lets just work it up ;)

hi...
okaye, let me be a lil serious here...heehee...[okaye, the cheekiness cant be helped]

so yeah,
when jojo found out on thurs, about the class shes gon be in, the second name she looked for was leileis...
iunno, and not that i didnt care about the rest, but i guess coz hes the only person that kept telling me that we should be in the same class this year.
and when i didnt see his name, i got a lil down; and i was kinda wondering the whole day, whether or not to let him know, or for him to just find out on his own...[emm, is that considered as selfishness?] i just really didnt know how to tell him; i mean i myself was sad, so twas kinda hard to even tell you myself...sigh. and yeah, i was already missing my moments with my leiling; my going-home buddy, his lending of fleece, waiting-buddy, etc. bottomline: hes one of the few people i kinda deeply depended on almost everything the whole school year. and to weigh it in, hes done the most for me in school, heehee. awwwww...bet youll be youve been tearing by since junnow. haha.


but of course, on the contrary, i was happy to see the rest of the 1D in the same class. emm, weeee for that... "weeeee..."
ive got a whole list of classmates to thank for. but emmm, alot laaa. then by the time you start reading the next word youll be like "zzzzz"-ing already... ~_o budden later i dont mention your the names, you gimme face lidat...walenn. dilemma siooo... aiyah. HECK ar. as long as im really thankful for all the help you guys have given the class; most especially, jojo. and i really mean it from the bottom of my broken fixed heart, okaye... deh...

aaaanyways, regarding this case, im really hoping that the people who said they wanna help leiling out, will really give time to help him out.

but you know what, like i said, if this doesnt work, then at least we did our best; we fought, and the only thing we can do, is accept what we are given, and even if we may not like it, lets just make something out of what we are "assigned"/"dumped" to. and who knows, we may actually be better at that than what we thought we could be better at. this may be our path to success; destiny. sometimes after fighting for something, we realize we cannot force ourselves in some-thing/where/place that we dont belong to. He may have better plans for us. trust Him. this goes out to those appealing and generally...everybody [lets all apply this in our lives]


and after all that...
"hyeaw baibeyy"
teehee...

high with anger and excitement ~_O ?

im feeling
fuckingfuckedupangrymadshittypissedagitatedannoyedfuriouscrossedinfuriatedlividirateheatedoutragedirritated...
and i havent the slightest idea why... :|

fucking cheeken ar dey!!! i just feel like throwing my frustration at any of you...
like...just beat the rap out of you...
like really trash your face with any thing...until i cant recognize you.
geez la..i sound so the mofreaking cruel la...
wtf...

sorry ar...lol.


omg! wait...i think i have a reason why!!! that
motherfuckingfuckfuckershitpissfuckcuntcocksuckermotherfuckertitsfartterdandtwat
CHIKOPEH shiaaaa!!! [inside the train, fyi]
i wasnt even wearing skimpily AT ALL!!! and the way he motherfucking stared was like he was stripping my clothes off with the his naked eyeS...*gross*
naaaaarbeiii! i almost wanted to slap and kick his fucking face and ballsanddickies! i wonder if he even had any! its like !@#$%^(*&^%$...seriously...geeeez!
ouh...but at least i cussed at him loudly and pointed the magic finger...*dadddaaaa*
laaaa, wait til something grows IN your motherfucking eyes. heeehee!
*thanks dada for covering? me and cussing at him too*



and after all that...that really isnt the reason...i just felt like cussing...hahaha!!!
but yeah, that inci really did remind me that its part of the cussing, haha, buhgeez..


okaye, the real thing is...
im just pretty fucked up that im unable to do my freakin resposibilities at home :(
ALL the FOUR of us are really so freaking busy we dont even have time to wash the dishes, hang the clothes, clean the house; especially my room. and its mom whos gotta do all these on her off day; today [thursday, for this week].
and the fucking thing is my cousin just gave birth, schools starting on monday, relatives coming over here for their summer vacation which means all the four of us will be so freakingbloody busy attending to them i bet well hardly even talk unless of course asked to do chores or run errands.
siao bo! lidis how to concentrate on studies? i so totally suck like shit already...
i havent even done my self-project! like FUCK ar! kambingbabicheekenbeefturtlefrogliontigermonkey...i-dunno-what-oreadi!
sigh. if only im given superpowers...all the powers of every hero made up in this world. wooohooo!
all but anything about death. heeehee.
okaye, im like getting sofa king lame.

ok larrrr, BYE ar!

foooh...

i can already envisage my getting sick from fatigue-ness/fatigue-ity/fatigue-ation, lol.
these past few weeks has already been a tiring one, let alone this comin weekS - its gonna probably be a hell one.

and note! that this isnt just a sitting-down-cramming-your-head-off-the-whole-day thing,
its a moving-about-with-freaking-full-energy-all-day-long thing.
its not just focused on one event...but four - for me.
and those are my commitments, that doesnt yet include my commitments here at home; chores and my room, my personal time off; chilling, watching TV, eating, going online, family; and of course, academically, my studies.
and all of that, can mean "back-to-2or3hours-of-sleep-a-day".

hmmm, the next few weeks youll probably call me an "anorexic emaciated zombie".
my lifes gonna be like this for at least a month more. hell-week month
like *&%^$#@$&*%^$#@$%^&*^%$#, seriously.
and the thing i dread is, cramming so much in just a freakingfuckingasstardshitpiss week [this week] that when the day comes, everything we worked hard for, will just go down the s-melly drain sewer! sheytzo...it better not happen.

m-ass-age mee

updateyyy!
jojos in pain...muscle ache-ish! i cannot bend down anymore. :(
yesterdays practice without warming up plus usin the gym equipments even for a while did me baddde...
awww...

anyways, ive been workin out since mawnin til now, heehee. so yeshhaaa, im bathing in sweat! yeah babyyy! okaye, check back later! kwang kwang kwang!

ouh and i hope saturday wont rain...

fooly

BOOOOO!
first of all,
belated gweetings to sam, cuzzie jen, cuzzie john paul and leiling, though ive already greeted em.
advance gweetings to cuzzie adrianne, cha, nunu and whoever is gonna celebwate their birfday...sheeez...

jojo went for dance pwactice junnow...the-then she went for her appointment at Bonafides and
cut-ted her precious ugly hair...yeah babby...ive been bonafide by the one and only bonafide Bonfides. [wahsehh. emmm, wonder if the guy complained from the perspiring smell i had, heehee. but i bet not lah, coz i didnt smell that bad! uhh, right, right?]
well, uh, anyways, of course, my hair is d-ry and rough because it all started...once upon a time, long long time ago, when i was in pri4, i started putting Wella on my hair everyfreakingday that even if there was no Wella, id look for gel...up until pri6, then sec2 when i made my hair jappy and "gatsby...gatsby...gatsby...gatsby..." wax came, used that evewiday til...i dont know when. but i know sec3-5 or 4-5 i was wax-free already...lol. and then...
TADDAAAAA....my hair became like this now! awwww, poor me :( but its okaye.

anyway, wanted to take bday boy leilei out for kfc but i was just dead beat from all the dancing and the walking and the bloodyfuckingfuckingbloody standing - all the way, nahbeiii...[i still have weak bones you know! and yea, i already drank milk, so shuup...] but mommy called me for pizzaing instead, so i had to push my leiling thought aside, haha.

aaanyway, i fooled my sammy just now! huahauhua...dumbass...weeeee. im shoooo happeeee...hes the first one though. maybe ill continue tomorrow. huahuahua.

to ewibordy, happy apwil fools' day
and HAPPY FOOOLING, foools...

blind item

heehee!!!
i got some dirt on someonetwo...
okaye lemme dish the dirt...
im delighted to know that the one i once had a beef pork[lol] with, is a real buttwipe. hah.
well, apparently, after having found my long lost chilhood friend, and realising that shes in the same school as my "crony", we had a lil chat about mah girl...and her abettor sidekick.

after sharing my "sad" [lol] story, she told me that...
: the lass may be neglecting the prize she repossessed,
: the freaking friend is very intrusively inquisitive, plastic, and was once commented as a hanger-on [huuuwaaaat???? tsktsktsk],
: both are unpredictable; you dont really know whats goin on in their puny lil smart brains! [one moment they want this, next they dont...and theyll prolly just dump em like theyre some kind of a boring game theyve gotten sick of... -_-"]
: and lastly, she does not like them at all...

so with that, im quite cognizant. its no wonder why i called her a tramp...hah. and im probably not gonna take it back. thank you :)

the other side of "lol"

apparently...
all this while that ive been using the abbrev "lol",
my younger cousin thought ive been saying a bad word, shortcut of "ulol" - which means "idiot" in tagalog...
until ive explained what it actually meant. sheez. no wonder hes been like, "your bulletins funny, full of 'lol's..." and all i replied to him was "lol..."
haha...lol....
cheeewheeez. thats like uber ____. lol. ~_-"

imprudent asswipe.

i just wish he's snap out of it and stop causing snags...
seeing how you are, itd probably take a miracle for you to change.
sigh.

hurt by gluttony

just to make it VERY clear,

the only person/s that can really damage your heart, mind and soul, is/are the one/s you love...and loves you



and



money was and is NEVER the root of evil...
or all evil...
greed is.
the greed for it is...

darkarms

awww, poor jojo.
jojos still suffering from the stinging pain of the sunburn wherein was only exposed for like a total of five minutes... :( and is so forgetful she scrubbed her arms dearly and the aftermath...the stinging pain, duh...dumbass...
and the emmm...bloody hard hit of leilei with that foam staff...whatever you call it, on my left ear. IHY for that! lol.
and and and...the fulu...with that slimy greenish, yellow-greenish and green-yellowish phlegm.
and also the bloodshot panda eyes...

awwwww.....

but maybe when i get my new toy tomorrow i wont whine so much...then again, i doubt it!

but i said MAYBE right!? dumbass...okaye! tomorrow wear socks...tomorrow oni! ahakz! and selfish jojo MAY NOT lend it to people! bleeeeeek!

happy easter

“The Lord's triumph”

He has risen! —Jesus has risen.
He is not in the sepulchre. —Life has over­come death.






May we never die through sin; may our spiritual resur­rection be eternal. —And before this decade is over, you have kissed the wounds on His feet..., and I, more daring —because I am more a child—, have placed my lips upon His open side.

walkin on sunshine

okaye...
boooo!
laaaaa...

mary had a lil lamb..lil lamb..lil laaamb...
mary had a lil lamb..nanana nanaaaaaaa....
-end-

okaye! kwangkwangkwang.
im high! so high i can reach the sky..and the outer space..and the idunnowhatsoutsidethatanymore. heaven maybe? but isnt heaven like..ahh..fegeddit!

hyea hyea! me soooo happeh!
but its just gonna be between you, you and i. uhhuh!
thanks many many much much jiejie! wo ai nie lar! lol.

anyhway...hyea, couldve been waaaaay funner if all came! as for me, myself, and jojo, they were rather surprised i actually turned up! hah. as always. -_-"

{ouh well, i just wanna enjoy these lil moments before we close the chapter of year1 in dover. hyea, we may not be as close as damnrightweshouldsticktogetherforeverandever, but you know, sometimes small gestures of sharing answers, food, thoughts, turning up for gatherings, and having smalltalks already make a hiii-uge impact in our lives. ahhh, lovely.
well, i didnt have fun to the fullest of the energy i have s-tored in my body but i damnright enjoyed the company of these people ive grown to appreciate and love for the past months ive continued my journey of life in dow-vah [dover]. if not for my f-lu and the many lil reasons, i wouldve worn something more comfy. hah. ouh well, blame it on the weather - perhaps!}

i got to: go there together with my leiling which whom ive missed [we go home together from school almost everyday].
i got to: see the faces ive missed, again [in class].
i got to: put dark tan on merv. [whos so conscious about his body, yet kept taking off his top ^.o]
i got to: be darker than ever - again. [no one brought sunblock at all...coz we were all expecting A someone to bring one...lol.]
i got to: see how bloodyfreaking deep dads project is...
i got to: make pidoz and leilei laugh at me and watch me eat s-lowly, again. [well, actually its more like i ate at a neutral speed but the food just didnt seem to lessen...so hyea!]
i got back my JEANSes! [i am howe'er - an unsatisfied mofreaking customer who didnt like what she saw cuz it wasnt what she expected! *lol*fierceme*]

aaanyway, sentosa...suck la...its like...you can only go to certain places cuz the rest is all under constaruction! waleooo. must wait til 2010 then nice ready...wait til can die ah! ahakz. shu'up...

Feria VI

“It is accomplished”

Marvel at Mary's courage: at the foot of the Cross, with the greatest of human sorrows--there is no sorrow like her sorrow--filled with fortitude. And ask her for that same strength, so that you too can remain beside the Cross.






Love sacrifice; it is a fountain of interior life. Love the Cross, which is an altar of sacrifice. Love pain, until you drink, as Christ did, the very dregs of the chalice.

baby shower

hey hey...



gee...past few days, the weathers been...
its makin me...
laaaaa...
enough can?
i just wanna enjoy my summer vacation! better not rain on saturday...

anyyyyway, couzin Vecs givin birth soon, and is throwing a Baby Shower for her babygirl, samantha mariolle. yep! ive got a new sammy now, lol. and the theme, PINK. :| omg. im just gon paint my body and hair pink...that should be enough so no hassle on what to wear. lol. okaye, not funny. well cuz i was thinkin more of like red or orange. pinks just too...common...and too... girly. ewww. lol.

the only thing is...i hate family-friends parties because my folks wouldnt go and would use brother and i me...as a proxy...but since this is a family party and its a baby shower, [which means only mom and i get to go,] i have a hunch shes not gonna.
well, a lil background info...haha. eversince secondary life started for jojo, my folks have also retracted from parties - and has somewhat become the VIPs of parties [hosts and guests would feel lucky enough if my folks showed up]. theyd give excuses just to not go [see, theyre a lot worse than i used to be]. and mom especially, if dad doesnt go, shell damn right not go. geee. like whats this? a package deal?
sooo what these clever people would do, is to use our home as the venue for their parties so thered be no escape for my folks, haha.
so back to momma, im thinkin, since this is a fam party, she must go. but knowing her, i doubt it - even if. cuz cuz cuz shes ummm, i dont know. but shes just really laying too damn low [she used to be a party-goer] sheeesh! and she CANNOT make me go there on MY OWN! just because! i mean shed be unreasonable enough if she dont! and im really gonna whine my ass out if i get used as a proxy - again...[been one for years and im not even paid for it! like dayeem!] lol.

hmmm...wonder what i can give baby sammy.
haha! im thinkin...a mini dildo! lol. for her to suck on uh. hahahaha...okaye, shuuush. :X
emmm, whoops, sheyt! i just gave people ideas on what they can give my baby girl on my own baby shower! hahaha.
emm, no, i am not horny. it just came to mind. as in suddenly! so shu'up!

next one, maybe

hmm...
jojo hasnt really sat down to compose a rather thoughtful post for the past few...what...uhh, months? weeks? bahh.
well at least ive engaged myself with better activities than just s-toning all day long waiting for something to happen; whether good or bad, which is mainly just for entertainment, really.
but aaaanyways, ive LOADS of topics in mind, just that, gotta find the right time, my frame of mind.



ah, yeah. been lookin at the photos recently [almost everyday]. ahh, those times. hah. so the freaking many til its caused my notebook some setbacks. wakakaka. and lazy-me tells me to do something about it but just no actions til now.
and yea, emm. some's told me, gotta really put some new photos in here and the other profiles. haha. okaye.
and yea, also got this "habit" of not responding to SMSes. well, just so you know, i dont hold the phone with me whereever i go, so by the time i read your msges, id probably be too late or you, be asleep, which isnt a good time to reply since i dont wanna wake you up. so see! im showing some courtesy here! and and and pardon me if i dont reply when you see me 'online' but puhhleeeze! do take notice of the "AWAY" status! haha. okaye. gotta peeeeeee.

watch over me

gawsh...already last paper and im still still stoning away...
i reward myself for the 10-second-challenge-to-focus kind of revision more than the mugging i should be doin...
tsk tsk tsk.
if only i can g-lue my eyes on these notes like how i do with the tv.
i only have less than 15hours to the paper and im still idling away...
waahaahaaaa!

-okaye, back to the 10second challenge-

:|

dumb dumb dumb.

how true is it?
how sincere were those words let out?
im so sad i made u feel scorned :'(

i guess i misjudged you.
i guess i dont know you enough to believe the things you said.
...i guess... im bad :(

but if it were real, if my dream of you with you comes true, i would be more than ever be blessed to have you.

*sigh*

i hope i havent lost you, kage :(
[was i being a brat jojo?]
but but but you cannot blame me for thinkin in such a way.
ouh well, if you arent what i thought you were, then my hoping for you to be different, is right.
but ts'all too late - i guess - we both blew our chances, for my telling you that and you backing out...

awwwww...ouhmahgahh...im such a moron

- - i am sorry - -
[its too late to apologize...too laaaate]

go for it

love the feeling of being with the person you love soooo much that even if you dont speak,
you know that you love each other.
it is okaye to just feel the tacit moments; the feeling is so pleasantly amagnifizing.
however, sometimes, or more often, when that someone has left,
it is where we have that pang of guilt, that pang of conscience that it wasnt enough.
that you wish you could just turn back time and say the things you wanted to say to that person.
...that you love him/her.
its where we realise that showing physical and emotional and [maybe even] spiritual love for that person is never enough.
that we gotta also show it verbally.
but it is tough aint it?
coz somehow you have that shyness predominating in you...
also known as cowardice, gutless, lily-livered, diffidence or timidity
but whatever that is, are you gonna risk waiting for the moment youll regret?
hmmm....
easy to say, hard to act on.
but maybe, just maybe, of the hundreds who has [read] or is reading this, be it here or somewhere else, and only a couple decided to act upon these, then they have already made a difference;
for small changes make big differences...

*on a side note*
heres a trivia for amateur coffee fiends.
did you know that the most pricey coffee is kopi luwak or civet coffee?
its made from coffee berries eaten and defecated by civets!
the cost? $75/100g! produced 450kg [at most] annually.
wooohooo! chyeah baybeeey. lets try it one day, okaye?
one day=98743223765 days time. :|

so ill cya!

come away with me

when ive graduated and have started earnin my own dough, imma make sure i bring my frenz to the phils like theyve always wanted! woohoo! imma bring you bitches to the wonderful beaches.

this aint a promise to keep, its my goal to strive on.
this aint my only goal, its one of my goals that includes friends who are willing to know where i come from.

thank you soooo much!
i so fucking love you.


ack!!! craving for donuts... :|

snapping soon

dooode!
fucking hell.
kill me!!!!!!

gahh.

@_@
updating with the bloody bloodshot panda eyes.
been up all night; tossing and turning, playing psp, cleaning up and defragmenting my notebook, fidgeting with the cellphone, reading an inspiring piece in rd, revisiting the loo [time and again], hoping either would just! just just! make me shut my eyes and fall to the perhaps "only" favorite-part-of-my-life; dreamland.
but!
to no avail :(

so i got sofa king pissed, i got up and settled upon practicing packet tracer from the very first page. -_- uhh, well, not exactly the "right" time to practice that since i planned on doin it later...
hyea.
but,
ouh well.

been at it for three hours now, i suppose. and my eyes arent givin up...while...
my body is!
ugh! its like, my eyes are happily enjoying what its "forcing" my brains and hands to do; considering my entire[probably] system has limited patience and is short attention span...gee. a total sabotage. causing me to be wide awake while my body is s-lowly shutting down on me. dayyem.

okaye! finally, after typing some words; wasting energy, my eyes are finally unable to endure the weight any longer! imma knock off and have some shuteye before dad bugs me for lunch.......brunch...

gahh.

@_@
updating with the bloody bloodshot panda eyes.
been up all night; tossing and turning, playing psp, cleaning up and defragmenting my notebook, fidgeting with the cellphone, reading an inspiring piece in rd, revisiting the loo [time and again], hoping either would just! just just! make me shut my eyes and fall to the perhaps "only" favorite-part-of-my-life; dreamland.
but!
to no avail :(

so i got sofa king pissed, i got up and settled upon practicing packet tracer from the very first page. -_- uhh, well, not exactly the "right" time to practice that since i planned on doin it later...
hyea.
but,
ouh well.

been at it for three hours now, i suppose. and my eyes arent givin up...while...
my body is!
ugh! its like, my eyes are happily enjoying what its "forcing" my brains and hands to do; considering my entire[probably] system has limited patience and is short attention span...gee. a total sabotage. causing me to be wide awake while my body is s-lowly shutting down on me. dayyem.

okaye! finally, after typing some words; wasting energy, my eyes are finally unable to endure the weight any longer! imma knock off and have some shuteye before dad bugs me for lunch.......brunch...

spa-re me.

fuck my nape hurts! i hope someone massages my nape, :( stiff nape? i wish hed cancel today. less than an hour and a half, geeeeez.
for some reason, my notebooks givin me reasons to hate him/her/it, fuck.
the days ive been d-reading is around the corner, damn.
just turn back the time please?
i just hate commitments im not totally ready for, shux.

bahhhh! lets just get this over with! dayyeeem!





uhhhm, hi.

just a lil something

hey hey!
0227hours
and!
i just finished my practice for laters ass6!
yep! asssss...
managed to do everything.
no blunders! tweeee! finafreakinglly!
but but but!
still at loss on how to answer step4g! [ccna2, lab11.2.2b]
bahhh!
glad i managed to do everything aight.
laters real thang IS damnright of course another thang.
for all i know, answering laters bloody questions is just gombie like ass5's, gee. :|
suck lollipop lah!
but aaanyway, its laters problem, so dont let me problemize on it til the moment we start later, okaye!

okaye, im posting this kind of post for the very first time[i think] of this 2nd term because its my very first time to really open the freaking book and practice using packet tracer! haha, so in other words, im braggin that i was sorta kinda [pretty maybe] able to finish one whole lab without givin up! yeye! a pat on my back. but well see howt goes later yar? okaye, fuck, i gotta sh-leep. the after-effect of the freakin meds already been overdue an hour ago; diao!
kaye bye!

why...

coupla things to rant on about.

#1 why the fff-uck am i not recovering!!! how fff-ucking long have i been sick? huh? anyone? [im not keeping track...haha.] *snaps back* but why!!! has anyone noticed how long ive been havin this fff-ucking virus in me!? i bet some do!

aaaaanywayyy,

#2 what is wrong with this ffff-ucking bald head teacher! i may not be surprised that he debarred joanne [uh, thats gonna be me, duh], but some people whom i thought didnt really deserve to be debarred ACTUALLY got debarred! huwaaay!!!!? and those who did, didnt! that son of his mother! does he have this outrage in his life that he has to debar us? well emm, heres a lil description about soong. hes a single, bald-but-sweet-looking-but-"looks-can-be-deceiving" guy who laughs or smiles whenever we tease him and pesters us when comes to submitting assignments but takes a raincheck when asked for our supposedly-marked-three-weeks-ago assignment papers! urrrgh...

#3 uhhh...do i have a number three rant? *thinks hard*
ahhh yesss! why does the camp have to fall on weekdays! what kind of organizer would organize such event without thinkin or checking with the other campuses whether or not wed be available!

#4 *forced* why do i get wrong people! why cant the one im lookin for come to me!?


aaaand soo, heres my own [and most probably yours too] short-answered answers to my own short-answered-but-freaking-long-ranting questions.


>#1 coz youve been eating the forbidden-foods-when-youre-sick, you sick-in-the-brains, you!

>#2 coz you dont have the discipline to go to school on time or before time and you copy answers from people for visual basic you freak, you! emm, as for the other questions, go ask him.

>#3 coz they do not know whod be interested in joining them; jan-intake or apr-intake you gundu eat babi you!

>#4 urrr...coz its not the "the-right-man-for-you-will-come-at-the-right-time" time yet, you dumbass twit, you.


ouhhhkaaaye, im s-leepy.

nothingness at all

weeeee!!!! cny!!!
i got four dollars today shia! hah!
i shy lar, walk walk, give give oranges, receive receive hong baos!
aaaanyways.
i miss school lei!
miss lookin at guys! hah. keke. as if.
okaye...i miss lookin at girls? hah. riiight.
okaye okaye. i miss people lookin at me?!
lol! im like so the fa king thick skinned lar.
but try pinching me see if thick anot. doubt it! sooo blueeeeek!
okaye, i really just miss the schools aura!

wooo! tomorrows lees gig at dxo
$12
wan come? wan come?
kaye fine, never freakin mind.
ive been posting sheyts for the past few days.
nothing serious; all ke-rap!
well, its better than emoting and talkin bout @#$#@^&@!#&*^%$ and all right?!
naaaaahbeii.
hahaha!

i think im just drinkin too much hyphy juice. harhar.
okaye fine! theres no hyphy juice in singapore :( or do they already have?
hmmm. i havent been on the "serious mode" for the past few weeks!
prolly cuz im all hyphy hyphy baby!
tweeeee!
aight aight. chill you twit!
imma go......
back to my whatever-doings.

chacarron

hmm, a feel good raggaeton "exercise"/"dance"? with teletubbies.



cute one!

moonlight dancing

happy chinese new year
hong baos...
lalala.


facebook is drivin me insanely nuts!
freaking too many much much applications!
i cant keep up with all the sheyts, gaaahh!
and and and yeah, i just have no time to update these profile stuffs [f'ster, myspace, facebook, hi5, ringo, bebo, etc. @_@]
gosh.
i think most people would just wanna own one instead of like having $#@%$%#@%@#$ crazy online social network profiles...
bah.

hmmm, its awfully quiet,
its dying down, :( awwww...
noooo!!! cmon cmon cmon!!!

schools okaye okaye. but im feelin lonely without school since its cny. hah.
as long as there wouldnt be any tests any exams any projects any assignements needed, school would be fun otherwise!

its dads year this year; rat year. gee, what a cheesey year. tsk tsk tsk. lol
DP Archi won the sports hub contract. cool stuff.
hes currently on the universal studio proj and i hope it really wont be as sucky as the IR proj. sigh. i reeeeally dont like seeing him that frazzled again. gives me the creeps. i dont ever wanna see him be hospitalized again. :( imma cry an ocean of tears. i hope mom wont eat too much :( its scaring me to see her eat like a lil cute chubby girl together with dad; they dont skip dessert like kuya and i do, hmm. second childhood? living life to the fullest? either way, i love them sooo much like my tv. okaye, thats a bad one.
bye and enjoy.



~~~oi! when youre back, can we have kfc?
holla me when youre back!~~~

my britneys gone crazy!!! dayyem dawg!

lalalalalalalalalalala...........
okaye thats a very very very very very very difficult tongue twister!
okaye, thats not even a tongue twister lah! right? is it?
...no uh.

fine! heres a short one then! [do it fast hor!]
"Tim, the thin twin tinsmith"
ahhhh! can or not?! can or not! cannot right! naaahbeiii!
*i also cannot lah, teehee*

okaye okaye, emmm, *looks around*
ive nothin to say...



*few secs later...*

i just read up on britney...
sad lar! ;'(
im not gon' repudiate the fact that she was my idol - well, i think she was, of many millions of youngsters then - and probably still.
sigh.
i remember, when her second album came out, my mom was kinda reluctant to buy it for me [birthday gift] cuz of the look she portrayed just on the album cover - and from there on.
and thenceforth, things just went berserk in her life.
and all we could do was just listen/watch news and support her; through her music. i know those fanatic fans wouldve wanted to be close, be her friend or something and look after her, to make sure she stays on top! with good health and all. but too bad for 's'all.
maybe the blame can all go to j.t, wuchall think? cuz if you really really think of it, it all started there; the bad break up, j.ts crazy reprisal song, and all that jazz. its crazy. crazy crazy!
see la, now she also crazy! craaazy...
if only im her friend uh, confirm! she wont be in this situation now! serious!


~
okaye, anyway, i really hate jpi! i think i hate suryani already! hahaha. its just my stupid excuse to hate her just because my groups been procrastinating on our job which was due last week! its crazy, i know. im like, how am i gon survive my poly or uni life [if ever i get into! which i really hope i will! now, hold whatever thoughts youre havin there, reader! thats another way of saying "shut up you!"] if im like this! craaaaazy! you see lah, like idol like idolater! both crazy. huahuahua. okaye, i know its crazy of me to like compare my whatever-doings with her, haha! but yeah, crazy. whatever...

i still love britney spears [even if shes not been my idol for a long time now], and i sincerely hope she recuperates. shes after all just another human being, suffering from some kind of mental illness [probably coz of stardom] and she just happened to be famous. hope those shutterbugs will think of celebs' welfare rather than their own competitions in career! look what happened to Princess Di! my gawsh lah! so to those who have this freaking eagerness to get into the showbiz world, c'mon, im sure yall have seen too many living proofs of what showbiz has done to em all - emm, the dead and gone crazy ones, i meant.

okaye okaye, i feel like im talkin to myself already. Bye lah!

***some memorable/unforgettable special thingsss!***
a nip slip!!! not me uh! my friend's! hahahaha. i love her anyways! and and and i consider myself lucky amongst both genders for what i have seen! kekeekkekkeke. just k'ddin!
[okaye, so maybe thats just "some A...special thingsss"...
okaye okaye! BYE already!
ouh, and hi to melly...

this feeling of self hatred

booyah!

some random things...
^ive been sayin "nahbei" frequently now - again [its kinda like a fashion that comes and goes, lol]
^cussing all the time [which is reeeally not nice for a girl, i know! nothings change...]
^been dawdling on so many frucking pail-bucket-truck-loadssa things [as always]
^been satisfying my cravings [baloon-like-tummy-me now!]
^been a shirker both at home and outside of [like thats ever improved! *rolls eyes*]
^been feeling blitzed even without the booze [woohoooo! lets gettet ouunnn, jig! haha]

wishing for the highly unlikely things to be likely...
`wanna grad from where im studying now without putting in any effort, hah
`wanna graduate from university without havin to even step into one [can uh...please!?]
`wanna get paid without havin to slog my guts out or requiring any muscle movement [ladadadada...]
`wanna go shopping with no money or any credit card
*wanna live my dreams! live my wishes!*


im suffering from this sickness called acedia. or should i just say im actually sinning; being slothful; seven deadly sins. *gaaaaaah*




okaye, on a more serioso note,
i hope dad wont get frazzled and fall sick again; sigh
...if only im super jojo :(

so happy together

happy 3rd anniversary...


how time fruckin flies...
ahh well, im happy that theyre happy.




pretty surprising that kuya decided to celebrate his anniv at home...

he cooked and prepared and garnished dinner for us all. all by himself. i only peeled 3carrots and everything else was his. whipped potato, beef steak, corn, soup and the finger foods. lol. i also can do lah! but with a lot of help uh, a lot a lot! do alone, siao uh, waleo.


~since he told me to shut up at one moment i commented mom, i stayed silent throughout the whole dinner, and they were like begging me to talk already, geez la! im like so whatever...

anyway, happy thirdy. stay strong la... i dont know what else to say, but yeah, laidat.
dont think i can survive that long la! few weeks, i can die already. unless i meet someone i can never get sick of, lol. NEVER...

hmm, im sure ill get there, haha, no rush, anyway.
just go widda fruckin flow, yo.
alright uh, whatever...take care you guys!

eyyaw!

dayyyem...
bah! damn that...
lalala...


febbys gombie a fhectic month fer me.
ah well, all the better...



the past few days...
err, lets just say "this week"...
right...
so...
this week...
this weeks been pretty much a fine week fer me.
was a lil more loose...
i hope this elation wont perish
and bring me back to seclusion.
dont want no such thang!
nuh-uh!
fo shizzle mah pizzle!
its like putting me in a rehab! lol.
like so emo lah! waleoooo...
like an emotional roller coaster-train-card-candy ride...
up down up down...[roller coaster]
in out in out...[train]
insert remove insert remove...[card]
push pop push pop...[candy]
alamaaaaak.
["insert, remove" and "push, pop" is from my computing maths module uh! dont think so far! nahbei...]


okaye lah...im like, so whatever.
i can do so much better..
i think i should get together now.
and thats whats everyones talkin bout
hey hey me me...

:| kaye fine! ill shut the fuck up neeeeeow.
gosh...

the explanation to the contradiction

hmmm...
i mustve overlooked my previous post...
lol. ive always - always hated my previous posts.
like, id always find my current post okaye on the day i made it, and dumb the next day or so. haha. true that. true that.

well aaaanyway, heres to clarify a few things on the ludicrous post to those who didnt really read between the lines or couldnt decipher it all or just plainly didnt understand what it purported.


1. i apologize if any of you scorn my post. it was just a personal view written in a sarcastic way. i was clearly oblivious about the readers who may have perceptions in contrast to mine.

2. yes, im uberly aware that we ALL have hitches, may it be as tiny as an ant...
what i meant was, i feel i do not have any problems to face; problems as hefty as my friends' whom at a young age already have to deal with things they arent supposed to be dealing with at their tender adolescent stage.

3. my finding it "unnecessary" to share, doesnt mean i find it pathetic at all. emmm, but if ever, i have actually mentioned before[if you know me, youd know im a woolly-headed] that i have actually said i found it stupid to share, pardon me for i didnt fully elucidate. well here i am now, explicating...

there are things in my life thats happened years years ago that made me be like this [the what you would call my-unwillingness-to-share side-of-me]. not only to me, but to the people close to me [im sure i need not go further in this part now huh...]
now im also sure weve come across the phrase "defense mechanism"? to those who loves or knows psychology...you should have already been au fait with me or my posts long ago.

if its sharing here were talkin about, not many people are as open as some. when i said "be it fun or not", yeah, i did mean it in a way that even the smallest thing that i could share, i wouldnt, not because i dont want to, but because it is already a part of me to be that way. its not as if you can just shrug your past experiences off you that easy; it takes time for someone to heal you know. if you cannot already follow, then im sorry, but im not gonna put it in details cuz i really dont have to.

4. thank you for the sincere opinion. i do respect it, but im just laying this out in response to yours; its not so detailed in the end but i made sure its been somehow clarified.




dont get me wrong, im not always like this with every person. perhaps, there are just people whom we feel so comfortable with and only those people are the people whom we can kinda open up to. ill be direct, we are human beings, if not all, then i should say many are choosy. if there are people who arent, then please accept that there are people who are. we may say that we treat our friends equally, but the fact is, we really share more to whom we feel closer to. im not exaggeratingly overreacting, but i felt i had to really make things clear to all of us, yes us.

*phew* okaye, done dawg!
on a lighter note, i sound so the...eeeyer. lol! okaye, ive slipped back into my happiness! tweeeeee. teehee! ;-} and ill prolly hate this post in time to come; tomorrow maybe? lol!

inordinately contemplated

emmm...







*B-L-A-N-K*...ness










many a times...
i think...
that..isnt it just gruelingly arduous for an individual [like me] who is
a total [somewhat] what-you-would-or-could-call problem-free person?

emmm...

zat a good thing?



at this age... im chillin my mfb arse down here...with little experiences in life [not much bad sheyts happnin - im glad...i think?]
very dependent...[but an independent-wannabe.] ;\
and everyday i watch and listen to others' yakin bout their knotty lives, problems here and there and there and there too. geeeee.
well, at least now youve no reason to ask why im most of the time quiet. but if you insist to know, i really find it, unnecessary to share my experiences, be it fun or not.

advantage: neednt be stupefied by whutchall call "problems" [i should really take it off my dictionary...and the next time someone asks if i have a prob, ill just say "whut? whuts 'problem'?" and give that raised-eyebrow-look.]

detriment:
1. little experiences = dumb = me? :{
2. choosing to keep silent = dull = boring = me? :{
3. gets pissed easily with rinky-dink things [just because im not used to it all?]
fuck... *lyaorobl*





ouhhhkaye...



im actually spun out after the whole blank state of mind.
yep...its really frazzling when youre minds empty...regardless the length of time
sheeesh!

"to think...or not to think...
that...
is the question..."
↑ [thasocheesey]

its like...what the hell should i do?! or or or...since people create their own problems[not entirely true but most of the freakin time, yea], i think i should myself, hah. just for the frucking fun of it. geez, i cant believe im being skeptical about this.





im bored out of my wits!
*huh?*



be careful whutchask for jojo...
gahh!
i just wanna graduate, and accomplish my sevendickslong to-do list, heh. studystudystudy...
can die uh!




****i dont know why im not friends or close with people who are like me. i do know a few! really, i do. but were like in different places - and thats the hindrance! ouhwell...

sigh...

as of this very moment, and the many other exact moments, im feeling...
limboic...
state of oblivion...

i think...i just dont like what im doin in my life...
i feel like im fawning on everybody
i feel like im too obtrusive

i just dont like where im at...at least for seven years now, i never did...
for no reason...?

perhaps... i really just dont like what im doin in my life...
perhaps... i just really dont like where im at...
perhaps... its the animosity...?
perhaps... im just feeling and thinkin too afar. paranoia?
perhaps... my being a pessimist was/is just kickin in...
perhaps... im...just bored? [worst whatever ever...]

a big sigh again...perhaps?

urrrrghhhhh...

i really need to get away...times just not allowing...
okaye...perhaps i need a big sigh...
but its as if itll better everything im feeling... :(
geez...
sigh again!

urghhhh!!!!

great...
my desire to sleep has "vanished"...
SIGH...

its those days again

some beautiful day...
there are many things that can make us reminisce...
places, songs, movies, food, and of course, pekchurs...
but dont you just love the way the weather just makes you reminisce?
ye know? like - how it harks you back to the old days...

like my oh-so-short-somethin-somethin;
the dusk on sunday; the gorgeous red sunset, the whole of DAY[just daytime...] today [and also the many other days] evoked my mixed good and bad memories...; from grade school where i ran around alot during pe and the climbing up the school bus...to the home trip where i was just lookin out the car window and observin how people live their lives...to the bittersweet memories of just the recent past that i hate to love...*sigh-ers*

hmmm...well, i guess when we experience the good ol days, with that good ol weather with some people[who would later leave us], it makes our beamy phiz turn into a puckered brow...like, how you remembered those nice times[makin you smile]..which then forwards to how much one got hurt and suddenly you get so irate.

kabaaaaaym! how infuriating sometimes. it just makes you regret the things you decided to do at that moment, even if you already knew what you should do but you still chose to defy yourself. how witless! :'( there are things that you just wished you took the other turn cuz there are things you can never recoup.

okaye, okaye, this is supposed to be a fucking happy post...but it sounded sappy in the end. huahuahua. emmm...yeah. whatevaaaah. i just miss the people i shared my good times with. hope to recapture those moments again. *smiles* but its pretty very disheartening that they do not recall those moments. *sigh* blah blah blah shet. okaye. hehe!




PS. thanks SABaBY for the cute little feature of mua on yer post, i felt so the touched, you know, like your finger touch my chest, like the ET style? hahahha. nonono, serious, serious! alarrr, later you confirm say "this wan 'shorty-style' uh," lol. anyway, the feelings mutual, gerl. i hope sushi session will be soon soon soon. cant wait.

booyah!

emmmm...hopefully this months shitloadssa werrrk wont be too strenuous so that i can meet up with MELLY already! gosh.

emmm...i am for now enjoying school. again. astoundingly miraculously.
im doin my mofreakin best to be consistent in my mofu-freakin modules!
and errr, so far, ts'all good. but still gotta go back to my first term and read up til this new mod [thats like a gazitrimibillion chapters? -_-" just to freakin dig every freakin word that freakin appears in every freakin sentence of the book that imma start to freakin read in like! gaziwillion seconds away...how many days is that uh? okaye. whatever.
huwatttevaaaaaah...

emmm, mel? if ur readin this. please. please. please! lol.
bagel.
and donut.
your treat.
and coffee.
well meet soooooon!

okaye.
im spent.
outt[ahhh...]

the irrecoverableness

son of a bitch! this really isnt necessary...
but...
fuck sheyt!!!

my rewritable disk thats got all my files from my previous back up cracked! and fuck my laziness! i didnt double back up my files so all my fucking hard work and fucking sheyts, gone, poof! just like that! urgh! please turn back the mofo time!!! please?!!! i really hate this moment. my precious personal projects and arts all gone with just them crack! and music, and fucking documents and class stuff and fuck! kenya jazz brim back them tym!!! @#^&%$#@^&%^*&%$

Thank You

today's International Thank You Day

so emmm,

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!

im back...

hello mofos!!!!
hahaha!
all my posts sofa king emo wan.
like fuck!
like you all uh!
lol...

get over it

HAPPY THREE KINGS :)

holidays are over. *mooommmmyyyy, it's ooooverrrrr :'( *
*gimme gimme [more], gimme [more], gimme gimme [more]*
schools back. [cant wait for the next hols :| ]
i have been soooooooo busy since holidays started. preparation for christmas then new year. so long of a preparation, didnt have time for projects and assignments!
well, blah blah blah...

emmm, i found my last posts so corny like that...eeeyer.
ouh hwell...
emmm, well, err...
lets see what to talk about...
okaye...i think...i got it...

lets talk about...misconception...about...me...lol...so corny...
well, live with it...coz i write corny things...hahaha...
okaye, seriously now...
shut up...

well see, i blog...usually about SOME events that happen in my life...and sometimes about my views on some things...and sometimes...just. plain. crap.
but i do not post just about E-V-E-R-Y single event EVERYDAY or even just a particular day or even any occasion...
cuz there are some "funny" people who has this fallacy about me that i do not "go out", party, chill with friends and the whatnots...
well, errr... *rolls eyes*
so just because i do not post pictures or post about an event, it so-tota-freakingly does not mean that nothing happened to me that day...RIGHT?! or maybe just because you do not see nor hear about me meet with the common friends, you already have that thought in mind?

but, really...do i have to tell everyone what i did or am doing or will be doing?
do i have to post about me going to a party, drinkin, getting drunk, helping get sober up, meeting up with other "outside" friends, chilling here and there, watching them jam, trashing their places, getting a haircut, doing my homework, kissing people, getting laid, going to a hospital, and all that jazz?

well, geez. thats uber overrated.
here, lemme clear things up...
i post when i feel like it. i post ABOUT SOMETHING when i feel like it.
i DO NOT post about something that DID NOT happen. i do not NECESSARILY have to post pictures or whatever just to prove things to anybody. i DO NOT have to prove anything to anybody. believe me or not, im not bothered. so really, the next time you ask something and i explain and you dont believe me, well, sorry but really i do not care.

ouh, and yea, another thing, i dont find being a loner a bad thing...it makes you contemplate on things clearer rather than being with someone all the time. i guess its why youre pretty shallow.
and yeah, to someone, my bad, i clearly forgot about consideration. for not apologising for disturbing some people before i ask something. i am ONLY human, i make mistakes.
so there.

i love you dadda

hip-hip hurray..hip-hip hurray..hip-hip hurray...
hip-hip hurray..hip-hip hurray..hip-hip hurray...
tayo'y magsaya cuz it's your birthday...

HAPPY 48th Birthday daddy!

aheeeee...

i love you soooo much!
*you gotta hear how i say it*
like...seriously...

okaye...so anyways, didnt really plan his birthday cuz yknow...moms at work...and kuyas at camp...
busy-busy... [bummer]*rolls eyes...and smiles whateverly...*
plus...dad didnt really wanna have a party or even eat out so he just wore simply ~.o
*tsk tsk tsk* [old people always like that...*sigh*]
after mass, i decided we at least eat out...
and since ive been too lazy uploading pictures...here are some...lol...
tita christine, thank you for being a part of the celebration today. :)

at Church of the Sacred Heart

the daddy and the girl... daddy's girl!

the momma and the poppa

the 48 year old boy with his firehouse treat.
i bet he wasnt really ready for that shot momma took O.o

*extras*

the baby...hehehe ;-)

if there's a "the daddy and the girl",
there's gotta be a "the mommy and the baby"!

hello '08

The opening of a new year! Weeee!!! I roughly know the things thats gonna happen this year, according to someone. But I hope we all can change that and let it not happen…

I hope to…
be a better kid
be NERDIER!
be a hot chick, hahaha!
be more responsible
be less of a lollygagger!!!

My New Year’s Resolutions!
→ bett…

…Emm, wait. Should I actually say out my New Year’s Resolution here? If I say it out, will it come true? Or will it only worsen things? Will it? Will it?! Errr, okaye, never mind.

Have a BLESSED New Year to you guys. I love yall.

hugs

g'bye '07

The highlights of my 2007

well well, heres a wrap up of my 2007!
gotta admit this year hasnt been a good year fer me, and us all.
but certainly, there are things to be thankful for!

~the goods [my gratitudes]~
= new year spent with gramms! and cousins. :)
= the safety of tours with relatives [considering im in such places]
= the beautiful things I havent seen in a long time
= the lovely new things I saw and learned in my own beloved country :)
= the safe flight back here
1= the first choice of school and course I got into! :)
2= new friends!
3↓= cousin’s visit
4↓= met a supposedly potential new good friend
= relatives’ visit
5↓= boyfriend -_-
5= being patient with healing

5= learning from mistakes

*edits*
= the good health all year long! no colds nor cough at all :)

and

~the bads~
1↑= O results [which is the cause of 06, but since it happened in 07, its still counted!]
2↑= split with cdss fam :(
3= an unexpected total bad experience with cousin :(
4= a vvvveeeerrrrry big loss of a friendship with the “supposedly potential new good friend”
5= a stupid, motherfucking, dumb decision of havin a boyfriend, lol. ~_o
= loss of an aunt :(
= bad experiences at work :(
= aloofness with my beloved one :(

Tadaaa! Well, of course, that isn’t everything. That’s just some of the things that really made me take notice of…and probably the only things I could remember, hahaha! As you can see, my “goods” has more but I still consider this year, a sorta not-good year cuz…besides my 06’s bad experiences not being as many as this year’s, the experiences this year was more saddening than I have ever experienced :( lol!

That aside, I’m still thankful for the experiences that taught me real good lessons. I’m ever more thankful than mad, hehe. It has helped strengthen me and really, I don’t know what else to say but Thank You Lord God. and of course, the people involved...hahaha.

Thank You SOoooooo Much!

happy holidays

'glad mom and dad listened to me and got us to attend mass this morning! huehuehue! arch on the other hand, was on his bed and slept all the way like one @#^&*^$#$!@#$%^&*(&&^%$#@!...[whoops. that was a long cuss, haha] ok. so that aside.
i enjoyed my time at church; ive missed the unity of the beautiful people i grew up seeing regularly eversince grade1, the praises, the homily, the aura of that house and the aroma of the incense, the solemn moments of course, and the greeting the priests after the mass. havent done all that in a looooong time.
got home to prepare for the celebration. twas all good; moms nagging plus the listening to the cheeky chipmunks-christmas-music plus the working-together-as-one helped made our job easier and time more worthwhile :) [a big smile for that!]

growing up, gifts have always been my only anticipation besides food and games when times like these come. but now, i noticed how im not so into those things any more than ive always wanted to even when i 'complain'ed "where are my gifts?!". deep inside me knows i do not need material things to fulfill my happiness. simple things like the smiles on their faces, the kisses, the embraces, the good health, and the togetherness already meet my happiness. i think ive experienced quite enough for me to know the importance of what we really want and need for gifts in our lives. i remembered how acquisitive i was, whining and my being cantankerousness to my parents who would eventually give in to my desires even if i knew i was asking for absurdly impossible things. gee. thinking back, i realised how hard it is to be a parent. theyd still comfort you and will always do their best to grant your wishes. despite your over-ness in everything. and now that im already almost grown up, all i want for christmas is to spend it with my whole fam. hopefully next year.

thank you for all the gifts anyway. theyre all lovely. i had a pretty much good time. especially the night with the blotto, Kris G :) and i love her margarita and my own absolut vodka. but nothing will top the mass, hehe. emmm, lazy to post pics so just bear with the woozy post :) *get dizzy*

my definition of christmas

its kinda funny when parents are scolding you; seeing their brows meet and the voices so stern you wouldnt dare look nor speak. and when they give a wrong statement of what you did, you utter something in your defense that suddenly breaks the whole tension into a total mirth.
ouh well. a total crack up. *smirks*

~~~~~~~~~~~~

the spirit of christmas.
well. its really got different definitions for different people. for me, though, its somehow the truce that takes place in the family where nobody brings up the issues; the quarrels. the loving of our neighbours. and of course, significantly, to celebrate Jesus' birth. many of us overlook the real meaning of christmas. we preoccupy ourselves with the preparation of the parties, and not really the celebration of Jesus' birth. christmas has become just a party full with gifts and food. we've forgotten that christmas is a celebration for Jesus, with food to commemorate his birth, exchanging kisses and gifts not for ourselves, but to remember the LOVE we have for one another that Jesus showed us all.

im not gonna deny. i myself havent been a good person. been neglecting my obligations for God. and as a family, we hadnt gone for the SIMBANG GABI or MISA DE GALLO, ["midnight mass" or "mass of the rooster"] that happens usually 9days before christmas. hmmm. i hate how things are now. but i know ill get us there.