wake up!!! do ur thanggg...

*stoning*...

~{girlishness}~
psssssst!!! my hs crush called last night. haha.

~{back to normal}~
what an ass...i miss the days already. sorry but i hope the next time, i'll be able to make it. haha, only deedee met up with faie and mirul, attendance: 3/10. ouh well, still got next time :) hope it'll be 10/10!
glad to have heard from you again though. it's been like, gazillion years already you mofo sheyt! i miss the guys too! wonder how louhan's hair's like now, wakakaka.

~{girlishness}~

aww, i'm pretty happy to hear the voice of the previous CDSS soccer team captain! and most especially, who once haddd something fo...uhh

N-NNE-NEVER MIND! i'm just too overwhelmed; got carried away, teehee.

~{back to normal}~

i feel like goin back to those days where you guys were still wearing "low-shorts", mirul burn'n his leg hair [busok giler siol!] and kelly's too [she got kinda mad] one time and hasbullah rebelling on the teachers; most especially mrs viswa [aka penguin] and and and making mr siow [aka einstein] cry after all the bullies and the throwing of papers at him and just giving him a hellavafuckinhardtime teaching! *pants*

~{girlyly}~
we were so young back then! so cute and all [well, except for mie at least *humble* =p]
*sigh* memories...how i wish i can relive them, and maybe ditch vans for him.

~{back to normal}~
haha. kiddin'...
PS FIDADOTDOTDOT...FYI, HE'S NOT MY "ALL-TIME CRUSH", JUST "THE HS CRUSH" :)

fuck sheyt. i racked out last night at 2am and mom woke me up at 6 to see her off and then jumped back in to dream more dreams but but couldn't get back to lala land...lerrrr...so i got up and've been on the screen since then. 'i want candy' is a great flick. dunno why i actually have to go out and squander my bread when i can just sit my tush and watch 'erre. ouh yea, it's "the friends". i forgot, hehe. quality time with friends is important. lalala. whatevurr. just kidd'n. okaye lah.

~{girlylyly}~
movie postponed to monday cuz of my fucking zits. *sigh* hope it's gone by then.
aww, i know my skin is never that flawless anyway. but still, zits just makes it all even worse! it's already bad, enya still wanna make it worse! *sheesh* pick someone pretty will ya?! we ugly gals dun deserve extra sheyt to just give us more hard time on looking neutrally well! *ughhh*

~{back to normal}~
fuck! i feel i've been experiencing famine this week. e'rrbody's busy, no food to scoff, lazy to walk all the fucking way to greenridge to buy food, no sheyt, no dosh, no FUN larr!!! *ugggghh* i've literally no one to depend on! folks come home late, so i can't bug em to buy me sheyt, arch camp [duh], friends...well, i live too damn far for them to even drop by, say hi, [and if so happens, fortunately] with some food on their hands! *sigh* but too bad.

plus plus, dad called at 730+ to inform that there was a quake. city area felt the tremors and north side too i guess? well, it's either bukit panjang actually also felt it or was i just "feelingless"...aww shux! wasted! i missed it. i haven't experienced such sheyt!

*sheesh* this week's been a disaster already! well, maybe except for a few events. but really, the worst disaster i guess is famine [lol, what a bad word to use]. okaye! owwwtta herre.

knock on my door and say "hello" and we'll dance crazy

here here dawdling on the second day...but not til a slack-jaw fortunately, i'm not the worst y'know!


~~

ninang genie and i're plannin for kuzzie giannina's 18th birthday come next early april...kuzz jen wants to celebrate her Debut here. so i guess it's a project for joanne.
"ProJiDy" is what i should call it; as in ProjJD, just like the planner's a prodigy!

kool ey? [cuz i'm DANK like that!]


~~

ouh, i got 86 for MME test 2weeks ago. lol, im swanking...was too lazy to brag about it last week. lol. wf?!
but but i think for CMO's exam yesterday...is gonna be a fluff. :( hope not though. imagine, all my tests i did well, but this exam...*sigh* only because i procrastinated on my revision. ouh well, sheyt sheyt.


~~

chalet next week. stoked bout'it! but but i dunno howzit gonna turn out. hope it doesn't bore me. please don't? anyone can come meet me. gonna tell you the addy and you can come peep if you're too shy to meet me. just don't stalk me aight? not til i'm stark-naked in the bath...wakakaka! dancing my ass in'erre.

catcha later!

you're too nice doode

~~

glad to be break-ing now *phew*
finally, quality time for hobbies and interests...

~~
unexpectedly finished :(
Halo3 to lend me? anyone?


~~
kinda pratajoyed pratasfied. thanks kid.

all i ever needed is a sincere sorry...

Haven’t you ever felt incomplete even after you’ve gotten what you wanted? Like as if something else was missing…

So then someone asks,
“okaye, so what do you want? What more do you want?”
A long pause; thinking scrupulously…
And then I say,
“It’s what I need…”

Cuz didn’t you just get what you wanted? Yet you still feel you lack of something? So you think hard whether it’s what you really want or what you really need…
You never really get what you always want right? It’s that, most of the times, you get what you need. People prioritize needs more than wants. And call me demanding and sheyt. But it’s just what I really need…but I need to receive it only when someone is ready and genuine enough to really give it.

just one of the many things

timed: 1316h

few years down the road,
"are you happy to have met me?"
"i'm thankful to have met you"

each time we make a decision, whether it turned out good or bad, haven't you thought about "what if" you chose the other path? i'm sure you have. and it's not necessarily called "regret"...well, maybe if it turned out bad for you and you'd be full of angst, then that'd be "regret". but when you've regained equanimity, you'd start to reflect...many things may not've worked out well in our lives, but i don't think i'd regret any of it. i'd be thankful it happened even if i'm not happy it happened.

and right now i'm wondering, is this my optimist side talking? perhaps? because i think again if i were full of ire, would i actually write this way? see all the "if"s?
a nice thing to ponder about eh?

i've got a minutiae for you. most of the things i ponder about appears while i wash the dishes...pretty weird we both may think. but i guess, it's the best time or the best doin for my mind to be contemplating...

no brat after all

dad hasn't been walkin that well; gout.
~and last night, 9plus, when mom came home, i told her i was craving for something. she nicely responded, "why didn't you call me?". [i didn't cuz i know she was tired]
dad then came home, 12, and i told him the same thing, and he said "why didn't you tell me earlier?" and of course i didn't cuzza his gout and it was already late he must be whacked. but what touched me was when he added, "do you wanna accompany me to buy it for you?"
~this morning, dad asked if i could do te groceries cuz mom's at work, and he had to leave for work too, and all i could say was "ouh, but i'm havin exam on mon..." with that stupid face...then dad said "spoiled brat ka talaga noh..."
~now dad just called, and i requested for something again and he said okaye and even asked what else i wanted...

*sigh* how blessed am i to have such parents! even if they're all fagged and havin pains around...plus plus they arrive in a bad environment [didn't clean] and there isn't any food for them to eat, they'd still do anything for you.
which made me think; am i a brat?! what makes up a brat?!
i'm indolent, i whine, i let them get me what i want, i can get away with things easily and they never mind, they do things i'm supposed to do and maybe much more. some friends think i am spoiled which seldom shows when i'm around 'em.

hmmm...but i guess one thing i'm never a brat with is when comes to money. i never got the habit of askin for cash just to splurge on useless things unlike kuya :) so can i say i'm not a brat after all?

i've been at home all by myself this week, again. folks often reach home between 9-12 and kuya in camp of course. *sigh* i hope tomorrow we'll be together. i miss them.

living it well baby

a question i asked myself few days ago...

"are you happy?"
"emmm, i'm contented..."

great :) being satisfied i guess, is enough to make God and the people around me feel that they are important to me. yes yes...well, at least i'm not a hypocrite anymore; to say things that aren't meant and supposed to be said. i do mean what i say now; not that i didn't back then but i haven't been really real for four months. i won't say shit just to make people smile and make 'em feel at ease...ain't that bettur? i won't be such a nice gurl who says nice things just cuz she's afraid of hurt'n people's feelings anymore.

eg1 "do you think i'm fat/cute/handsome/pretty?"

me: [sarcastically]"don't you have eyes to see for yourself?!" or [seriously] if i think you really are then i'd say yes, if not then i'll say no.

but well, i'm sure it heavily depends on the situation, don't you think?!

eg2. "do you like/love me?"

me: [depends on the percentage]

but if you're talking to someone who's about to die, emm, you either let em die knowin the truth [that can hurt and eventually kill em...] or be all nice with em...

so yeap. just one of the few things i've learned; being really true and straight-out honest, but still being sensible! ;)

i did some back-read'n and my very first post in THIS blog,
"...I feel I’ve grown more as a person. [yeye not as matured as we all think we all are; but matured enough for me in this stage of my life..nope..not my age..but the stage in my life..]"

hmmm, then i guess i've matured at least a weebit! in this stage! my 19th year in this world, started out okay-ey, but exactly a month later, screwed things up, but learned from it, got up, aaaaand living again! great ;) it's sooo...okaye wait, i'm fagged, lemme get some rest yah?! i'll continue...

**ouh and btw, 5/1 suck!!! none has sent any of the fffucking photos from bbq. sad...

surely, somma y'all will be going "eeeyerr, never get photo oni say suck oredi..."

and i'll just go "yeah yeah, whatevurr...[with an eye-roll]"

lol. just playin' around...ouh but then again, there is a LITTLE TRUTH behind every "JUZ KIDDIN"...so yeap! hehhe ;}

g'bye!

dipsy

*ampuchangamang yan oh*

haha! i learned that word! so funny! u gosta hear me say it! it's tagalog...i don't know how to spell it though, i just spelled it the way i pronounce it. *teehee!* it's an expression like "oh shit!", "what the fuck", "dammit"...

well, those really ain't the direct translation but yeah.

e-x-p-r-e-s-s-i-o-n! geddit?!

anyways, isn't God good? [all the time] and all the time, [God is good]...awww, i miss YFC already. "God is good...all the time...and all the time...God is good" we used to always say that.
okaye, anywayyyy, 2posts ago, i was reminiscing about the phils. and and how i wanna go back and all. well, God has his way of makin everyth'n happen. He doesn't give it right away but He has a way of giving it. and yeap! i'm gett'n it! awww...i know! how sweet!

i wanted to blog about this days ago, i just wasn't in the mood to. so here it is...
i know how you guys feel when you read some of our posts and you go "omg! that's how i feel too!" or "omg! that's what i was/am thinkin of..."

i realised that our lives are all really connected. well, i mean things happ'nin in our lives or how we think...there are unpublished posts i've written and reading your blog posts caught me eyes when i saw things that i've written are there too. how cool dat? lol. our lives are intertwined. so yeah. i'm too lazy to elabo. but maybe some of you dig me. *nods* uhhuh-uhhuh. i'll publish the posts when i'm in the mood of publishing 'em aight?! kool. great. lol?!

i am so bored. i hafta start my revision but but i'm lazy. haha. that is so not surprising to hear right?! lol. i've yet to clean my crib, [which as a procrastinator always does] will leave it til mom or dad comes home. i hate rushing but i always do it.

shtewped-ped-ped-ped...ahakz. okaye, GODAI....

sheyt! i need to dook!

"...don't be a wimp..."

return

why is it! that when i'm all inspired to post i'm never infront of the comp?! then when i finally get the chance to, i don't feel like posting anymore...gee...

it all comes just like that, but i never get to pen it down :[
awww...actually i've many things to say. but in no apt frame of mind. like the aura's different y'know?! y'don't? ouh whatever then.

i'll just come back when i feel like it..

take me out!

sup y'all?!
Fuck y'all!
*whoops*?! i am so habitually using that fucking word!! ouh fuck!

i have been eating my Fav foods so far. great!
started on Fri with Sting Ray then Sun with Pizza then yesterday with Donut then today with KFC'S crispy chicken and Donuts again; [which made me think of why it's become an "in" thing now in S'pore ~.~] i think tomorrow iiiis emmm, not sure lah. but maybe Thurs i'll have Sushi or Bagel...then Fri maybe Hokkien Mee or Prata or McFries or BK'S Turkey Bacon Burger or Shawarma or Taco Bell or Ceasar Salad or Mud Cake or i better stop this food-sheyt now?!

ouh! got something to tell you! i didn't get to take a crunch yesterday nor Sunday, and not even today. so yeah, pretty nasty farts today. it's never usually like that! lol. i better stop this now. it's probably grossing you out...hahaha! all the better actually! wakakaka. *adds* i hope i get to punch a dook later :P [okaye, enough!]

i haven't been drinkin coffee as much as i used to last year cuz the effect is really wild! lol. i forget so many things i have even forgotten my name sometimes. *nods* yup, really.

anyhoo, i miss Arch already...*random*

i kinda miss the phils. Mega Mall and Mall of Asia are my Favs. i miss roaming around Glorietta Mall; in and out of Aunt Tere's shop. i miss the tagalog convos i hear whereever i went. i miss commuting, sucking in all the smoke.
ouh! i miss the street foods; bbq and all. i miss Yellow Cab Pizza, Max's Resto, Aunt's place in Greenhills.
OUH i soooo miss Enchanted Kingdom and Star City! rides baby!!! *sigh* wonder when i can go back there again. :[ will you take me there? okaye?! set! *haiz* homesick siol!

five-week school break, nowhere to go. so boring. duwanna work, cannot go back to phils, no allowance [cuz i never like to ask for any] which means no gimmicks [unless at your expense] where you'll totally rather forget about hanging with me after reading those three words ;p
so what do i fucking do after all my scheduled plans have passed? *melancholy*
gee, and to think i was so looking forward to this break sheyt! now that i've actually thought about what i'm gonna do, i'd rather just go to school :[ fuck sial! lannnn-tern lah! eh yah, Lantern Festival coming right?! or is it Mooncake Festival? or both?! siala!

one more exam and freaking-boring-cuz-i-no-money [i always no money! haha] hols is here. hopeless daughter-of-a-not-bitch! i duwanna work...but eh!!! any of you all got any slots for work text me uh! i need dosh mann!

i've always wanted to try "food tasting" job but dunno whether got anot?! easy right?! eat eat eat oni. skali they let you taste shit you oso eat. what sia! *haiz...* if i really got nothing, then i guess i'm going back to being a couch potato ~__~ omg...what a life. some more i dunno many people who're celebrating birthdays this month. fuck sia. no parties :[
cannot hang with or even depend on Arch cuz he's laying out all his fucking pay on his fucking yet another $500 phone bill. OMG. i'm soooo pooor. *this is a total misery*

H-E-L-P leiiii....
boring uh!

"you can't always "not do" something just cuz you think it's wrong even if you wanna do it...

no one can stop you from how and what you feel...don't hold back...don't be afraid...say it..."

shit! i thirst for margarita right now...

randomness

sam: "hey,if u have a wish...wat would it be?"
me: "i wish to fulfill my parents' dream before i die BEFORE them"

it's so hard to keep up because so many things happen, even in a second!

i miss the good times...coming late for school, gett'n caught by papa Raj; sending me for detention then gett'n lectured by papa Hoe next for comin late ~_-, hiding from Helmet principal Ms Chan for my fucked up attire. i wanna be in that classroom, seated with bugger; drinkin nescafe and eating burger, lazing around, head always glued on the table [sleeping], fucking around with the teachers who still love us even if we were that notorious nut-case bunch, copying answers from those guai-guai friends, strolling around the corridor looking for trouble or just laughing at those freaks below who are just making a fool outta themselves, locking the teachers out so we can't have tests! being sent out by mrs beh for not doing her homework, annoying Malathi with my fucked up hair and tucked out shirt and short skirt and ankle socks, gettin caught by my ever favvy Papa Raj for never wearing school badge, sitting at those tables outside class doing our revision; which would later be channeled to chattin, listenin to ah chui's bad day with her other classes and how relieved she is to be finally in our class,

ouh shit i can go on and on and on on and on and on!

anyways, pardon my obscene lang for all my posts. i know you should be thinkin, "this girl uh, her blogskin all about God, so Holy and all, but see her language...all got 'fuck' 'fuck' one!" hahaha! weel, i grew up saying it! just never at home :)!

"don't be afraid to say you miss me just cuz you think it's wrong!"

i love you, my Lord, my God

what can be better than spending your day with your loved ones. in His Home. with your clan!
just wanna thank God for celebrating this delightful day with my dear folks and my beloved brother, Arch! there's no occasion but we are all thankful we have spent this entire day as a whole fam, because we hardly get a hold of Arch who's never home even when he gets the chance to and has never stayed home for even 24hours in a whole week [if you count the whole 7days]

it's a "miracle" we attended mass as a fam [it's been months ~_= ] and the feeling was terrific!

Holding Mom and Dad's hands in the cab; listening to their natterings about our future plans was something i missed!

Arch and i shared some zany stuffs that we wanna do. thing is, we both wanted to do the same things! lol! nifty!

after mass, Mom and Dad wanted to go home but i insisted on eating out since it's been ages since our last fam day out. since i was craving for something cheesy, i decided we just go for PizzaHut's Cheesy Bites Fondue since it's the only cheesiest food i could think of at that point...

[any place with cheesy food y'all can reco? and no pasta sheyt nor cheese cakes cuz they never satisfy me! i want a place! not just cheesy food!]

anyway, they agreed cuz they couldn't make up their minds...tsktsktsk...

Arch shared his yet another action-packed experience at Peninsula the other day when he fought with five mat-baju-fucking-ketat-siol guys. only two actually; the other three backed out after the other two got slammed. a security guard witnessed and called the police and let my brother and Brendz go since he saw that the mat-ketat-budaks-like-kental-only wanna look for trouble. wakakaka. whaddahell. my folks thinks that Arch has never been jailed for his fights. *sigh* if they only knew...how sad. you should really lie low lah brudder! as much as i enjoy seeing live actions, i'd rather see you chilling your ass off outside with B

than chillin your arse off in a cell with big gay boys, lol. you mofo you.

after dinner, Dad and Arch went to do some groceries for his outfield while Mom and i were shopping for her clothes. i took one basket of chocolates for myself since my fucking friends say i've thinned! even Arch said that! Mom and Dad as well; even teasing me about

the ex not lookin after me ~_=.

so FINE! i'm gonna FATTEN myself up and show you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and you! *hmpppffftttzzzz* lalala [rolls eyes]... dah lah kau...salakau...

okaye, i'd like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize [and i so fucking mean it!] for criticizing many many, numerous, loads of, countless people and maybe even non-living things! i know it's wrong but couldn't help it then. but but i've learned to control myself from lashing because i don't wanna get karma lah sia! no, but really. from now on, i will not do that. :)

and so, for God has forgiven us all, so shall thee forgive me!

goodnight and much love TO me FROM y'all.
feel free to text me and say you miss me cuz i know you do. lol!
we should really chill asap!
i'm oddly in high spirits and even the people i hate won't ruin my mood.

that's how weird i fuckin am. tahha.

"criticism is the cheapest form of boasting"

- Father Edmund Chong

talala

emmm, okaye, i don't know what's worse?
being open or being surreptious about that?

ever since i came clean about my ex-boyfriend to my folks, they've been inquisitively questionin me about it. *ugh* that is why i have never told em about my past relationships; not that any of em were serious; PUPPY LOVE! i initially even hesitated opening up about this latest failure [which i consider not serious too?!] from the start cuz i didn't want em to "interrogate" me with every single day that passed by; "what's the scoop? what's the scoop?!" ~_=

then i start to think, maybe they're just excited because they think that this is my "FIRST" ever to have a courtship and me being their baby girl, it is their "duty" and of course they being my folks, have the authority to do so. i so totally dig what they're doing but of course on my side, even if i dig em, i still hate it!

see, even if we live in a modern world now, and courtship-sheyt is sooo yesterday, i would be more thrilled than ever to go through it than to have it the modern way.

call me a conformist but old-school style is still the "artistic way" of winnin a girl's heart and what makes the girl's heart go

thump, clang, wham, chink, bang, ding-dong, rat-a-tat-a-tat! lol!

yep, for the past few years i've learnt and grown so much from all these sheyt that in the end, all those went down the drain when i got b-linded. tahha!

at least i learned my lesson...

well, not the end of the world, many more fishes to catch!

i want a clownfish; Nemo or a dolphin!

anyway, Hi!

the undisputed unifed 5/1

hey hey!
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY day day day day...
lol! i ditched Dover's celebration to go to CDSS's...
my dear kambing overslept! but i was still the last one to arrive at the bustop...*diao*
first person i saw was [my first HS bf for 6days!],jonathan. then i spotted Nafeesah and Aishah[putih]...dayyyym i miss Naf! she's grown bigger! so cute...like bear liddat! haha! kiddin'...
the fucking new principal didn't wanna let us in to the hall; no colored/highlighted hair and slippers =_-" well, us being the "undisputed defiant batch in the history of CDSS", sneaked our way in, while some stayed in the canteen waiting patiently, and the others went to complain. the security guard oso like fuck liddat! act so big but actually like one small f-ly liddat! knnbclj! cikgu Roz and papa Hoe tried to save us...but to no avail. coupla minutes later, they allowed those in proper [although not totally proper] attire in. but in the end, those "rejected" 'uns also got in... wtf?! they so wasted their time lah; averting us...like we even care 'bout your order-sheyt liddat. *waleooo*
the concert was okaye. i had crazy fun; screamin our asses off while almost everyone was lookin up and finding who the fuck was makin the shrieks. [me, Dee and Nunu the most] too bad Sab wasn't there! i was dissin' someone related...emmm, hiiiii...hahaha. wtf!
after concert, i got to chat with Elaine and Nissiel. *sigh* sad lah, people change...instead of filos gett'n together, they backstab one another...wtf! oh well, sheyt happ'ns...you'll be okaye my friend!
emmm, we went to meet papa Raj, the first teacher we snapped with, followed by cikgu Roz then Ah Chui. met and greeted papa Hoe, Mdm Fatimah, Liang, Terrence, Beh, Viswa [the penguin] and Roy...the longest chat was with ah Chui...we even squeezed some gossip in our convo about Malathi! the never-ending-not-only-naggy-but-squeaky-no-wonder-still-a-single teacher in school! OMFFG!? *whoops!?*

Sab, Nunu, Dee, Nurdin and I lunched and chilled at Causeway Point. on our way down, Sab's shoelaces got stuck on the escalator so the people behind were like panickin [or some sort]. there was this fucked up lady [with her small kids], dumb enough to even forget her fucking manners and was so self-centered, being inconsiderate and all; just kept bellowing "fasteeeerrrr, fasterrr" all because she was afraid to fall! omfg! like hello? my friend's already stuck and all you cared about is you falling down and gett'n stepped on?! wtf! i was behind sabby so i too was struggling to get out but i was struggling more on helping her and making sure she doesn't fall. call yourself a mother! motherfucker...i yelled back at her and thennnn back to normal...haha..lanjiao..we chilled outside CP, enjoying the breeze and doin some catching up and talking.

Thanks to Abang Nurdin for the company back. Gentleman abang.

BBQ! at yeelyn/yeewon's place...
before heading to the bbq, had to do something i've been longing to do few weeks ago. =_-"
fast forward>> while waiting for Sab n Nunu at Gombak station, i tought i saw Thiru! true enough when we reached, Thiru was there! yey!!! he so totally felt guilty after whining at him the night before. haha! i knew he wouldn't let me down! i'm ecstatic! YiJuan turned up too! *sian* thought u sick then no need see your face liao! lol...jk!
i was so stoked just seeing everyone! sad didn't get to really bond with the rest cuz we were just so caught up with our own cliques. how

sad :[ but still glad :]...Nunu's BBRRREEAAASSST! was the talk of the girls, at least most of us. [all started with ah chui noticing it] Nunu's gone fatTER...*whoops?* and i've shrank thinNER. [anorexic YOUR fucking asses!] well, at least thank you to Ping Sian for saying i look sexy...haha! at least she never say anorexic lorrr...haha! wtf! i don't like to throw away my food just for the figure. like how stupid. i eat small portions though [for those who were asking how i kept my fig] lol. klah i'll stop! don't roll eyes redi lah. later drop!
i got to eat 3 chicken wings, 3 hotdogs, 3 fishballs, 2crabsticks and some snacks. slow cook lah! but at least it was better than last year's! Jie Ying was really very nice to cook for us and send food to us even. i love her! the guys then wanted to play soccer but the gals wanted Cap's Ball so being the UNITED class, 5/1 '06, they all decided to play CB [*wapiak!* Cap's Ball lah! not CiBai hor!] *class spirit y'all* but like fuck lah! guys against gals. obviously the guys won lah! gong!

but danng! mem'ries! good times...
let me rap this up with
= a big THANK YOU to y'all! for organizing this.
= HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM LIN FENG aka WICKED AURA...
= great seeing ah Chui the ah lian teacher/friend again.

[she's cute when she's stout.]
= glad to have met Ros and Nunu and the rest again.
= thank you to GLENN and SHYUKUR for the wonderful BIG presents...

i like the vibrating spongebob pillow and the BIG mug [perfect for a small ger]!
= i love 5/1 to bits!
more to come bebeh!!!

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY

*phew*

--edits--
just as today's about to end, dad had to push it!
i don't know why he makes such a big deal out of me sleeping in the late afternooon/early evenin. im fagged and you know i'm used to sleeping late! omffg! like im still his baby! wait~ i AM still his baby! hehe! well, i napped in their room cuz mine's in a total freakin mess! [dunav to go further;

it's undaztood-ed redi! -_-"]. Mommzy was wakin me up for dinner but i was too sleepy to get my tush up...til dad came in to change and found me still snoozing..so Dad just had to carp at me! *ugh!* even over dinner...*sheesh* so i was quiet throughout...til five minutes later, he tickled me...and then we're okaye again! [he can never bear being mad at me for long] lol. *that's our sulkiness...* but but! after we watched our teleseryes, he had to annoy me again!, with "how are you and..." then "joan, look at your names..." then mom came to the rescue! "enough already lah, it's already over and you still have to bring it up..."

~~
tomorrow's Teacher's Day...i'm ditchin Dover's celebration and go back to CDSS to meet 5/1 fam. weeee! wait~ darling Sab's gonna be sad i left her...awwww! if not fer that SC! you'd be with me and the rest! *ugh*
the upshot of NAFA's here! daaaym! bodyaches...OMG! puhleeeze! i duwanna go back CDSS walking like one old woman but but but...i'm really feeling the pain larrr.
--edits--

after all the sleepless nights and the stress that came with it, i'm finally able to have a break...at least for awhile...
one exam, three tests down, one to go! go Jojo!!! jia you!!!

i'm soooo fagged! MME test yesterday, hahaha, chicken feet, small fly, i close one eye siol! haha, confident sangat la i...okaye per! chiiii...cken! that debarment sheyt was just to scare us sia!

in the end, we all can take the test. nahhhhbeh! good thing i forged, if not, i kena nag! siala!

i slept at 1800, woke up at 0000, slept at 0300 and finally roused at 0600...
NAFA was okaye...at least i think i managed to hit the passing grade uh, i think i'll pass...lol... *confident*
many many much much THANKS to Dave!!! for being blurrrr...instead of running SEVEN fuckin rounds for our 2.4km, i only ran SIX! so that saved me alot! if not i think i fail redi sia! walaoweeiii...i ran with my ipod to keep me focused [like in my own world, ye know...] but i actually just didn't wanna hear the cheers [and jeers?] hahaha.
then i finished running, Sisi told Xin Long i like kewl liddat run/walk with ipod oni...wakakaka...
could've done better, but due to me being too lazy to be lazy...i got the following results: [ ] = passing

situps > 32 [26]
SBJ > 160? cm [?]
inclined pullups > 22 [22]
sit&reach > 36cm [?]
shuttle run > 11.6 sec [13+]
2.4km > 15.48 mins [16.30min]

message to my darling YiJuan, get well and all the best for your NAFA [if you still have to do it?! skali exempted liao lei! HOPE NOT... :P]

anyway, *THIS JUST IN!!!!*
i got a new crush! hahaha! i dunno what class uh! actually i dun care oso! haha. i saw him in the hall doin NAFA oso. lalala. joanne, joanne. tsktsktsk. lerrrr, at least i oni until liddat right!? not until i do something like one minah liddat! fuck sia! that wan all very despo la. i oni see see, never do do. u know u know?! u dunno u shaddap! im so sure you all also liddat! wakakaka.

just now the SC were rehearsing for tomorrow's Teacher's Day event. Wahh, all the minahs dance dance sia. lol. okaye lah, but typical minahs...! hahaha. tsktsktsk. ouh well, we can never avoid such things. whereever the hell you go in singapore will find their kind one lah! i like their music and dance steps only...not their dance and the way they gelek. wakakaka. i'm sooo just kidding...NOT... *bleah* but they are good people anyway. they're only labeled as minahs even if they aren't cuz of how they dress...hahaha. whathefuck right?! i know. haha. i think they purposely lah! so people scared of them. lol. no offense to anyone hor! just my thoughts. haha. my blog anyway...right?! you no like, get the fuck off lah! hahaha.

i sound like i'm looking for trouble redi. skali i go school, all the minahs come after me sia! wakakaka. but too bad, Dover no minahs uh...good! i loooiiike. wahh, liddat then skali i go out of my house all the minahs from dunno where come find me. lol. kla...i can face their fucked up faces. lol. whatthehell.

i got to chit chat wet wet with sabby today! haha!

im sooo singlish today. teehee!

thank you

Thank you

The past few days, I’ve been struggling to think positively about this failed relationship. But today, I finally have agreed and realized that I should be thankful for so many things that have happened in this whole period of time with you.

I admit I have been blinded by love so much so that I’ve neglected so many things; so many people, especially. Before, I was reluctant to share my happiness as well as sadness [BGR] with people; particularly, friends. I was never open about such things because I didn’t trust people enough and I thought they weren’t worth my trust. Watching my friends go through so many failed relationships, and all I did was shook my head and call ‘em idiots. Because they were dumb enough to give in to their partners, not knowing that they were only harming themselves; although they already knew, they still did it anyway. They’d ask for advices but would disregard ‘em. That was the reason why I’ve always hated and avoided such convos with my girl friends. What’s the use of askin for advices when you ignore ’em and would be dumb enough to repeat the same fucking mistake!? Stupid right!? And then I told myself, “I would never put myself into that situation! Ever!”

Well, who the fuck was I to utter such things? Where am I right now?! What did I just go through? Didn’t I just go through [if not the same,] similar situation? I am taking this opportunity to ask for forgiveness to those people I’ve criticized. People tend to be judgmental so I’m only human…

I thank you because you made me experienced this. You made me experience the pain that my friends went through; the pain I thought I’d never go through. I realized now that it’s NOT enough to just imagine or try to be in somebody’s shoes. You have to experience it; only then can you prove to people you’re what or who you say you are and what you will and won’t do. “Actions speak louder than Words”…
I thank you for making me realize that what I thought I would not do, I can and will do. I’ve neglected my friends, close friends, parents, studies and most importantly; my principles and God. The whole time I was with him, I actually got tempted to do [things I promised never to do] as well as forget many things; things that have been my pillars of strength and personality. I couldn’t believe that I could turn away from them all just for someone who isn’t worthy. Hypocrisy is what I’ll call myself. A letdown to myself, my surroundings; family, friends and most especially, God. [I keep repeating myself! Hahaha]

You see, you may be going “Why the hell is Joanne writing such post?! So mawkish. Like as if this is the biggest hardship she’s been through…”
Well, I was never open to people, a restricted person I‘ve been. I didn’t want to show my weaknesses, I guess. But after High School, I’ve grown a little and I’ve learned to open up more. I write it down if not verbally. [Don’t go further if you it doesn’t interest you…]

Over the past few years, I’ve been in many relationships all of which no seriousness were involved. Why? Peer pressure I’d say. Seeing friends having “many boyfriends, so I also must have lah!”…yea, I was like that. Til Sec3, where I matured so much that all those stopped. I thought, “that isn’t my life, that isn’t me…I don‘t have to follow people just to say I’m in!” In fact, having many boifs was never an “in” thing…purely just to show off how “in demand/pretty” you are with boys…whatever?! Hahaha, how dumb… If you lived here, you’d understand what I mean…

Anyway, to calculate since Sec3, 2004, this is the third person I can say I really fell for[really liked, not love]. But this is the only person that made me go beyond my control. It may have not been that extreme for that person, but to compare, it is. I now understand why I have a friend who always talks about the same topic over and over again. I feel you now. I apologize I was insensible before.

Thank you because without this lesson, I wouldn’t have learned the importance of love and always having God in you. I wouldn’t have realized my mistakes too. I wouldn’t have realized that it is not always love. I wouldn’t have realized that it is NEVER love; [not at this age, not for me at least.] Really, it’s just attraction, attraction with feelings. To those who are “loving” now, you don’t have to agree/disagree with me. I’m not asking for opinions but if you want to, go ahead. But do Respect mine as I will respect yours.
I have to love myself again, before I can love someone else.

Having been with many different boys, I’ve seen many different types of guys, many are the same, and only a few stand out. Not that those really count because they were of puppy love but still, you can somehow observe things. To think of it all, I’ve never been in a serious relationship til my last two[i forgot who, lol]. Yet this is the worst.

Hate me, love me, but all I can say is you have underestimated me, in the kind of person I am.

lets get DOWN and derrtehh

sup sup oiiii
teehee!

"you today so happy?"
i was pretty loud today. it wasn't the maximum level yet and already they are telling me i'm hyper...teehee. no freakin idea why! but it just comes. emmm, it's either the environment, or the mood, or the whateverr?

anyway, glad to have made 'em laugh. class is really gett'n boring without jokes around. if there are, [which mostly comes from Es], they'd be lame ~_~" ...
"...and it has been declared, CLASS is HUMDRUM without Joanne!..."
hahha. okaye, i'm being conceited! well, it's how you'd remember me...bring it to your grave yah?! okaye! great!

~~
some funny, waggish, sidesplitting, jaw-locking, muscle-cramping, eye-tearing,

non-stop-hits-of-laughter-thing happened today! hahahahahhahaha! fuck! i couldn't stop, and still can't stop, and probably won't stop laughing!!!
*JOANNE! BEHAAAAAVE* *ahem!*
okaye, got ahold of myself already.
well, my very friendly, unintentionally-comical friend did a stunt that i think no one else could have ever done or would ever wanna do [the person didn't want to, anyway]

*whoops, something just came outta my nose while laugh-typing this, ewww!*

while waiting outside to be let inside the auditorium, we saw a round couch. so i raced for it with friend A, not knowing that the person won't just take a seat.
sooo friend A jumps or rather, dives for the couch and lands nicely. friend B sees friend A and decides to land on friend A. friend B dives for friend A and lands nicely too, EXCEPT that friend A turned [to stand up i guess]...

soooo friend B's destination didn't end on friend A...but...

took a detour and ended on the floor...HARD!

see, this friend of mine never intends to really be funny

but somehow turns out to be one.

The stupid thing is that i didn't help that person out. *uuuggghhh*! i soo hate myself!

anyways, i'm just thankful to have this person around, because we have

gotten closer, [if not for you, me]...through thick and thins, we've been together!

not so lah, but can say lah horrr...lol. this person never fails to make me laugh even with the slightest thing. my sense is humour uh...tsktsktsk...

anyway, i'm serious when i said i'm thankful i've gotten closer to you ;)

always out to help people! i looooiiike!

well, you'll be fine from that fall you had. be careful okaye?! and i will be there the next time, and not just stand/sit there being all unfriendly...
~~

i had Aye Thi whoops i mean 80 for my CMO test :)
pending to take MME [the module that i inadvertently, but Nelson deiberately vetoed me from!] and CMO exam. *gee whiz*

**Nobody can make me INFERIOR without MY consent**
nga loe ma!

oi

hey hey!

okaye, some of you are wondering whose blog was i talking about

[that i recently have subscribed to]...well, it's kaye's...yea...i remember when i first met her. she was so friendly and all smiles and all...hung out a few times. but with one misunderstanding, things didn't go well. lol. so yeap! but she's a good writer i tell you. hi kaye!

lalala. coincidentally, glenn is back! hahaha, MIA larr. ye know, just when things hasn't been goin well, here he comes. but whatever glenny. you still suck! haha! no excuses. and and he doesn't even know that TJR's been hospitalised! and i thought he only stopped communicating with me! until he found out about TJR. lol. if he hadn't read YJ's blog...*sheesh*

oh yes, and i'll see you on friday for Teacher's Day and 5/1 BBQ!

and my GIFT!!!

anyways, belated happy birthday Brendz! [24/08/07]

tsktsktsk

Hey hey!
friday...
Emm, i left home at 8 when my class was supposed to start at 830. lol
gladly, Ms Jo was caught in a jam and would meet us at 9...like gee?! our next lesson starts at 930! well anyways, she cancelled it too so yeap! great?! *sigh*

out of all the lessons we were supposed to have with her, we can like count the number of times she turned up ~_~ [poor-est attendance, tsktsktsk] we all still like her nevertheless.

played baminton with Aye Thee? [i duno how to spell her name], then Sze Min and Ting Long later joined...lalala. then went to chill with the guys at the gym. YJ, Pearlyn and I were also workin out,

though YJ and i were disturbing the guys more, haha.

i got to play xbox!!! mann, 's been ages! great! then watched movie, then tv. then compueter.

so yeah, my eyes can never live without facing the monitor...tsktsktsk. if not the comp, it's the TV.

hahh! but ouh well, good things do come out of it anyway, hehe. what uh? i also dunno...lol, what only!

vision

test...today...siala!!! easy siaaaa!!! i "open-book"! *cheater* as always! lol...
nola...i did my homework okaye! so you jealous people out there, GODAI!

ahakz...did i mention i got 86.3% for cisco test on monday? okaye, i just did =p
it's not that high but yea yea, whatever...lol


~~
hmmm, i don't know...it's pretty daunting...when you have some kind of a special gift...it's nice and cool and all but it can also be a burden if you do not know how to use it and you just keep it to yourself. most probably because what you just saw freaked you out; and telling the others, or the one closest to you, or even to the person who was in your vision would further fluster both you and the person. i don't know if i can handle that if i were to have that gift. i'd most probably just do my best to look out for that person and save 'em without 'em knowing. then they'd either be thankful or they'd find you weird and call you weird...oh well, i'd rather be called weird than having the whole world know my gift [owh wait, i already am weird, hehe]. who knows! some scary people might take me away and isolate me and use me with things they wanna know [in the future], you know!? i don't know...lol...

well, i'm sure there will be a time when you're all set to help the world. most especially your loved ones. *sigh* i wonder..If he had only known how to use it earlier would he have saved his Mom. i've been longing to see and feel my Gramms, Gramps, Unc, and the rest of my relatives who have passed on yet i haven't seen nor felt any of their presences...maybe they think i'm not ready to see them yet. sometimes i really wanna see spirits but i don't think i can take it if i see the bad 'uns...i only wanna see good 'uns...cuz the bad 'uns don't look good...lol...*be careful what you ask for now, jojo* hehe, yeayea, i know...just a thought. but i guess it really is hard for those with special gifts...

we all have our own thang...so yeap! go do your thang cuz JC...you really moved me. well at least you saw her again; and maybe knowing that she's happy now will help you and your fam to move on with life? knowing that she's just there, watching over us...together with Gramms and all.
~~


Uhhuh! so take good care of your loved ones.

[like she always say;]
fighting:)