mad but you expect me to have them when i dont know how to even get them. i can never live up to your expectations. no wonder youre like that. and now youre making me like you too. and youre happy about it. you have no fucking idea what i would have become if i did things my way. but i know youre not threatened at all because you know i won't do that. shit whatever. enjoy yourself now doin this to me. this is the only thing i can do for now. it's okaye. im still enduring arent i? and youre still enjoying arent you? yeayea fuck you.