take me out!

sup y'all?!
Fuck y'all!
*whoops*?! i am so habitually using that fucking word!! ouh fuck!

i have been eating my Fav foods so far. great!
started on Fri with Sting Ray then Sun with Pizza then yesterday with Donut then today with KFC'S crispy chicken and Donuts again; [which made me think of why it's become an "in" thing now in S'pore ~.~] i think tomorrow iiiis emmm, not sure lah. but maybe Thurs i'll have Sushi or Bagel...then Fri maybe Hokkien Mee or Prata or McFries or BK'S Turkey Bacon Burger or Shawarma or Taco Bell or Ceasar Salad or Mud Cake or i better stop this food-sheyt now?!

ouh! got something to tell you! i didn't get to take a crunch yesterday nor Sunday, and not even today. so yeah, pretty nasty farts today. it's never usually like that! lol. i better stop this now. it's probably grossing you out...hahaha! all the better actually! wakakaka. *adds* i hope i get to punch a dook later :P [okaye, enough!]

i haven't been drinkin coffee as much as i used to last year cuz the effect is really wild! lol. i forget so many things i have even forgotten my name sometimes. *nods* yup, really.

anyhoo, i miss Arch already...*random*

i kinda miss the phils. Mega Mall and Mall of Asia are my Favs. i miss roaming around Glorietta Mall; in and out of Aunt Tere's shop. i miss the tagalog convos i hear whereever i went. i miss commuting, sucking in all the smoke.
ouh! i miss the street foods; bbq and all. i miss Yellow Cab Pizza, Max's Resto, Aunt's place in Greenhills.
OUH i soooo miss Enchanted Kingdom and Star City! rides baby!!! *sigh* wonder when i can go back there again. :[ will you take me there? okaye?! set! *haiz* homesick siol!

five-week school break, nowhere to go. so boring. duwanna work, cannot go back to phils, no allowance [cuz i never like to ask for any] which means no gimmicks [unless at your expense] where you'll totally rather forget about hanging with me after reading those three words ;p
so what do i fucking do after all my scheduled plans have passed? *melancholy*
gee, and to think i was so looking forward to this break sheyt! now that i've actually thought about what i'm gonna do, i'd rather just go to school :[ fuck sial! lannnn-tern lah! eh yah, Lantern Festival coming right?! or is it Mooncake Festival? or both?! siala!

one more exam and freaking-boring-cuz-i-no-money [i always no money! haha] hols is here. hopeless daughter-of-a-not-bitch! i duwanna work...but eh!!! any of you all got any slots for work text me uh! i need dosh mann!

i've always wanted to try "food tasting" job but dunno whether got anot?! easy right?! eat eat eat oni. skali they let you taste shit you oso eat. what sia! *haiz...* if i really got nothing, then i guess i'm going back to being a couch potato ~__~ omg...what a life. some more i dunno many people who're celebrating birthdays this month. fuck sia. no parties :[
cannot hang with or even depend on Arch cuz he's laying out all his fucking pay on his fucking yet another $500 phone bill. OMG. i'm soooo pooor. *this is a total misery*

H-E-L-P leiiii....
boring uh!

"you can't always "not do" something just cuz you think it's wrong even if you wanna do it...

no one can stop you from how and what you feel...don't hold back...don't be afraid...say it..."

shit! i thirst for margarita right now...

randomness

sam: "hey,if u have a wish...wat would it be?"
me: "i wish to fulfill my parents' dream before i die BEFORE them"

it's so hard to keep up because so many things happen, even in a second!

i miss the good times...coming late for school, gett'n caught by papa Raj; sending me for detention then gett'n lectured by papa Hoe next for comin late ~_-, hiding from Helmet principal Ms Chan for my fucked up attire. i wanna be in that classroom, seated with bugger; drinkin nescafe and eating burger, lazing around, head always glued on the table [sleeping], fucking around with the teachers who still love us even if we were that notorious nut-case bunch, copying answers from those guai-guai friends, strolling around the corridor looking for trouble or just laughing at those freaks below who are just making a fool outta themselves, locking the teachers out so we can't have tests! being sent out by mrs beh for not doing her homework, annoying Malathi with my fucked up hair and tucked out shirt and short skirt and ankle socks, gettin caught by my ever favvy Papa Raj for never wearing school badge, sitting at those tables outside class doing our revision; which would later be channeled to chattin, listenin to ah chui's bad day with her other classes and how relieved she is to be finally in our class,

ouh shit i can go on and on and on on and on and on!

anyways, pardon my obscene lang for all my posts. i know you should be thinkin, "this girl uh, her blogskin all about God, so Holy and all, but see her language...all got 'fuck' 'fuck' one!" hahaha! weel, i grew up saying it! just never at home :)!

"don't be afraid to say you miss me just cuz you think it's wrong!"

i love you, my Lord, my God

what can be better than spending your day with your loved ones. in His Home. with your clan!
just wanna thank God for celebrating this delightful day with my dear folks and my beloved brother, Arch! there's no occasion but we are all thankful we have spent this entire day as a whole fam, because we hardly get a hold of Arch who's never home even when he gets the chance to and has never stayed home for even 24hours in a whole week [if you count the whole 7days]

it's a "miracle" we attended mass as a fam [it's been months ~_= ] and the feeling was terrific!

Holding Mom and Dad's hands in the cab; listening to their natterings about our future plans was something i missed!

Arch and i shared some zany stuffs that we wanna do. thing is, we both wanted to do the same things! lol! nifty!

after mass, Mom and Dad wanted to go home but i insisted on eating out since it's been ages since our last fam day out. since i was craving for something cheesy, i decided we just go for PizzaHut's Cheesy Bites Fondue since it's the only cheesiest food i could think of at that point...

[any place with cheesy food y'all can reco? and no pasta sheyt nor cheese cakes cuz they never satisfy me! i want a place! not just cheesy food!]

anyway, they agreed cuz they couldn't make up their minds...tsktsktsk...

Arch shared his yet another action-packed experience at Peninsula the other day when he fought with five mat-baju-fucking-ketat-siol guys. only two actually; the other three backed out after the other two got slammed. a security guard witnessed and called the police and let my brother and Brendz go since he saw that the mat-ketat-budaks-like-kental-only wanna look for trouble. wakakaka. whaddahell. my folks thinks that Arch has never been jailed for his fights. *sigh* if they only knew...how sad. you should really lie low lah brudder! as much as i enjoy seeing live actions, i'd rather see you chilling your ass off outside with B

than chillin your arse off in a cell with big gay boys, lol. you mofo you.

after dinner, Dad and Arch went to do some groceries for his outfield while Mom and i were shopping for her clothes. i took one basket of chocolates for myself since my fucking friends say i've thinned! even Arch said that! Mom and Dad as well; even teasing me about

the ex not lookin after me ~_=.

so FINE! i'm gonna FATTEN myself up and show you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and you! *hmpppffftttzzzz* lalala [rolls eyes]... dah lah kau...salakau...

okaye, i'd like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize [and i so fucking mean it!] for criticizing many many, numerous, loads of, countless people and maybe even non-living things! i know it's wrong but couldn't help it then. but but i've learned to control myself from lashing because i don't wanna get karma lah sia! no, but really. from now on, i will not do that. :)

and so, for God has forgiven us all, so shall thee forgive me!

goodnight and much love TO me FROM y'all.
feel free to text me and say you miss me cuz i know you do. lol!
we should really chill asap!
i'm oddly in high spirits and even the people i hate won't ruin my mood.

that's how weird i fuckin am. tahha.

"criticism is the cheapest form of boasting"

- Father Edmund Chong

talala

emmm, okaye, i don't know what's worse?
being open or being surreptious about that?

ever since i came clean about my ex-boyfriend to my folks, they've been inquisitively questionin me about it. *ugh* that is why i have never told em about my past relationships; not that any of em were serious; PUPPY LOVE! i initially even hesitated opening up about this latest failure [which i consider not serious too?!] from the start cuz i didn't want em to "interrogate" me with every single day that passed by; "what's the scoop? what's the scoop?!" ~_=

then i start to think, maybe they're just excited because they think that this is my "FIRST" ever to have a courtship and me being their baby girl, it is their "duty" and of course they being my folks, have the authority to do so. i so totally dig what they're doing but of course on my side, even if i dig em, i still hate it!

see, even if we live in a modern world now, and courtship-sheyt is sooo yesterday, i would be more thrilled than ever to go through it than to have it the modern way.

call me a conformist but old-school style is still the "artistic way" of winnin a girl's heart and what makes the girl's heart go

thump, clang, wham, chink, bang, ding-dong, rat-a-tat-a-tat! lol!

yep, for the past few years i've learnt and grown so much from all these sheyt that in the end, all those went down the drain when i got b-linded. tahha!

at least i learned my lesson...

well, not the end of the world, many more fishes to catch!

i want a clownfish; Nemo or a dolphin!

anyway, Hi!

the undisputed unifed 5/1

hey hey!
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY day day day day...
lol! i ditched Dover's celebration to go to CDSS's...
my dear kambing overslept! but i was still the last one to arrive at the bustop...*diao*
first person i saw was [my first HS bf for 6days!],jonathan. then i spotted Nafeesah and Aishah[putih]...dayyyym i miss Naf! she's grown bigger! so cute...like bear liddat! haha! kiddin'...
the fucking new principal didn't wanna let us in to the hall; no colored/highlighted hair and slippers =_-" well, us being the "undisputed defiant batch in the history of CDSS", sneaked our way in, while some stayed in the canteen waiting patiently, and the others went to complain. the security guard oso like fuck liddat! act so big but actually like one small f-ly liddat! knnbclj! cikgu Roz and papa Hoe tried to save us...but to no avail. coupla minutes later, they allowed those in proper [although not totally proper] attire in. but in the end, those "rejected" 'uns also got in... wtf?! they so wasted their time lah; averting us...like we even care 'bout your order-sheyt liddat. *waleooo*
the concert was okaye. i had crazy fun; screamin our asses off while almost everyone was lookin up and finding who the fuck was makin the shrieks. [me, Dee and Nunu the most] too bad Sab wasn't there! i was dissin' someone related...emmm, hiiiii...hahaha. wtf!
after concert, i got to chat with Elaine and Nissiel. *sigh* sad lah, people change...instead of filos gett'n together, they backstab one another...wtf! oh well, sheyt happ'ns...you'll be okaye my friend!
emmm, we went to meet papa Raj, the first teacher we snapped with, followed by cikgu Roz then Ah Chui. met and greeted papa Hoe, Mdm Fatimah, Liang, Terrence, Beh, Viswa [the penguin] and Roy...the longest chat was with ah Chui...we even squeezed some gossip in our convo about Malathi! the never-ending-not-only-naggy-but-squeaky-no-wonder-still-a-single teacher in school! OMFFG!? *whoops!?*

Sab, Nunu, Dee, Nurdin and I lunched and chilled at Causeway Point. on our way down, Sab's shoelaces got stuck on the escalator so the people behind were like panickin [or some sort]. there was this fucked up lady [with her small kids], dumb enough to even forget her fucking manners and was so self-centered, being inconsiderate and all; just kept bellowing "fasteeeerrrr, fasterrr" all because she was afraid to fall! omfg! like hello? my friend's already stuck and all you cared about is you falling down and gett'n stepped on?! wtf! i was behind sabby so i too was struggling to get out but i was struggling more on helping her and making sure she doesn't fall. call yourself a mother! motherfucker...i yelled back at her and thennnn back to normal...haha..lanjiao..we chilled outside CP, enjoying the breeze and doin some catching up and talking.

Thanks to Abang Nurdin for the company back. Gentleman abang.

BBQ! at yeelyn/yeewon's place...
before heading to the bbq, had to do something i've been longing to do few weeks ago. =_-"
fast forward>> while waiting for Sab n Nunu at Gombak station, i tought i saw Thiru! true enough when we reached, Thiru was there! yey!!! he so totally felt guilty after whining at him the night before. haha! i knew he wouldn't let me down! i'm ecstatic! YiJuan turned up too! *sian* thought u sick then no need see your face liao! lol...jk!
i was so stoked just seeing everyone! sad didn't get to really bond with the rest cuz we were just so caught up with our own cliques. how

sad :[ but still glad :]...Nunu's BBRRREEAAASSST! was the talk of the girls, at least most of us. [all started with ah chui noticing it] Nunu's gone fatTER...*whoops?* and i've shrank thinNER. [anorexic YOUR fucking asses!] well, at least thank you to Ping Sian for saying i look sexy...haha! at least she never say anorexic lorrr...haha! wtf! i don't like to throw away my food just for the figure. like how stupid. i eat small portions though [for those who were asking how i kept my fig] lol. klah i'll stop! don't roll eyes redi lah. later drop!
i got to eat 3 chicken wings, 3 hotdogs, 3 fishballs, 2crabsticks and some snacks. slow cook lah! but at least it was better than last year's! Jie Ying was really very nice to cook for us and send food to us even. i love her! the guys then wanted to play soccer but the gals wanted Cap's Ball so being the UNITED class, 5/1 '06, they all decided to play CB [*wapiak!* Cap's Ball lah! not CiBai hor!] *class spirit y'all* but like fuck lah! guys against gals. obviously the guys won lah! gong!

but danng! mem'ries! good times...
let me rap this up with
= a big THANK YOU to y'all! for organizing this.
= HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM LIN FENG aka WICKED AURA...
= great seeing ah Chui the ah lian teacher/friend again.

[she's cute when she's stout.]
= glad to have met Ros and Nunu and the rest again.
= thank you to GLENN and SHYUKUR for the wonderful BIG presents...

i like the vibrating spongebob pillow and the BIG mug [perfect for a small ger]!
= i love 5/1 to bits!
more to come bebeh!!!

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY

*phew*

--edits--
just as today's about to end, dad had to push it!
i don't know why he makes such a big deal out of me sleeping in the late afternooon/early evenin. im fagged and you know i'm used to sleeping late! omffg! like im still his baby! wait~ i AM still his baby! hehe! well, i napped in their room cuz mine's in a total freakin mess! [dunav to go further;

it's undaztood-ed redi! -_-"]. Mommzy was wakin me up for dinner but i was too sleepy to get my tush up...til dad came in to change and found me still snoozing..so Dad just had to carp at me! *ugh!* even over dinner...*sheesh* so i was quiet throughout...til five minutes later, he tickled me...and then we're okaye again! [he can never bear being mad at me for long] lol. *that's our sulkiness...* but but! after we watched our teleseryes, he had to annoy me again!, with "how are you and..." then "joan, look at your names..." then mom came to the rescue! "enough already lah, it's already over and you still have to bring it up..."

~~
tomorrow's Teacher's Day...i'm ditchin Dover's celebration and go back to CDSS to meet 5/1 fam. weeee! wait~ darling Sab's gonna be sad i left her...awwww! if not fer that SC! you'd be with me and the rest! *ugh*
the upshot of NAFA's here! daaaym! bodyaches...OMG! puhleeeze! i duwanna go back CDSS walking like one old woman but but but...i'm really feeling the pain larrr.
--edits--

after all the sleepless nights and the stress that came with it, i'm finally able to have a break...at least for awhile...
one exam, three tests down, one to go! go Jojo!!! jia you!!!

i'm soooo fagged! MME test yesterday, hahaha, chicken feet, small fly, i close one eye siol! haha, confident sangat la i...okaye per! chiiii...cken! that debarment sheyt was just to scare us sia!

in the end, we all can take the test. nahhhhbeh! good thing i forged, if not, i kena nag! siala!

i slept at 1800, woke up at 0000, slept at 0300 and finally roused at 0600...
NAFA was okaye...at least i think i managed to hit the passing grade uh, i think i'll pass...lol... *confident*
many many much much THANKS to Dave!!! for being blurrrr...instead of running SEVEN fuckin rounds for our 2.4km, i only ran SIX! so that saved me alot! if not i think i fail redi sia! walaoweeiii...i ran with my ipod to keep me focused [like in my own world, ye know...] but i actually just didn't wanna hear the cheers [and jeers?] hahaha.
then i finished running, Sisi told Xin Long i like kewl liddat run/walk with ipod oni...wakakaka...
could've done better, but due to me being too lazy to be lazy...i got the following results: [ ] = passing

situps > 32 [26]
SBJ > 160? cm [?]
inclined pullups > 22 [22]
sit&reach > 36cm [?]
shuttle run > 11.6 sec [13+]
2.4km > 15.48 mins [16.30min]

message to my darling YiJuan, get well and all the best for your NAFA [if you still have to do it?! skali exempted liao lei! HOPE NOT... :P]

anyway, *THIS JUST IN!!!!*
i got a new crush! hahaha! i dunno what class uh! actually i dun care oso! haha. i saw him in the hall doin NAFA oso. lalala. joanne, joanne. tsktsktsk. lerrrr, at least i oni until liddat right!? not until i do something like one minah liddat! fuck sia! that wan all very despo la. i oni see see, never do do. u know u know?! u dunno u shaddap! im so sure you all also liddat! wakakaka.

just now the SC were rehearsing for tomorrow's Teacher's Day event. Wahh, all the minahs dance dance sia. lol. okaye lah, but typical minahs...! hahaha. tsktsktsk. ouh well, we can never avoid such things. whereever the hell you go in singapore will find their kind one lah! i like their music and dance steps only...not their dance and the way they gelek. wakakaka. i'm sooo just kidding...NOT... *bleah* but they are good people anyway. they're only labeled as minahs even if they aren't cuz of how they dress...hahaha. whathefuck right?! i know. haha. i think they purposely lah! so people scared of them. lol. no offense to anyone hor! just my thoughts. haha. my blog anyway...right?! you no like, get the fuck off lah! hahaha.

i sound like i'm looking for trouble redi. skali i go school, all the minahs come after me sia! wakakaka. but too bad, Dover no minahs uh...good! i loooiiike. wahh, liddat then skali i go out of my house all the minahs from dunno where come find me. lol. kla...i can face their fucked up faces. lol. whatthehell.

i got to chit chat wet wet with sabby today! haha!

im sooo singlish today. teehee!

thank you

Thank you

The past few days, I’ve been struggling to think positively about this failed relationship. But today, I finally have agreed and realized that I should be thankful for so many things that have happened in this whole period of time with you.

I admit I have been blinded by love so much so that I’ve neglected so many things; so many people, especially. Before, I was reluctant to share my happiness as well as sadness [BGR] with people; particularly, friends. I was never open about such things because I didn’t trust people enough and I thought they weren’t worth my trust. Watching my friends go through so many failed relationships, and all I did was shook my head and call ‘em idiots. Because they were dumb enough to give in to their partners, not knowing that they were only harming themselves; although they already knew, they still did it anyway. They’d ask for advices but would disregard ‘em. That was the reason why I’ve always hated and avoided such convos with my girl friends. What’s the use of askin for advices when you ignore ’em and would be dumb enough to repeat the same fucking mistake!? Stupid right!? And then I told myself, “I would never put myself into that situation! Ever!”

Well, who the fuck was I to utter such things? Where am I right now?! What did I just go through? Didn’t I just go through [if not the same,] similar situation? I am taking this opportunity to ask for forgiveness to those people I’ve criticized. People tend to be judgmental so I’m only human…

I thank you because you made me experienced this. You made me experience the pain that my friends went through; the pain I thought I’d never go through. I realized now that it’s NOT enough to just imagine or try to be in somebody’s shoes. You have to experience it; only then can you prove to people you’re what or who you say you are and what you will and won’t do. “Actions speak louder than Words”…
I thank you for making me realize that what I thought I would not do, I can and will do. I’ve neglected my friends, close friends, parents, studies and most importantly; my principles and God. The whole time I was with him, I actually got tempted to do [things I promised never to do] as well as forget many things; things that have been my pillars of strength and personality. I couldn’t believe that I could turn away from them all just for someone who isn’t worthy. Hypocrisy is what I’ll call myself. A letdown to myself, my surroundings; family, friends and most especially, God. [I keep repeating myself! Hahaha]

You see, you may be going “Why the hell is Joanne writing such post?! So mawkish. Like as if this is the biggest hardship she’s been through…”
Well, I was never open to people, a restricted person I‘ve been. I didn’t want to show my weaknesses, I guess. But after High School, I’ve grown a little and I’ve learned to open up more. I write it down if not verbally. [Don’t go further if you it doesn’t interest you…]

Over the past few years, I’ve been in many relationships all of which no seriousness were involved. Why? Peer pressure I’d say. Seeing friends having “many boyfriends, so I also must have lah!”…yea, I was like that. Til Sec3, where I matured so much that all those stopped. I thought, “that isn’t my life, that isn’t me…I don‘t have to follow people just to say I’m in!” In fact, having many boifs was never an “in” thing…purely just to show off how “in demand/pretty” you are with boys…whatever?! Hahaha, how dumb… If you lived here, you’d understand what I mean…

Anyway, to calculate since Sec3, 2004, this is the third person I can say I really fell for[really liked, not love]. But this is the only person that made me go beyond my control. It may have not been that extreme for that person, but to compare, it is. I now understand why I have a friend who always talks about the same topic over and over again. I feel you now. I apologize I was insensible before.

Thank you because without this lesson, I wouldn’t have learned the importance of love and always having God in you. I wouldn’t have realized my mistakes too. I wouldn’t have realized that it is not always love. I wouldn’t have realized that it is NEVER love; [not at this age, not for me at least.] Really, it’s just attraction, attraction with feelings. To those who are “loving” now, you don’t have to agree/disagree with me. I’m not asking for opinions but if you want to, go ahead. But do Respect mine as I will respect yours.
I have to love myself again, before I can love someone else.

Having been with many different boys, I’ve seen many different types of guys, many are the same, and only a few stand out. Not that those really count because they were of puppy love but still, you can somehow observe things. To think of it all, I’ve never been in a serious relationship til my last two[i forgot who, lol]. Yet this is the worst.

Hate me, love me, but all I can say is you have underestimated me, in the kind of person I am.

lets get DOWN and derrtehh

sup sup oiiii
teehee!

"you today so happy?"
i was pretty loud today. it wasn't the maximum level yet and already they are telling me i'm hyper...teehee. no freakin idea why! but it just comes. emmm, it's either the environment, or the mood, or the whateverr?

anyway, glad to have made 'em laugh. class is really gett'n boring without jokes around. if there are, [which mostly comes from Es], they'd be lame ~_~" ...
"...and it has been declared, CLASS is HUMDRUM without Joanne!..."
hahha. okaye, i'm being conceited! well, it's how you'd remember me...bring it to your grave yah?! okaye! great!

~~
some funny, waggish, sidesplitting, jaw-locking, muscle-cramping, eye-tearing,

non-stop-hits-of-laughter-thing happened today! hahahahahhahaha! fuck! i couldn't stop, and still can't stop, and probably won't stop laughing!!!
*JOANNE! BEHAAAAAVE* *ahem!*
okaye, got ahold of myself already.
well, my very friendly, unintentionally-comical friend did a stunt that i think no one else could have ever done or would ever wanna do [the person didn't want to, anyway]

*whoops, something just came outta my nose while laugh-typing this, ewww!*

while waiting outside to be let inside the auditorium, we saw a round couch. so i raced for it with friend A, not knowing that the person won't just take a seat.
sooo friend A jumps or rather, dives for the couch and lands nicely. friend B sees friend A and decides to land on friend A. friend B dives for friend A and lands nicely too, EXCEPT that friend A turned [to stand up i guess]...

soooo friend B's destination didn't end on friend A...but...

took a detour and ended on the floor...HARD!

see, this friend of mine never intends to really be funny

but somehow turns out to be one.

The stupid thing is that i didn't help that person out. *uuuggghhh*! i soo hate myself!

anyways, i'm just thankful to have this person around, because we have

gotten closer, [if not for you, me]...through thick and thins, we've been together!

not so lah, but can say lah horrr...lol. this person never fails to make me laugh even with the slightest thing. my sense is humour uh...tsktsktsk...

anyway, i'm serious when i said i'm thankful i've gotten closer to you ;)

always out to help people! i looooiiike!

well, you'll be fine from that fall you had. be careful okaye?! and i will be there the next time, and not just stand/sit there being all unfriendly...
~~

i had Aye Thi whoops i mean 80 for my CMO test :)
pending to take MME [the module that i inadvertently, but Nelson deiberately vetoed me from!] and CMO exam. *gee whiz*

**Nobody can make me INFERIOR without MY consent**
nga loe ma!

oi

hey hey!

okaye, some of you are wondering whose blog was i talking about

[that i recently have subscribed to]...well, it's kaye's...yea...i remember when i first met her. she was so friendly and all smiles and all...hung out a few times. but with one misunderstanding, things didn't go well. lol. so yeap! but she's a good writer i tell you. hi kaye!

lalala. coincidentally, glenn is back! hahaha, MIA larr. ye know, just when things hasn't been goin well, here he comes. but whatever glenny. you still suck! haha! no excuses. and and he doesn't even know that TJR's been hospitalised! and i thought he only stopped communicating with me! until he found out about TJR. lol. if he hadn't read YJ's blog...*sheesh*

oh yes, and i'll see you on friday for Teacher's Day and 5/1 BBQ!

and my GIFT!!!

anyways, belated happy birthday Brendz! [24/08/07]

tsktsktsk

Hey hey!
friday...
Emm, i left home at 8 when my class was supposed to start at 830. lol
gladly, Ms Jo was caught in a jam and would meet us at 9...like gee?! our next lesson starts at 930! well anyways, she cancelled it too so yeap! great?! *sigh*

out of all the lessons we were supposed to have with her, we can like count the number of times she turned up ~_~ [poor-est attendance, tsktsktsk] we all still like her nevertheless.

played baminton with Aye Thee? [i duno how to spell her name], then Sze Min and Ting Long later joined...lalala. then went to chill with the guys at the gym. YJ, Pearlyn and I were also workin out,

though YJ and i were disturbing the guys more, haha.

i got to play xbox!!! mann, 's been ages! great! then watched movie, then tv. then compueter.

so yeah, my eyes can never live without facing the monitor...tsktsktsk. if not the comp, it's the TV.

hahh! but ouh well, good things do come out of it anyway, hehe. what uh? i also dunno...lol, what only!

vision

test...today...siala!!! easy siaaaa!!! i "open-book"! *cheater* as always! lol...
nola...i did my homework okaye! so you jealous people out there, GODAI!

ahakz...did i mention i got 86.3% for cisco test on monday? okaye, i just did =p
it's not that high but yea yea, whatever...lol


~~
hmmm, i don't know...it's pretty daunting...when you have some kind of a special gift...it's nice and cool and all but it can also be a burden if you do not know how to use it and you just keep it to yourself. most probably because what you just saw freaked you out; and telling the others, or the one closest to you, or even to the person who was in your vision would further fluster both you and the person. i don't know if i can handle that if i were to have that gift. i'd most probably just do my best to look out for that person and save 'em without 'em knowing. then they'd either be thankful or they'd find you weird and call you weird...oh well, i'd rather be called weird than having the whole world know my gift [owh wait, i already am weird, hehe]. who knows! some scary people might take me away and isolate me and use me with things they wanna know [in the future], you know!? i don't know...lol...

well, i'm sure there will be a time when you're all set to help the world. most especially your loved ones. *sigh* i wonder..If he had only known how to use it earlier would he have saved his Mom. i've been longing to see and feel my Gramms, Gramps, Unc, and the rest of my relatives who have passed on yet i haven't seen nor felt any of their presences...maybe they think i'm not ready to see them yet. sometimes i really wanna see spirits but i don't think i can take it if i see the bad 'uns...i only wanna see good 'uns...cuz the bad 'uns don't look good...lol...*be careful what you ask for now, jojo* hehe, yeayea, i know...just a thought. but i guess it really is hard for those with special gifts...

we all have our own thang...so yeap! go do your thang cuz JC...you really moved me. well at least you saw her again; and maybe knowing that she's happy now will help you and your fam to move on with life? knowing that she's just there, watching over us...together with Gramms and all.
~~


Uhhuh! so take good care of your loved ones.

[like she always say;]
fighting:)

uhhuh!

hey peepz...

Emmm…
i didn't get to submit my portfolio...lol...
i realised i can't just hand it up like that...

got lotz more to do uh...anyways it's fun fun fun!
the only thing i hate about this module is Nelson anyway...hahaha...

for getting me debarred!!! *uggghh*

i was so craving for the school's chicken chop last night so i gratified my cravings this morning...i can say i'm proud i've improved! Dooode!

i like finished it okaye! [unlike before when i would leave it half-finished!] well, except for the bread and fries which i so wanted to finish up but i couldn't hold it anymore. you know that kinda feeling when you're full although you're not satiated! *sigh*

but oh well...thanks to Aida, YiJuan and Edmund for waiting ;)...Aida noticed i was kinda havin "difficulty" tryin to scoff down the food [my face like one kind liddat!]...i was further conscience-smittened by YiJuan who's been using Jesus' name [which is soooo wrong!] and going "Didn't Jesus tell you not to waste food?", "Didn't Jesus blah blah blah...", "A lot of people starving and you're wasting food..." [not her exact words]

and so on...lalala...whatever YIJUAN...
And and, she and Aida kept annoying me,

mentioning the word "B........" *rolls eyes*
Again! WHATEVER YIJUAN...

back in class, i suddenly had the urge [i’ve been having that urge since monday!] to ask Nelson why he debarred me from the module...[seeing his face sickens me already so i had to ask!] and he said,

"blah blah blah, you debarred yourself…"
"blah blah blah, your attendance is below 75%, blah blah blah..."

Ughh!!! so nottt! lol...won't argue lah! but if i remember clearly, that was like..on the 1st term lah! after the holidays i improved whaaat! whatever sia! i don't like you lah Nelson-fuckson! [lol...exagg...]

Anyway, i was pretty noisy in class today...been kinda disturbing YiJuan alot [sarcastically] and she kept going "Joanne, are you okaye?!", "You don't seem yourself today...", "You must be taking it too seriously" [or at least something like that], "I hate you lah!", "Shut up lah", "You're not my Joanne anymore!!!"

Ughh!!! so nottt! i'm sooo myself okaye! i'm sure you like it! lol!

Towards the end, took some pictures for the Life Skills project presentation...*my face like fuck sia* [as always...kekeke...]

**
Canteen...
YiJuan with her plate of rice and veggie *rolls eyes* [veggie girl] approaches me...

YiJuan: Joanne, you want to drink anything?
Me: Huh? Ouh, i want to drink Whatever...
**

hehe...funny right?! laugh arrrr! bad sia! FUCK YOU! Lame-ass suckkafu!
kaye lah, i have to cram redi! tomorrow test sial!

8 chaps and it's already 11pm!
Ughhh!!!

profile

Schools:
Veritas Parochial School ['92-'96] >> De La Salle School ['96-'01] >> Chestnut Drive Sec ['02-'06] >> ITE College West Dover ['07-'09]

Occupation:
Student

Affiliations:
JESUS, YFC, St. Joseph's Church, Black-White-Pink, BGBG, Clique10, 5/1

Hobbies:
Sound-tripping, Shoppin, Actin, NET-Surfing, TV-ing, Eatin, Sleepin, Dancing, Crayon-ing, Laughing

Interests:
Theatrical Performances, Sports [Baseball, AmericanFootball, IceHockey, FieldHockey, Basketball, Hurdles, Skateboardin, Dirtbikin, Surfin, Wakeboardin, Blading], Acting, Movies [action, action-adventure, adventure-comedy, action-comedy, romance, romance-comedy]

I love:

GOD
Family
Friends
Myself
[trying to love] enemies [if there are]

subscription to boredom

Hey hey! I couldn’t bear not to b-log! Especially when somethin’s up!

Recently I’ve just “subscribed” to someone’s blog and has been a sort-of-avid regular reader then. Someone who doesn’t really like me…[can‘t look at me straight in the eyes…hahaha…which made me dislike the person too…] hahaha…well actually I do admire the personality, but the fact that the person dislikes me makes me sad…awww…lol!
Well, nevertheless I still like the posts…some are humorous…some are serious-sappy-average?!…

But! mostly inspiring…her views in life and all...*oooh, I loooiiike*…lol…

Yep, well, *news flash*…
Well, it’s more of a yesterday’s [Monday =.~" ] news…
I got debarred from Multimedia Essential module exam…
Apparently, Nelson is too blind to see and notice the rest of the students who comes to class way fucking later than me! They come after break! Which is like 10?

Hmmm, that ol’ man must have the hots for me eyy?! Hahaha…what the fuck!? Well, then he shouldn’t only focus on me! That bustard-custard!
Ouh wells, I gots to sign an appeal form…lalala… it’s not like it’s only MY fault…mm-hmm!

Today’s class…emm, it was uberly b-o-r-i-ng!!! here’s why:
Last night, I stayed up til 3-fucking-am just to do my portfolio! [oh yeah, thanks to Thiru and Sam for keeping me company!]
So I saved it in my thumb drive, [along with the sources that I need for my continuation of the portfolio in school] and it ccc-rashed on me! What the FUCK! So I couldn’t do it lah! I didn’t do nothin’ except to laze around and surf surf surf the net…*sigh* ~____~"
Okaye, well…emm, Imma go do my portfolio lah hor…see ya?

AWOL...hehe...

pssst...
i'll be away for a week
cuz i'll be preoccupied with exams, submissions and tests...

so emmm...just skedaddle okaye!!!
hahaha...just kiddin'
i'll see y'all around...
see ya when i see ya...
peace out...lol...

itch

In a state of confusion…
So many things goin on in my mind…
I can’t quite comprehend…

I know not what to do anymore.
I feel like I’ve restricted myself to only doing certain things and that’s it
I can’t seem to move forward with studies and everything

lalala...

geez

Hey hey…
I couldn’t connect to the i-net last night

so I gotta wait for today…
How was your yesterday?

Mine’s okaye.
Went for the Exile gig
Audiocean was fine except for some pitchy errors.
We got sooo bored we sneaked up on his little brother

with a girl only we CDIANS know…
Pretty impish eyy…
We went back to the gig when we eventually lost em both.
Trella band was dope…Bong, the guitarist looks cute!
Some moshing moshing…
After that band, we left…

I’m sorry I can’t help being paranoid.
It’s becoz she’s still skulking around
It’s not that easy you know
Here I am, needing your COMFORT…
REASSURANCE the least…
But all you do is shut up…
It’s as hard for me as it is for you
I know I always bring it up
Because I do not know if you’re keeping things from me
Whatever the hell it is, I hope to one day find PEACE…
Because I don’t feel you’re WITH me…
I’m sorry…

do something...

sigh...

Friday Friday…
Cut class…
Too lazy uh…

But at least I cleaned the house okaye!
Then went out…
T’was Julez-Day today… ''=.=''
Accompanied him to alter HIS freakin jeans
Then went to LP buy HIS facial wash
After which, walked to Meridien to eat cuz HE was hungry
Then shopped for HIS clothes. ''=_="

Sialarrr...boring sia! hehe...

I soooo need to work so I can shop shop shop but I won’t drop.
Eh, duhlings uh…if any of y’all can gimme work for 5weeks, baik uh!
Preferably, F&B uh…so I can eat the food there…wekekekeke…
I know I funny right…
Yala yala whatever!

Puhleeeze! I need cash badly larrr…F&B okaye?! Resto uh…

eerrbuddy in da club gett'n tipseyy

Yesterday was dope…
because because…
I had a great time doing my job!
I wuz sellin sellin…
and and…many were comin comin…
hurhur…

I didn’t get to see the concert in the hall…
The live bands…

well…they suck…
except for the raggae-ska? band…
at least I kinda enjoyed it…
though their intonation…needs more improvement *wakakaka*
Ouh yeah! Khuzaifa was the one wearing red jeans.
Gee…I didn’t recognise him til Askdee approached and told me. *whoooaaa*
[psst! I used to crush on Khuzai…in Pri Skoo uh...

but seeing him again…errr…nahhhhhhh…next please! Hahaha]

Went to CCK to wait for YJ… -___- one hour..
but worth the wait..hehe [and she’d probably say “it should!”]
Was in a hurry to get home cuz cuz I needed to PEE-wee…lalala
but but! the motherfucking LRT was delayed for like 754237283hours! *ugh*
The Kiasus shifted to the other LRT which left later…hahaha!
cuz I think they thought that the LRT on my side was the faulty one.
Aaaanyway, I rested then blahblahblah…

Went to Brendz’ place first then met Julez and headed for Velvet Dragon…
the queue was freakin long but we skipped cuz Arch got us in fast…VIP lah…hehe…
the gals agreed that the Ladies[toilet lah!] was ubber-pretty!
really really... you should go in…if only my toilet was like that…sigh…
Had Vodka and Whiskey…
Best part is I didn’t pay at all…*wakaka*
Lalala…left the place at around 5 to go McD for breakfast…
Headed to Brendz place to get my stuffs then to my crib. Fuck the rain man…
Reached home at 6plus and woke up at 8plus and slept again and woke up at 11...
So much for the alcohol I consumed…I was almost gonna barf but I handled it well.
Arch, B and Julez stopped me already

cuz they didn’t want momma and poppa to go haywire…*lol*
Whate’er that…

I hated my make up though…
I look better without make up on…lalala…hehe…
Okaye I’m sofa king hungry right now I can eat you!
But I won’t...cuz you ain’t yummy enuff… *bleah*

HAPPY 42nd NATIONAL DAY SINGAPORE!!!

[my home!]

DOZY

Doooode!
I
M
Sooo
Gonna take MRT to school EVERYDAY!
Early sia!
Just 20 mins late compared to bus;

which would make me miss class! *lerrr*

Dreamweaver’s cool…
Real cool…
Just like Photoshop
And Sound Forge
And Premiere…
Lalala…

Went for the bloody IC “meeting”…
Reached home at six siool!
First time ever to go home that late from school -___-

Mom made chicken sandwiches…
haven’t had that in a looong time so I guess I missed it…
*chomp*chomp*chomp*



*This just in!!!*
Mom’s naggin at me for;
My messy room,
Not vacuuming,
Filthy toilet,
And basically, not helping her with the chores…
*Ughh!!!*

That’s real infuriating!
We should really get a maid lah!
But they refuse to!
They want us to learn!
Like whatthefuckingfuck!
I’m a busy lady now!
And then too…*lol*
And in the future…*duhh*

Mom went
“You like that how your court gonna like you!”
And all I could do was roll my eyes.
That’s just real fucked up man.
She’s a whiner! Like me! *errrggghhh*

Aight, I should STOP! whining too…

traLala

I’m having my LuNner…
I just had banana
Now I’m havin my main course, Rice with Chop Suey
Lalala…
Baby woke me up that’s why!
I was having a wonder-weirdful dream when
I heard my phone go “tennen-tennen-tennen” *waleoooo*

Okaye…my class started at 9am and
I was still LATE! Whatthemotherfuckingfuck!?? *hurhur*
Lalala…
I give up lah…
But uh! Esther say egg-jam cannot be late le…must be there ½h before…
I’ll still try! Nono…I’ll DO it…cannot give up…it’s like givin up my dream!
Wahh, cannot imagine lerrr…k lah…pretty nonsensical post…

I’m just bored and my fingers wanna type…

Cya…

sunday mass

A pretty lonely Sunday
Dad went to work
Arch went back to camp
And a few hours later, Mom went off to work too…
Leaving me all alone…
Which was a good thing!!!
*hurhur*
I got the house all to meself *evil laugh= muhwa-hahahahaha!!!!*

Ok lah!
I vacuumed
I bathe
I left
Met Julie-an :)
Picked up my skirts
Attended mass
Bumped into ate Tina
Had dinner all together at BPP
Waited for her to be done with her groceries then headed home

I remembered I had to do Cisco!!!!
But too late liao le! So the sway hor?!
Nemer-mai one lah horrr…fail fail me no care…
Hurhurhur!!! Jowk jowk jowk!!!

K lah! It’s almost 0000 hours…must hit the sacks or else baybhie get anggery! Waleooo…
G’nyt peepole!

have u really?

Hell-err…
I woke up at 8today. *stunned* O_O
Didn’t know what to do the whole day til he asked me

to join them at Vivo.

Still a lil uneasy, but I’ll probably catch up soon.
Walked around then had lunch then headed to

Marina Bay fer steamboat.
‘Twas okaye. Pretty bloated.
Dad and I picked Mom up while Arch sent Brendz home.
Glad we took a cab cuz I couldn’t fucking walk no more.
That’s about my Saturday.

I so fucking get hurt every time I see or hear HER name.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I just feel I’m not good enough…
or that no one can ever replace her in your heart…
Sometimes I think I made the wrong moves.
But I still wanna give it a try.

Only because I have regained my feelings for you.
Do you?

hmmm

TGIF!
Lalala. Yess yess, it's fuggin Friday yow! And I have no plans yow.
Well, not really that allowed to go out at night…so yeah.
But but at least in the day can go out mah…
But but! Still no plans =[

School was fine…
Didn’t have Life Skills class today cuz Ms Jo Ong was busy with the
Nat’l Day sheyyt so we just chilled at the Canteen…
During PE, went to street soccer court…
The gals, YJ, Aida, Atiqah, Izza and I stayed at the Bball court to chill.
YJ and I “cloud-tanned” while we chatted about
random sheyyt; waxing, eyebrow threading, puberty, etc?!
Went for Inspire Club meeting and and we already got a job for this Wed’s event.
Dooode! I’m in-charge of the Choco Fountain selling marshyymallows…lalala.
Y’all should come me stall yow!
But but, if you all don’t want also can la. I can use my power to seduce y’all!

Got home…
Slept in the aft til 5
Then went to Bangkit to have me skirt altered…
The fucking uncle said $8 and I was a little surprised.
I remembered Ros teaching me to bargain…so I said,
“Eh uncle uh! $6 can or not uh!?”
Then he say “can.”
But uh, I think right! $4 can…wahhh fushit la…

Ugh!!!
Fucked up…
I got no more dough y’know.
I’m broke again larrr…
*sigh*…I’m gonna have to save up again for people’s gifts…
Like OMG! I hate that!
Lalala…okaye I’ve got nothing else to say…

bloody blisters

Lalala…I was early! Cuz I took 963E, teehee.
Lesson lesson.
Lei lei today so emo leiiii…
At the lab, let YiJuan feel me upper abss…tahha. I’m succha braggart!!!
Lalala…

Anyway, chilled at CP with baby.
Then went back to his new place to grab his “merchandise”.
Didn’t wanna go in…but but Mommy Ella called me in

so I went in and “kirim salam” then we left.
I saw his Dad at the void deck then “kirim salam” also lorr.
Chilled at CP again for his puff before boarding the bus.
Singin singin on our journey.

Then then walked through Bangkit Market to the LRT station to head for

Greenridge SC to chilli chilli.
My new shoes were killin me…
On the way home, I gave up and

sweet baby took off his sleepers and let me wear it,

then he carried my shoes til the lift; walking barefooted.

And then and then I had to kiss him g'bye…

Awwwww…

Lalala…
Congrats to Brigid and I…

Wed-mad-nessday

Today, the earliest day we were supposed to go school, 745am,

and I actually only took a bath at 610 and reached at 830...

I usually have my bath at 530.

Okaye, whatever that…

Reached school, went to the hall, couldn’t find my class so I thought of going to the “washroom” and will somehow manage to find it!

Hahaha, y’all'll be thinking,

“Go toilet find your class? Your class in the toilet ar?”

Spotted Nelson and asked where the class is, he pointed and when I was headin for the class, Mr Gremar [my KABABAYAN yo!!!] and Sab pulled me in to join their class, “You come my class, you today from 1A” So I was like, Otayee! Her class boys reminds me of 5/1...the “togetherness” I saw in ‘em made me feel “at home”…
I looked to my left, and noooo, I didn’t wanna go there! Haha! No, I’m not a hypocrite of 1D, just that, they aren’t fun enough lah! Maybe if they start jumping around like crazy monkeys with bananas in and on? their mouths I’d be happy to go there. A.T saw me singing crazily along with Sab and she kept smiling and laffing. Teehee, I think she wanted to join lah, hehe. I could see she can be the hyper type.
I looked behind and noticed the stagnant atmosphere with only our side active =_=" These people can’t go to a fucking Rock Concert cuz they’re so deaddo; worst than Zombies! I’m talkin about the inactive students okaye! What a pity lah. And I thought those naughty guys would probably be the loudest, screaming their heads off, singin the NDP songs.

Bahh, just don’t ever mix me with these kinda people.

I’d be dead within seconds. Talala…’nuff said.

After the “rehearsal”, had break. Had chicken chop again that I left unfinished. The rest finished it so fast! and mind you, they ate later than me! I hate to say this, and you’re prolly gonna laff when I say

I TOLD YOU SO! My throat is just fucking SMALL!!! Lalala…

No lesson today, Nelson just gave us assignment! We hafta sketch our ideas for the this thingy uh. Creating blogskin using Dream Weaver. Dooode, I’ve been like waiting fer this momentoow, yo! I wanna create my own template! As in from sss-cratchhh…it’d be the coolest thing ever. Because because, lalala. I am so gonna be EARLY for school next Tue and Wed! I can’t afford to miss a few minutes. Tahha, I’m exxag-ing. I’m not at all as excited and eager as I actually sound here.

Tweee…see what words can do…propaganda baby! Lalala…

I am actually falling in-love again. It’s my feeling now, today. Cuz my feelings usually changes as fast as I blink! Lalala…but yes, I really am right now. Just before that, I was feeling insecured again.

Tell me, whaddafuck is this! Can’t I have a steady mood and feeling? Lalala. It’s better this way lah, actually.

JKLM! You suck doode!

Hahaha, just kiddin. I like you… =>

dun fren you!

Today, I accompanied Momsy to do some groceries and somehow, the things that I’ve been seeing for the past few days have made me reminisce about my childhood - the good ol' days. Although it was cut short when we had to come here in Singapore. [7years in the Phils]

In Manila
I remember running around the backyard [with my big, brown teddy bear,] with my big brother and his

toy gun-with-belt wrapped around his waist.
Playing badminton, Chinese garter, and blading in the front yard with

brother, cousins and neighbors.
I even made friends with the squatters who [lived somewhere and] liked to hang around our place just to watch us play with our toys. Toys that they could never have =[
I remember teaching myself to blade cuz Arch was engrossed with his other toys[; forgetting about his own blades]. I was what? 4-5 years old then…
I remember how I nursed cousin JC [who kept falling off his bicycle] with just cotton and water and how he’d say “Hey, I’m okaye already! No more pain!” then go back to his cycling and other rough games and comes back for more treatment.

I remember how pain in the arse Arch was with our maids;

throwing his sleepers at them when he climbed those sharp gates to escape just to play basketball in front of our house. [Trivia: 16 maids in 2years]
I remember how he got our family into trouble [;with our second last maid before we left for Singapore]. That fucking one-eyed-maid who got fired, came back and pretended to be

our aunt [and Arch actually bought it!!!] and he naively let them in to our house only to find out that they were thieves. By then our TV, VHS and many other stuffs were gone. *sigh*

They got caught in the end I think…Wakakaka…

I remember how Arch and I were favored [among all our cousins] by Aunt Teresa and her

then-boyfriend-now-hubby Unc Arthur; bringing us along on their dates and and treating us to movies and ice-skating and doing groceries and blah-blah-blah as if we was their kids.

And we were also favored by gramms Alice! Bringin’ us to the grocery and and buying us

whatever-the-hell we wanted! *lalala*

In Laguna [province]
I remember how we relished the old house of my maternal Gramms Jovita, ‘chwas made of wood.
How we’d enjoy sleepin’ on the second floor cuz the flooring was made of bamboo stick.
It was the only house in their neighborhood that was made of wood, the others was concrete.

But but!!! It was also the only house that never gave in to

the many many typhoons that passed by every year.
Mom told me how their neighbors mocked the house and got karma-ed when - with the every typhoon, their rooftops got flown off!!! Tahahaha! Fockersss…
Sadly, that wooden house had to go cuz cuz of the eeeky-weeeky termites and and with the foundation gett’n weaker. Lalala.
I remember how we made and sold “ice candies” with cousins [in 3 flavors; coconut? Orange and chocolate]. Lollerz.

THEN! We had to come here!

My childhood here…hmm, ‘twas fun for awhile. Then it got boring. First few years were dope,

we were very active; having parties after parties every weekend, hitting the water [beaches/pool],

outings anywhere; BBQs/ice skating/pot luck. Then all sorts of FUN got cut off. Many friends of Dad’s migrated to other countries and that was when we lay low, staying home most of the time,

only occasionally attending parties. *sigh*

‘Til now, our family life’s been like this. Very reserved. Tralala…
The only fun I resorted to from then on was those parties and and fun fair and and toys and and those thingies [vending machines?] you put 20cent and $1 coins then the toy, kept in a round thingy comes out...and also those small rides in the malls, where you put 20cent coin and you go round that that thing, kinda like ferris-wheel-one-seat-version?! Lol..

The thing is, the kids I saw just now made me remember how fun it is to be a sprog; never having any problems that we youths face now. The only problem we all had as tykes were about toys that our friends had that we didn’t…and when we ask our folks to get us that toy we so badly want yet we can’t, we’d be crying our asses out and it’d be the Biggest problem evvah. I dunno if you guys did anything like that but I did. I’d whine and whine til I get it. And I got it! Well, sometimes I don’t lah. But but ain’t it fun being sprogs just running around, pointing to things we want, getting many gifts during occasions. Now, we’re all young adults, facing [and creating our own] problems.

How time flies. I wish I can relive those days again. That’s gonna be my very wish for now!

Well, That’s all folks! My novel-post! Not long enough! Hahaha! I can go on but I got zippo childhood memory already. There may be a Part II for this. Teehee! Wajout!

Not like any of you care anyway! Tralala…G’nyt! *kisses*

blues

Monday blues… lol.
Was very the freaking drowsy when I woke up. Must’ve been the lack of sleep I‘ve been havin.
Forced myself up and took a cold bath. Helped a lot; felt more awake…

In the bus, grogginess came back so I fell asleep =.="
In the class too. Esther noticed so she taught us some exercise…lalala…

After class, went for this “Smoking” talk.

Initial plan was to ditch but some dickless people [Lei-lei] couldn’t walk off when we could’ve!

So we went… Weeeyll, it wasn’t bad after all. T’was pretty dope actually. So yeah.

Reached home feeling jaded. Luckily, Akid ajak-ed to treat…Went to BPP KFC with the guys, Akid, Ayid, Fizzy and Mus… Don’t know whatever-the-hell happened to the gals.
Lalala… got caught in the rain *sigh* Just hope I won’t fall sick lah huh…
It’d be a total disaster if that ever happened!
Many people will be sad, oh-so sad.



Oh! I got to hug Sabby! Fina-freaking-lly!
Kid, thank you for the treat ehk!

“Who wants to kiss an ashtray…” [lalalaaaa…]

to my marshMELLERZ

Not a very good way to start the day.

I was awoken by an alarming message

yet I’d like to thank that friend

for remembering me and confiding.

It saddened me to hear her break the news.
I could only listen to her speak.
Pretty speechless actually; startled…
I couldn’t believe hearing those words come out of her mouth.
I remember listening to both sides before.

How much they admired/admire each other.
How they treasure each other.
How much they fought for their love despite

the difficulty of their situation.
How much we all admired their relationship.
How that - in a way inspired some of us.

The last happy moment with them I can recall is

my connivance with her for his birthday.

The love that took them so much to build has ended eventually.

I learned that, it’s a real drag when someone suddenly gives up in the relationship that took them so much to build.

It’s so easy for the other party to just say the words

just because they don’t feel anything anymore

while the other grieve with the death of their relationship.

I know not what better to say but all I can say is you will get better each day that passes. It’s gonna hurt for a long while but it’s the days you’re gonna get up and walk that is important.



Please, as soon as you get back here, we’re gonna talk.

It’s okaye you weren’t there but I’m gonna make sure I’ll be here.

I’m honored. I’ll see you real soon.

fighting!

(:

lalala

Lalala…I’m gonna try to blog while I still can. I’m FAGGED doode! I had to wait up for Arch cuz he had no keys! It’s 2am now. He just came… finally! My eyelids are drooping though…but I’m gonna do this…lol!

Anyway, nothing much today. Supposed to go baby’s place at 7 but but I slept at 2+ the night before so couldn’t wake up early. He called at 8 so I woke up and yadda-yadda-yadda. Nothing uh, hehe…we just lazed at his place, helped him tie books cuz they’re gonna shift house to W’lands =[ sad la! So farrrrr!!! *sigh* Like that uh, I go his place he cannot send me home already. *sniff*sniff* Lalala…whateverrrrr *rolls eyes non-stop*

Finally, washing machine’s fixed!
Emm…my room’s in a mess again.
Emm… I’m using my Taz blanky.
Emm…I haven’t done the cisco shit…
Emm…I’m fucking famished…
Emm…I’m bored…
Eeeemmm…I’m cute?!
Hahahhaa, what a joker, I know! You like right?! Elelelelelelele…hehe

Aight dawg! I’m really fagged…I’m gonna hit the sacks nah…g’nyt, I love you people =p but you should love me more

im at ease na...

Ola…
½h late for JTS, nevertheless I learned so much even with that ½h lesson left.

I really must come early next week... or at least on time!

I hate coming late for my favourite class! Dimwit!

Anyway, PE afterwards, didn’t join in cuz cuz got period! [sway sia!]

Plus plus it poured! *Gee-whiz*

So I got drenched again!
Anyway, baby Jules brought me lunch; spag, chicken, cassava and salad

cuz I didn't turn up for his bbq.
Watched Troy.
Headed to his place then went to Cine to pick up his baby ipod.
Met mom at Yew Tee.
Surprisingly saw Tasha… -.-''
Off to Tito Gines’ place to deliver the thingy.
Dinner at McD, Lot1


PS.
Thank you Akid and Kris for your time last night
Jules, thank you for the clarity in everything and more to come. hehe..

fushit!

mood:
rage!
state of confusion
hysteria

ok this is killing me!
i feel unwanted all of a sudden
correct me if i'm wrong
but if i am,
i feel i'm not fully wanted
why is that so?
i'm sick! i know..
insecurity
uncertainty
diffidence

i need people's
assurance
company
friendship
affection

where is it?
i need it
it's the only remedy
please give me someone i can share this feeling with
i want a friend with the same condition as me

take back

Afterwards, I felt I shouldn’t have. Thursday was fine. Got to chill with 1A boys during break,
Why do I still feel second or maybe not even second at all? Akid, Ayid, Fizzy, Erwin Irwin ~.-"

Can you reassure me? and Luqman. Sabbz and the girls were at the other side of the canteen
There’s still something so I didn’t bother to approach em [keke]. They came afterwards, chat a lil

Something I need to see then left for class so I went back with the Chi gang and they started
To see that you’re with ME teasin me again. "Seducer, seducing the boys" *sheesh*

Just chillin my arse down herre.

25/07/07 1947h

Wednesday.
MME day.
Late again. *sheeeesh* [like I‘m so flabbergasted?!]
We were given an assignment;
10 clips to make 2 vids in 4 hours.

5 clips each vid.
Didn’t get to start with the second. *geez*.
Nelson said to continue next week.
Had group project at the Cafeteria.
Bought e-pass for Mervvie-Merv.
Then went to J’s place for lunch and to chill.
Right.

I’m bushed.

hole in the heart

My Monday was constant. Same ol’ shet. The class decided to watch Vacancy today [Tue]. I said yes and even planned to sandwich Hong Lei [flirter] with Yi Juan. And bully him! *sigh* I couldn’t go cuz I wanted to go for the Art Workshop. Well, that feeling was yesterday.

Today! I got all lazy and lethargic so I didn’t go. I was late for an hour for class. Yet gladly, there was no lesson. Cuz cuz there was this “something Educational something?!” Bahh, I forgot the name. *gee-whiz* The first few items were uber-corny til this local-known Racial dance group or something came and performed. At least it woke us up, especially the Bhangra dance. Wanted to groove to it but but I can only do it with Nurul and Sabby!!! These two are the only ones I can crazy-dance with anytime, anywhere. *sigh* I miss ‘em already. So yeah, after they performed, it was back to the corny items. *sigh* I so wanted to walk out! But but I was hoping there’d be other fun items that followed. But zilch. ITE Dover “Stomp” performed. Haha! Dooode, it was nothing compared to CDSS STOMP. At least they’re better! You should’ve come down to IMM Sat. Lol. Ok, ‘nuff mocking. Then the last piece was a song “I Believe I Can Fly”, had technical problems, the students were too fucked up to even care to stay so they walked off. Poor them, no more audience. Mervin and I followed then the rest too.

Had lunch with Merv as the rest were heading off to Vivo. Sweet Merv [my lesbian partner] told me his story. Sad case! Now I feel you dude. I do hope you get well and still succeed in life.

That’s about it I guess. I don’t know what else to type but I feel like typing! *haiyuh* Ok lah! I feel like ditching school tomorrow but I know I can’t afford to miss lesson. I’m the goodest girl anyone has ever met in their entire lives. Uhhh, rrright... I need a good cuddle! And only one person can do that! Yess!!! You know yourself. So shut up! Hah. Kidd’n. Love yousss peoplesss.

what is this?! huh?!

It wasn’t much of the closeness that I thought of when I shared something with a friend. I guess it just came out. I hesitated, but in the end, I thought that maybe its worth sharing since she spilled something heavy too. I don’t know if trust was involved, because ultimately, we both told each other never to tell.

Trust has always been that big of a deal to me. Ever since I learned my lesson; wailed, cried and howled like a wounded animal; well, not to the extreme though. I guess you can kinda say that I am now gradually gaining my trust on the people surrounding me. It took me years, and yes, there is still a barrier, and will probably always be but at least it wasn’t as bad as it was before; when I shut myself off from the world, never saying anything to anyone about my life. It made me become anti-social. And they’d probably never understand why and would just give an insensible judgment of me being lame and corny as an anti-social whatsoever. And those are the gregarious people who never spare thoughts for people who are unlike them. Well yeah. Reserved people are more sensitive because they don’t easily trust people and they know who is real and who is the hypocrite. I’m not referring to anyone in particular though.

But anyways, I sincerely hope that no one will tattle the things I trust them never to spill. It’s hard enough gaining my trust in you let alone tell you. But I did. So the least you can do is keep it, bury it.

This not only refers to one person but to the people I’ve told on. Because YOU have my word when I promised. I just wonder how long you can keep it but I sincerely hope you’ll bring it to your grave. Teehee.

On a lighter note, I miss you people. I miss the yesterdays. Every single day that passes, in fact every single second that passes, is a moment to be treasured. For these are the things that will help us through in life. Be it good or bad. We may get hurt but it actually strengthens us. I may complain and whine and grumble and carp in my posts but hey, it’s just my way of letting it out! At least I do get better afterwards.

Ouh…and yeah, doode! Stop treating me like that, I'm not yours. Quit it already.
And you. Doode, don't waste your time, you won't get anything from me. Aren't you tired?!
And you! Doode, don't be over-sensitive. Geez!
And you. Doode! Stop already if you think you can't give me your time. Because you only appear once in a blue moon then disappear again! Like whatthefuck?!

saturday

Sa’erdayyy

Arlooo, I had difficulty wakin up cuz my body was in pain. Pulled myself up, took a bath and left! Lee smsed me about the CDSS Stomp thingy. So went to IMM to meet Feedah and Aree Then watched the SYF Kaleidoskope or something. CDSS STOMP performed. Kuya Jay liked it! Of coz uh! Then then dunno where else to go so we walked to Jurong Entertainment to chill at the Ice Skating place there. They went to buy Bubble Tea and waffle while we bought cigarette. Chilled awhile at the there. Then went to Lot1 and met his best friend’s aunts, after which we all had dinner at kuya Jay's place. Feeda smsed again; she and her the BF missed us and said we were fun to be with! So we chilled at the pool side. Then went home uh. Thought I could still bond with Dad, but he sleeping uh! I say hi, then he replied me with a fart! *Waddda!!*

Okay uh, that’s all. I tired redi. K uh, bye!

20/07/2007

Puuurrfect date!
Right? Right?!

I was late for school. Didn’t get to attend my favorite class, JTS! Went for PE instead. After teacher marked our attendance, I went off. Went home with Atiqah. Got to know her bettur. [lol]

Went to Kuya Jay’s place to have lunch then headed to Far East to meet Sabby!!! And Lindz! Then then, went to look for the shoes that I was lookin for. Then then went to look for the top Sabbz was lookin for. Then then sent Lindz to the bustop cuz she had to go home. Then then went back to Far East cuz the little girl wanto buy Bubble Tea. Then then I bought them “Fried Mars Bar”. Then then they eat eat. Theeeen, we headed to Yew Tee for eyebrow threading while Sabbz went home. NICE SIA…

Then then went back his place to sleep. Tired sia! Then then I went home. Then that’s when I started to shivvvvvveeerrr. Fell sick sia! Then MUMMY hugged me! *Awww* I miss’er!

lucky it couldn't go in

was running late for school

got a call

had breakfast

rained

chilled there

supposed to go school during break

heavy rain

go there sleep

got a message from Akid

went lot1

met new friends, Julia and Rashidah...

went McD

i bought Sab ice cream

they went off

Ayid came

eat eat

went back there to sleep

then go home

boring siaaaa! ahakz, sorry for ditching school. tc people.