patience

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENNDY!

hmmm...again, it was brought up by mom after brunch.
it started with me sharin bout how my friend whos in MI and i are gonna somehow meet in uni around the same time; because hes graduatin on the end of 2009 while i, on april 2009. hes goin ns before uni while i, poly then uni. i then mentioned how ns was a somewhat disadvantage for guys. and suddenly she just blurted how careless i was wasting time and money [me being in ite that is]. that pissed me so i "defended" myself and told her that if i was literally really wasting time and money in this two years in ite, then what would become of me later? isnt that an "even more" waste than "it already is"? so she meant that me being in ite is a waste of time and money? so what about the knowledge im getting? the things im learning now? am i wasting my time doin all that? i really am making full use of my time and money in ite yknow. i admitted that yes, i became over confident in sec school and somehow my overconfidence brought me here in ite to teach me to keep my feet on the ground even if i do well at certain times. you see, mom always has high hopes for me. and just because she was used to me always doin well, rarely makin mistakes [in general], that it is so hard for her to accept that ive fallen. since pri school, she knew i could excel but i didnt because of my overconfidence. sometimes it makes me think if shes ashamed of me being in ite. sheesh. i know before, i told myself i will not step into ite because i know i could do better than going there but when i got here, it changed my views of ite. yea, all the secondary students and teachers and the whole singapore think that ite is that bad because of the people who are in it. i agree, i somewhat dreaded comin here because of peoples characters that we all mostly see in public. but there arent any of such here in dover and im grateful for that. i dont know about the other campuses but here in dover, the people i see arent the people i expected to be, because here, they have hopes of moving forward. now thats what gave me a chance to get up again. ite is not bad at all if thats what you people think.

well anyway, on the contrary, i do know what mom meant by wasting time and money. she is afraid that we may not be able to graduate from uni because they cannot promise that they will still have their jobs at that time. yes, we are permanent residents here and yes, they both have pretty good jobs but i know, we are still foreigners. meaning, they can still hire a local rather than keeping them because they prioritize their citizens. i know that. its what fears me too. and the thought of me working to save some money so i could somehow help them isnt in their favour because as much as possible, they dont want me to work while i study and if i work, theyd rather i be in office than serving people. geez. so really, what choice do i have? at this point i dont know. but well see when im done in ite. perhaps itll help me get a better job, i have no idea what kind but yea.

i know i wasted my time that i have to be demoted rather than promoted which really cost more but if support is what i get, then maybe itll help so much more. i know youre just concerned but you should really try to be more optimistically concerned.