best friend

somehow, i still pine for the good ol times,
and at times, i still ask,
where did i go wrong, i lost a friend.
ill be frank, and if ever you ask me this,
ill still say,
i b-lame you for doin that.
but i still acknowledge you because you transformed me;
the way i look at friends arent alike as our times.
i never had another "best" because when i think what best really means,
i can never see anyone being that best enough for me;
where i could just let e-v-e-r-y single thing out;
even my deepest, darkest secret.
ive stopped believing i could still find a best friend,
bacoz you gave me that trepidation of being neglected and maybe even betrayed.
there are close friends - and ever since then,
that has already made me be gratified.
it is safer aint it?
not that i dont open up to em,
i do.
and i have confidants.
just not a best friend.
because i do not tell em every thing - like how id tell a best friend.
if i could clearly recall,
all these happened when we separated.
im not dwelling -
its just that whenever i think about our bubblegum younger times,
i cant help but to also dredge up what the fuck happened after that.
i doubt we can ever bring that back,
because perhaps weve both changed and its left a big gap.
but like i said,
youll still be a part of my life as youve always been,
bacoz youve taught me to be like this.
and i love you for that.
i just hope when our paths cross again in the near future,
we can be best friends again,
even for just that moment, with just that little brief hug.
and here ill tell you,
even if things are way too different for us both now,
i still love you like that.
ill always be here forever for you.