exempted

Sometimes you just have to put an end on things you think you can't handle anymore..
You have to take small steps to do it..
You get irritated...mad...but at the end of the day, what have you gained?

Some people choose to smile and laugh on things rather than cry
Because they believe that crying won't solve the problem...and you gain nothing
Yes..smiling and laughing wont solve your problem too
But at least...you'll look beautiful...because you look at things beautifully when you do that...
Though not necessarily...but hey...you'll look younger! and you don't think about your problem that much anymore!!!

It's nice to be just at peace with everybody! and everything!
Right now I feel happy because I'm looking at things in a neutral way...I feel so peaceful...
The problems 've encountered...I take 'em all as experiences! and lessons...
So the next time I encounter another similar problem, I'd know what to do and will do my best not to repeat the mistakes I've made before...

come and smell the beauty of the world..what it has given you

like what a friend once told me...

"If you’re feeling down..remember the moments that took your breath away!

you gotta stop and smell the flowers

Choose to rmbr the happy ones.."

070706

no cam for today...juz used my hp..so here..e rest is video...

juz read sab's post...for what happened today...

BETTER..

MAINTAINING..

and will MAINTAIN...

Really too tired gettin involved...
Should really just shut the fuck up...
Some people just HAVE to misinterpret the things u say...
Too tired of giving in to people...

continuous..

I PROMISE

oh pipole...press the "R" on e tagboard if u cnt c e taggies aighty!

DON'T KNOW why...
but i juz feeel like SHIT taday...
F-A-C-K!

i have high hopes and dreams...
but i often think that with my bloody attitude towards learning,
i'll never achieve em..
but be optimistic..
when people or YOU ask dis qn to urself...

When is ur future behind u?
the answer is
When u stop chasing dreams..so don’t stop!!!

it may be a long way..and the road may not be straight n smooth...but u will still get there...
with juz some perseverance and determination,and HARD WORK of corz!

sch's back...haven't done a single shit..
bt ive promised myself...tmr onwards...muz b guai2
cant afford 2 slack anymor..
sux la..but its oni a few more months...n we'll all b freeeeeee...*ryt*...
sianz...ill do my best 2 keep my promise....n goal..
ive been keeping EMPTY promises ah...wahkao...

to clique 10..i tink we all have 2 b alone 4 awile..cuz wenever we're wid each other...we 4gt abt everything...its not a bad thing...bt lets juz do it? its 4 our own gewd...so ye!

damn...gotta c all e ppl i hate..haha..number 1...hu else...Mak Helmet! haiz...

cya!

TEACHERS COME....AND GO...

i'm not actually feelin anything right now...like..neutral..
but i juz wana blog abt sth before i go for camp..n will b away from my comp...4 awhile..[oh well,we cn use e sch's]

frm the many years of bein in cdss..many teachers have left...many...
it didn't affect me when i was in sec 1-3..din rili care..
but it's starting 2 kinda affect me..[well..since laz yr..end of laz yr...]

i juz feLT like..a lil sad..cuz MDM SUZANNAH left laz yr..n den..ms karen tau..ms yong...n MRS JULIET TAN...not forgettin..MDM TITI...was quite sad..but i accepted it..

but! this! year!....i tink a few more is leavin...
MRS IRIS LIM...hu took over poa teacher, mrs juliet...is leavin cuz...[damn i can't say y...]
my 1st impression of her wasn't tt good..so i din quite like her...so did our whole poa class...cuz she looked kinda lyk........snobbish?haha..
but as time went by..[abt weeks...] i started likin her...found her cool la..laid-back teacher..kewl 2 b ur fren..girlfren-material [hey girlfrend!..wana chill?]...she used 2 wakeboard..i forgot what her past time is la..bt yea..she is quite small..n petite..but hey she's stil kewl..she became one of the teacher-in-charge of our cca,DRAMA SOCIETY..almoz all hated her..but fuck em all...dey're dumb la! judge ppl oni...haha..i did judge her..but aft that few weeks..i thought, "hey y not giv her a chance to prove that she's not what we all think she is? she can't be that bad.."
n tt's wen i change my attitude 2wards her la...but she's left...i can stil remember...e laz day of sch...she came to our table..outsyd teacher's office..i apoligised 2 her 4 watever it is i did..did sth or not i juz apologised...oh well..wanted 2 reassure her tt i dun hate her or wat..den she told me that at 1st she thought that i couldn't make it...cuz my face n attitude was like e "heck-keh" type ah..den she lyk kinda shocked wen i passed or sth..haha..she kewl ah..sux she had 2 leave n another teacher takin over...NIE teacher...we'll c how it goes..

haiz..another teacher leavin! MRS GRACE..like...walau! she had this offer in taiwan..internat'l sch...which pays higher...happy for her la..but hello! n samor..her da husband! gg taiwan 4 duno wat shit la.den she say if he goes she oso la..den asked us 2 lyk persuade her hubby to not shift..wahkau...

all these teachers left cuz of 1 main reason...HER LA! SHE really pain in the ARSE man! she was supposed 2 leave but got extended for wat-ever-the-hell reason it was! honestly..all of us were like waitin 4 it noe! but lyk sway sial! wahkau...she scold2 student 2 b neat..e hair esp..bt look at her la! HELMET sia..worse than mine la! den the teachers oso she want to pick on them..she got no other better thing to do uh?! knn! tt's y w u ruling ah...cdss' reputation may not get recognised..come on la!haiyerr!waste out tym uh!

ahakz..kla.."complain..complain.."...eh juz expressin my feelings la! dunANY1 ever punish me for expressin my feelings on such stuff ok! actali SOME teachers myt agree w me la...SOME ok?!hehe..ok i juz judged another person..

Happy 22nd Anniversary MOM and DAD!!!!

Jo...

Tick Tock Tick Tock,
Is there something in your sock?
Oh wait its not X'mas,
nor you 21st.
Its your 18th for goodness sake!
So wadever I give, you have to take.
But since I am here and u are there,
and I know this isnt fair,
this is all I could give ya,
I will will make it up to you when I see ya.
My oh my you have grown so fast,
But this is never gonna last.
Coz sooner or later you are going to turn 20,
and then 30,40,50,60!
But trust me have fun while you still could,
I know that you would.
I am watching the world cup while doing this,
its just something that I cant miss.
This just shows that I am good at multitasking,
imagine me talking while me kissing.
Enough with my crap and back to where I started,
woops sorry I just farted.
So Happy Birthday again to you my D-A-R-L-I-N-G,
Stay young, smile always and be happy!


Lee Muhammad Johan
19 June 2006


Thanx a lot...haha...hmm..duno wat2say uh..
super thank u!
is all i can say 2 u
cuz i am speechless too!
uhhh...aren't u?
[hey tt rhymed]!

used 2 think she was those "minah" typa gals...haha..
im oni human..i judge...dun we all...

wanted her 2 b my kakak in sec2..she was in sec3 den..duno y..juz c her lyk e big sis material...nvr had a big sis..n always wanted 1..oh well..those were e days..i was young n stupid ok?!
den she came 2 my class..she sticked 2 ros like a glue...felt neglected..haha..nah..maybe a lil...
bt got 2 noe her bttr...IRRITATIN!!! bt FUNNEH...VERY FUNNEH...

got closer dis yr..our laz yr...she fell in luv w her current bloody boif...[sorry]..
n now? he's givin her e silent treatment...while she's der..waitin n waitin..not losin hope...hopin he'd b back...
she's 2 in luv w him...she's not possesive..shes not obsessed..juz in luv..bt der he is...treatin her lyk a used toy..

kids would juz ignore their toys wen dey dun lyk em anymore...n tt's exactly how he's treatin her..
1st he said he lyked her since blah3...den now? dun lyk her nemore la?
haiz...guys...juz cuz certain guys...think dey're too hand-friggin-some...dey treat gals lidat...

wenever shes w us..she puts on a smile...she crack jokes...she laffs w us...altho shes damn bloody hurt...tts 1 ting i shd learn frm her...

y do most girls go weak wen comes to guys? cuz guys r mostly known as e superiors? not all e tym...

girl..u shd be stronger! ur strong...bt be stronger ok?

luv u!

i hate it!!! had a friggin borrring dayyyyy tadeyyyy...
sch..chem practical..supposed 2 hav meeting w papa hoe n daddeeeh...cancelled..cuz twas gon rain...dang!...den went home...ate..slept...woke up...tv...comp...gosh!

supposed 2 hav bbq! den my kuz cancelled! waahhhhhhh....shoo baaaad! im dying here!!! i duno wa2do...can't study! gosh..ima fail mann...i hate mahself....oni 4 now...o welllllllll......BAAAAAWWWREEEEEENGGGG...

tata...

bday part1[080706]

sabby! lookin at amin ryt?
gosh! i spoiled e pose at e laz min!
better?
haha! amin! lookin wer?wakakka
ros laffin at me! cuz i was sitttin at wer she was lookin!;p!
e jun babis!haha..[viki,ros,me]..bear extra!
cakeeeyy
chey viki seiii
cut proply la!
mua!
ros,nunu
cute
ahakz...dis is our weapon! against bitches hu try 2 show deir stuff..haha..we got nunu

bday part2 [080706]

amiiiin! hapi eh? cuz y?
hahaha..ros hapi sei..lookin at her ree
i won dis race mann!!!
hmm...chillin...
haha..nunu?
y is amin always laffin or smilin big-ly wen e cam's on him? gee..

pe sey!
he looks lyk a scarecrow! ryt? wonder hu he's scaring..CHILLIPADI maybe? ahakz


we were "ballet-ly" trynna stretch 90 degrees..lol..even e guys!

Warsup BLOGGY!!! lollerz..im bbbbeeeaaaaccckkk!!!! Ye missed meh dincha?! Oh c’mon!!!

Otey2!!! i havent been too active in bloggin lately..affected by some things happnin ard here n der! Of corz…me n him r fine...but tt's not my prob la!..Abt my school cliquey...owell..shouldn't talk abt tt..im happeeh...at least for now..wakakaka...let's talk abt happy stuffs k?!

Wed[7/6/06]..4gt 2 greet rosie happy bday sia! until e IRP break..chat2 til rosie said sth den I remembered..haiyerr….”dis kind of fren!” den greeted her la…Den…chilled at frenz plc..slept der til dusk den headed home..lollerz…occupied e whole room n slept..on each other’s tummies..

Den thurs[8/6/06]…ahakz..went 2 harbour front for ros’ bday...bought cake, den ate at banquet..[suma us r broke..lyk me uh!]..Sang e bday song..aft singin 4 rosie..i confindently say “k..mk a wish” wen dey continued singin…4 ME! ahakky..Den fnish 4 me..den vicky…lol…Cute sia ros n ree…chey R&R..sei..[pe sey]..

Den2, went 2 DOUGH-BEE-GOAT..lol..den walked til we chilled at Lenson Place? [Ala..i duno e name bt oways go der..gong2 sia..] den lidat2 la…sit2..talk2..pic2…den pose giler2..[oni abit la]..den kena halau by e security guard? Cuz e residents complain..wat oni…COMPLAIN2! Action sia dose ppl…den we sit at e side la…den talk2..Den we separated frm e guys..gal talk..den go toilet..at e lenson place der..den went back 2 e plc wer we were chillin earlier..thinkin e guys were hiding...hahha!!! we[e gals] were lyk idiots lookin 4 e guys…thinking dey were playin hide n seek w us..in e end we found em at e friggin bustop! Den we all lyk dumbos “boo” here “boo” der..act lyk detectives..haha..good ting no one saw us! Prolly hav la..shiala…malu shial…ahakky!

Owell! I’ll update e pics tmr..nite! oh it’s morning..morneeen….

hmm..SYAFIE called us childish..that we're like kids
lyk wow?!! dude..r u even thinkin..? who's bein a kid here?
u fall in love? get heart broken...
now u INVOLVIN ur own friggin frenz?
spy here..spy der..hahaha...stupid dumbass

if only the teachers noe how HYPOCRITE u are..
u urself told us in school u hav 2 b good..well behaved..
so wat abt outsyd sch? u act lyk one hooligan la?

we forgave u...bt u started all ur shits agen
we forgave u even when u said UR NOT AFRAID TO LOSE UR FRENZ n ur PROUD 2 b ALONE
well i guez ur losin em one by one
alone eh?
so it only means one thing..ull never get married?

geez...oh well..anyway,b4 u call ppl KIDS...look at urself..
ask urself hu's bein DA KID!..u gt ur heartbroken n now ur like a KID...rollin on the floor..throwin tantrums juz cuz u didn't get wat u want...how's stupid...

Think dude...THINK...
ur a coward...can only throw words at us thru SMS? IM? TAG?
den face 2 face? haha...lyk one gong2 lidat..haiya....GROW UP la u...SORELOSER..lose 2 hairee oni den do dis...

there is a LITTLE TRUTH
behind every
"JUZ KIDDIN"...

so f u think ur juz kiddin
think agen!

ur hurtin some1's feelings..

my HARD FALL..i let cikgu down [I]

It's been buggin me for quite some time now..I tried to keep it to myself but I just realised that if I keep it to myself, then people wont get me..they'll get e wrong idea..So just gotta pen it down to probably let it out and at least release a coupla my many thoughts goin on in my head!

I can remember how I loved studying..doin assignments..goin school..learnin new things..touchin books..cleanin up mess [in my room of corz]..rearrangin em..helpin out..

I grew up for 7 years of my life..with maids around..doin things for us..for me..
When I came here..my parents told us “we have to do things on our own now.. can’t depend on maids..”..
cuz they realized we won’t be independent then..
Oh how I loved helping my mom out..cookin rice..washin dishes while standing on a chair..vacuumin and moppin e floor with the music on listenin to JORDY with my bro..at an age of 7 & 10..
I think..no..I know..I’m proud to have learned that all..N I knew how well-groomed I’d be when I’m bigger..NOW...
I don’t know why..but as I grew up.. I became lazy..a PROCRASTINATOR..MESSY..laid back[would take things as they come]..[but not grotty!]when before..I was a freak at almost about anything that’s gotta do about cleanliness..and studies..
It’s not what mom had taught me n kuya[bro]..
She’s always been damn friggin clean! She can’t leave the house or stay in the house without cleanin..she’d freak out [aaaaahhh!!!]...
Til today..oh well..~MOMS~!

my HARD FALL..i let cikgu down [II]

My Malay subject is one..
Ok.. REWIND
“I can remember how I loved studying..doin assignments..goin school..learnin new things..touchin books..” In primary 1..was supposed to take Chinese cuz my folks wanted me to..but the principal suggested that malay would be a better subject for me..at least I wouldn’t and won’t have any difficulty on the writing...of course..I agreed..

I enjoyed learning malay in primary 1 til about primary 4?..den I lost interest.. duno why..
I can still remember how excited I was everytime I had tuition..cuz I couldn't wait to learn new words..sometimes I’d even look at my brother’s assignments and try to answer em..
I can honestly say that I was quite a geek last time..I would touch all books..well, literally not all…
I just loved answering all the blanks on every page!Be it English, Math, Science..WHATEVER!
Loved swimming..piano..sketching..parties[every weekend]..sports[basketball]
I don’t know why..as I grew up..things didn’t make my life..well..funNER..as I thought it would..in-friggin-stead..it made my life..funLESS...
Somehow..somewhere, I just lost it..I’ve no idea when..and how..but yea..I just lost track and 'til now I’m strugglin to get back..

I always tell myself, "I’ll do it. I know I can..and I will..not cuz I should..but it's for my own good future.."
I realised that I’m only good at words..sayin things without doin em..
My words are shoutin way louder than how my actions should be..
I keep reassuring people that ima do my best..not JUST TRY..but DO..
But in the end..well..I..fail...Of course..failure is where we learn..pick ourselves up..do our best not to get back the result that we had..instead..we improve on em..yada..yada..yada..I already know all that..but I just don't apply it on myself..I guess many of us are like that..[oh c'mon...aaadmit it! lol]But yea..so I’m just one of you people..

my HARD FALL..i let cikgu down [III]

So yea..from primary 5 onwards..i kept floppin my Malay..
I guez I’m only good at beginnings..when you’re half way there…u give up..Halfway through..I gave up all my passions n hobbies..
Parties..sports..drawing..piano…swimming..
Of corz there’s a reason behind SOME of it..as to why I just gave up..It’d be pretty long to explain..but long story short..
Parties = grew outta it..started to hate goin out toooo
Sports =[gosh!] influenced by my new classmates who weren’t into PE!..so juz lost my stamina day by day from the day I stepped into this sec school!!
Drawing/sketching, piano = geez…lost interest..BUT REGRETTING..CUZ I WAN IT BACK! SO DAMN BADLY!
Swimming = dang!!! I was brought into the adult pool and I freaked out..almoz drowned..[had to cry in fronna my dad to let me quit!]

ANYHHHWAY! In sec 1..cikgu Roz told me to buck up..read malay books..newspapers..whatever sources to improve on my malay..& I NODDED..
Nex yr..sec2…sec 3…said the same thing..did the same thing..
But did I do what she said? NUH-UH! Not so.. Well..I did..I tried to read..but as I did, the words just became meaningless to me! meaning I couldn’t understand…
I felt like I was going blind..cuz I really duno what I was reading anymore..though I understood some of what was happening..

Then sec 4..mr Abdullah..I can’t say his teaching was boring..
But I guez I got used to cikgu’s teaching..stern..quiet..pressured..[hard u noe!]
And the people around me were always dozing off!
So of course..the tendency is that you’d be driven by it..not sayin I got myself into it..anyway..the room was right below..so really..the environment wasn’t at all that good! Oh well..

Now sec 5...back to cikgu’s teaching methods!
Happy yet..well..pressured!..haha! [liked it..but ye..]
It’s really not easy..I kept telling myself I wont let em down..
But I was still relaxed..like this school[students..not the teachers] has always been...lazy..procras-ers..laid back..geez..what a place..only a few are really determined not to get themselves get hooked by the fishing rod..
Though I know I cant blame this school…cuz I know every school I go to would be damn the same..maybe except for the top schools...

my HARD FALL..i let cikgu down [IV]

Did my malay 0’s on mon,290506..
How did I fair? Oh gosh! Dun ask!
I let cikgu down..I SUCK!!!
I know why..I didn’t take her advices..go in..go out..

I have this tense feeling when I see cikgu Roz..I’d keep quiet n all..
Cuz she’s really someone I admire..she’s good..she’s cool..
But I didn’t show her how big of a fan I was of her..
I cried..yes I did..cuz I was stupid..I let her down..
She’s too dedicated in her students..not really work..
I saw that..cuz she’d NEVER absent herself from school for no reason..even if she’s sick..like now!!!
I saw her passion in sharing her knowledge with us..
How I wish I can turn back the friggin time and redo my mistakes..right from primary school..yep! primary school..where I began to keep falling…

It’s really hard..and damn pain..I can’t redo what’s done..all I can do is improve on it..but the problem is I dunno how to get it back..
Yes..yes..step by step..slowly..i know!
But still can’t..
Then u’ll probably say..”patience…”
Patience! When is it gonna come back to me? how long will I have to be friggin patient? When my results are out? “failed” oh me gaaawsh…
Cannot la! wahlau!
Every night since sec 3..my bedtime prayer..I’d always remind Him to give me confidence..determination..strength..
I did get it..but only for awhile..
I know what He gives me is only the starter..then I gotta run it myself..but, oh well...
I guez..if we really want our determination back..even if we’re wounded by the hook of the fishin rod..we gotta let ourselves out and heal ourselves and voila! Ur alive again...movin on..

Hmm..I say so much..but if I could only apply it to myself..geee...

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded

at least i look a lil fairer than shahir here..haha!!!

haha...i remmbr mr raj asked..."ANYMORE QNS...OK MY TURN...Y IS UR NOSE FLAT?"

ok fine! so it's FLAT! but at least it ain't as bad as A...gaaahhhhh...nvm..hahahaha...jeluz ryt?!

Heritage Tour part2

bummed out...aft the "LOOOOONG" heritage tour..haha...

Hairee...u e mayyyyn...

hahaha! look at joanna's face...

hudat? behind us?

SHTOOPID DICKIE FACE! e 1 in e middle..

thinkin..
i loooiikkee
headless...
i DON'T looiiikeee
haha...watever