yp

yayay!!! last day of dance...awww, im prolly gonna miss balestier people.
aaaanyway, im supposed to be in the practice now. shitz! starts at 10. ugh.
hmmm, those who wanna watch...heres the details

Where: Youth Park
When: Tuesday, 17/06/08, 5pm

feed me with love

Emm...
Happy Thanksgiving.
Turkeyless.
in fact, no celebration at all.
work work work -_-
but anyways, it really isnt a catholic event.

i did, however spend the day with the class. i think its our third official class outing, while its my first; since i missed the first class movie outing and the chalet. ahee. as i dont like changes, im still known for being a ditch-er. although i didnt today, coz actually some ditched us, saying theyre goin, theyre goin and ultimately, they had other plans. o_~ i already know how it feels like being ditched. although its fun when i ditch people, lol. it sucks to be me. hmm, im pleased to see that there are some improvements among the quiet and timid ones in the class. though i feel that some are still reluctant to join and are aloof with the rest, or maybe just towards me? haha! i should break their ices harder! and deeper! lol. deeper bebeh, deeper! nyahahahaha!

on to the 7th week of 2nd sem, and im already detesting school! well, since first week, frankly speaking. all because of networking. fucking module. nothing ever goes into my head. ive nothing against gremars teaching nor esthers; the problem lies with me. i dont know why my brain just dont wanna save the informations being fed or downloaded into me. its... shtewpedd! and visual basic too! the only lesson im enjoying is computing maths. omg! puhleeeze dont fail me on that one! im loving it, so dont ruin my joy! and to think, im plannin to take networking in my second year! and already, my performance is doin disappointingly unsatisfactorily! and at the rate were goin, from having to know the smallest part of the computer to making it run, is really makin me go berserk with all the sheyts about computers! time is really passing soooo fucking fast and the lecturers are just teaching for the sake of teaching, making sure theyre either ahead - or on time with the schedule, not bothering whether or not, we fucking dig their every word is driving me insanely off the deep end! its whats makin me slack, lose interest, fall off track and divert my time into something i enjoy more. i get either so lethargic or restless. ugh! i feel i really need to repair my own computer; upgrade my RAM, flash bios, and processor. i feel like im still running on a celeron. sigh.

you are in it

image extracted from my fav duhling slut, yijuan.

edited by me, hehe.

i cant believe after being her classmate for 3years+ [since sec3] she still dont know how to spell my surname! prolly becoz she always pronounce it as "ferrari" or "ferrero". well, either shes just playin dumb with my surname or she really dont know how to spell my surname -_-. but im wondering why shes got lei-lei's name perfectly! ugh! even ishams names wrong. haha.
funneh, funneh funneh funneh.

hmmm, i think its harmlessly harmless to say that aidas been very horny lately. haha! shes always singin "im hornneh, hornneh hornneh hornneh/so hornneh, hornneh hornneh hornneh" and is always [should i say] keen to talk about those. tsktsktsk. and to think, shes the baby of the class. ouh well, shes a growing child and is in a NEED to learn more about these kinda things. and all i can do is, *chuckle*chuckle*chuckle*. well, yesterday we had a 'girl talk' part one which consisted of only tufha, me and her plus cassan. and today 'girl talk' part two with me, her, yijuan, pearlyn, jiawen and huiting. sad larr, no tufha. she couldve been our example in so many things. haha! thereve been more girl talks but with some boys before actually; but i just cant count how many times. so let me take this as the official.
whatevvaaaaaaah.


sigh. i miss you t-r-u-c-k-l-o-a-d-s too Kris G.! sigh. if only, if only! ugh! soon! soon! okaye? okaye? like 8years time?! haha! crap. ouh well. time will come when i get out of here. and fulfill my to-do-list.

nostalgia

gee-whee, i sounded pretty dumb at my last post. very dumb.
its just that in this kind of work, im used to being just the member; being told what to do. well, whatever the whatever, i told myself i want to be a more responsible person, being able to handle both myself and my team, so i hope i can make this lil project work. its really not that big of a deal. but since i havent touched on this side of my personality and growth for a long time, ill make it that big of a deal. at least for myself. lol. [serious sia joanne] and yah i just HOPE that those four people will co-operate uh. if not, ill cry buckets and pails and containers and vessels of - whatever.

sigh.
i feel sooo. . .rigid at school now. because when i want to go crazy, i cant. because the people there arent like me. haha. i mean, i just miss 5/1. i cant get loud because i cant find someone to go really really frantic with, besides yi juan, whom i guess would sometimes find me "weird". haha! so i just try to shut the fuck up whenever i feel like letting loose. i get noisy for a few seconds then will eventually die down, which makes me feel and become even weirder...ahee. sigh.

and if you observe, time has really been passing by so fast i feel i cant keep up. it seemed like, just a few weeks or months ago, we were all stoked about our then-upcoming grad night, talking bout the event, concentrating more on the night rather than the big Os. the times when everybody were gan chiongs enough to window-shop for their dresses/suits; for as early as may/june [6months before the night].
**snap back to reality** its the near end of 2007. gawsshhh.

i just miss everybody. i miss being a kid. i miss being scolded by teachers. i miss eating ice cream in the playground. i miss running around the school compound. i miss visiting our dental clinic for regular checkups. i miss writing slam books/diaries. i miss the boyband times. i miss the "you friend her? i dont friend you!" times. and once again, i miss my bloody old bestfriend. if theres a wish i could wish for right at this moment, itd be to take me back to that time and just live it all over again so this time i can cherish the moments better. and to also make amendments to whatever it is i should have not done at all.

gee, i just hate moments like this. the emoting moments -_-

kaaa-ching!

hmmm...
something to rant about.
im not really complaining - but i totally objected to becoming one leader of a group, for a few judicious, reasonable reasons.
one. i havent handled one in ages
two. im not INTO being one - at all
three. im irresponsible [i cant handle no sheyt]

only one thing came to my mind when they chose me; they all dont want the responsibility and since i was the oldest among em, they found someone they can dump the responsibility or "dependence" on. tahha. but on a lighter note, im just tellin myself, leader=just a name/position; dont really have to tell em what to do, thats a whole load of crap. and yah, if ever do, itll be a good thing for me. but nah, prolly wont. im too laid back to become a real fucking leader, tahha. ill just roll my eyes non stop. @_@ actually i was laffing inside. i was like, jojo? me? leader? MUAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHA! okaye. thats just lame. -_-
not that ive never been a leader, im just used to being a leader who just "shake-leg", haha! just relek-one-korner! yah, well, in other words, a useless leader. wakakaka. well, well see if i change. i did warn em, but they said they "dont care". theyre prolly used to havin "heck-care" leaders.

geez. well, its great catching up with wier. ol times. mutual feeling over the people in yfc. lol. whatever them.

gaaaaah! and one more thing, i feel like... hahha! actually i cant explain what it is either. sheeeeez! like eff sia. *blushes* aheeee.
ouhkaye,
uber aaand out!

heat it up

pissed at mahself for missin 3classes on wed.
stewfeed menses gotta come at the wrong time!
tried crawlin outta the sack but the spasm turned me down and buried me in bed.
hooe well.

~thur~
went to lunch at clems after VB class, rowben joined us. went back for jpi lesson only to find out that instead of a 2.5hrs of lesson, we only had 1h and it wasnt a lesson; purely babbling moment for us, ahee.
was a lil bugged when ms suryani asked for volunteers for a something next thursday and when no one did, she looked at the IC members and was sort of forcing us. when she finally talked me and aida out of that sheyt, we gave in. -_-" i was really not sincere. but when she got 4boys from the other class, she finally let us go. becoz she found out that were gonna be missin mr soongs class and she knew soong wouldnt let us go. now thats a breather! i didnt volunteer cuz id miss a lesson. and nuh-uh. ive always hated missin lessons! especially this sem.

anyhow...went home with juan, lei and aids. aids and i were initially talkin bout our grossy childhood stuff; poo, earwax, mucus, etc. hahaha! well, mostly mine! haha! then we four had a convo i never had in a long time, hahaha! a topic me and clique10 would always end up with; sex. ahh, well, twasnt much of a sex topic, ahee. but yea. i dont know who started it though. suddenly juan said that those with periods tend to get horni-er?! i doubt so cuz i wasnt! and if i was, i wouldve told you i was, you freak!

didnt wanna blog but im really bored out of my gourd, just gotta type somethin out!


nurdz! i wanna play with your bike! since last sem man!
lee, whenya bringin me out man!

patience

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENNDY!

hmmm...again, it was brought up by mom after brunch.
it started with me sharin bout how my friend whos in MI and i are gonna somehow meet in uni around the same time; because hes graduatin on the end of 2009 while i, on april 2009. hes goin ns before uni while i, poly then uni. i then mentioned how ns was a somewhat disadvantage for guys. and suddenly she just blurted how careless i was wasting time and money [me being in ite that is]. that pissed me so i "defended" myself and told her that if i was literally really wasting time and money in this two years in ite, then what would become of me later? isnt that an "even more" waste than "it already is"? so she meant that me being in ite is a waste of time and money? so what about the knowledge im getting? the things im learning now? am i wasting my time doin all that? i really am making full use of my time and money in ite yknow. i admitted that yes, i became over confident in sec school and somehow my overconfidence brought me here in ite to teach me to keep my feet on the ground even if i do well at certain times. you see, mom always has high hopes for me. and just because she was used to me always doin well, rarely makin mistakes [in general], that it is so hard for her to accept that ive fallen. since pri school, she knew i could excel but i didnt because of my overconfidence. sometimes it makes me think if shes ashamed of me being in ite. sheesh. i know before, i told myself i will not step into ite because i know i could do better than going there but when i got here, it changed my views of ite. yea, all the secondary students and teachers and the whole singapore think that ite is that bad because of the people who are in it. i agree, i somewhat dreaded comin here because of peoples characters that we all mostly see in public. but there arent any of such here in dover and im grateful for that. i dont know about the other campuses but here in dover, the people i see arent the people i expected to be, because here, they have hopes of moving forward. now thats what gave me a chance to get up again. ite is not bad at all if thats what you people think.

well anyway, on the contrary, i do know what mom meant by wasting time and money. she is afraid that we may not be able to graduate from uni because they cannot promise that they will still have their jobs at that time. yes, we are permanent residents here and yes, they both have pretty good jobs but i know, we are still foreigners. meaning, they can still hire a local rather than keeping them because they prioritize their citizens. i know that. its what fears me too. and the thought of me working to save some money so i could somehow help them isnt in their favour because as much as possible, they dont want me to work while i study and if i work, theyd rather i be in office than serving people. geez. so really, what choice do i have? at this point i dont know. but well see when im done in ite. perhaps itll help me get a better job, i have no idea what kind but yea.

i know i wasted my time that i have to be demoted rather than promoted which really cost more but if support is what i get, then maybe itll help so much more. i know youre just concerned but you should really try to be more optimistically concerned.

surprises

BOOYAH!!!!
first of all, id like to thank abang fir for last mondays raya-cookies and fridays treat too! and tufha for the cookies too! wee!!! alright. and my neighbor for the cookies too and im still waiting for another - for the cookies too! haha! cmon bebeh! give em to meh! ahakz! kiddin. i love treats! theyre so fun! like fun-fun!
first week of second sem, fun! like fun-fun! lol. whatevah!

ya know, i was pretty ecstatic on friday that when i got home to nap, i didnt know that at that moment when i was feeling ouh-so-fine, people were screeching and squealing, running for their lives; glorietta2 had an explosion. it was a heart-wrenching moment the moment i received a message from dadda. i suddenly remembered aunt tere and her boutique. and then i got relieved when i remembered that she was located at glorietta4. but, sigh! its still pretty astonishingly unbelievable to really hear of such. like, i could still recall how i would always take a stroll in that beautiful mall. and suddenly, *poof* a part of it, ka-boomed! like dayyyym! i spent like a month in that mall everyday, cuz i was always with aunt, tending her shop, but mostly walkin around, gettn to know the damn bloody big mall. sigh. and just two days after the explosion, sunday, a fire broke out in a resto at glorietta4! aww-mahh-gahh! luckily it was at second floor. hmmm, why glorietta mall? geez. that wasnt the first time. years ago there was an explosion there too. sheesh. what is wrong with you people? really bored eh? nothing to do? wanna rebel? haiz. if you wanna rebel, please dont involve the innocents mann! like really, thats just lame! lol.

what a waste because i think the phils is never gonna rise over poverty. because of corruption. because of greed. sad. there are millions and trillions of filos who have great dedications of rising up because there are truckloads that are talented and really hardworking but all these hopes of soaring are wrecked because of the greedy users. there are politics whereever you turn to. because of all these, people are forced to do stupid things they never wanted to do; crimes. sheesh. dont the govt ever wonder how imprudent they are? how selfish? avaricious? they always talk about how filos should get together and be ONE and all when they never really keep their promises in the first place, in the end, they only think about gettin rich themselves. sheesh! dont they pity those filas abroad working as dh? many filas turn to dh bacuz they have no choice but to leave home just to feed their fam. many do not know that these filas are almost done with college! if not for the lack of money to pay for their last few semesters, they wouldnt need to do such things. but bacuz of the need to survive, they suck up their pride and are forced to enter such jobs, which many people take advantage of; being mistreated. sad.
and gawsh, i actually couldnt believe when i got to know that glorias dads time of presidency, phils was actually doin well, like really well and was even known as "The Incorruptible". but geez, dunno what happened to the daughter. like awww. sad. itd be a miracle if one day there will be another incorruptible president.

ahh, well. im grateful im far away from the messy place though my love for my own people will still stay intact. and i do sympathize them for havin to live with bad people! sheesh! like! really! hahaha! from cookies to explosion to politics! ahihihihi. how randomly linked. teehee! ive always hated politicians. the bad ones!

boys...

currently: CRAVING
craving for: fried mee siam!

ahahha! you know huwaat!? i just remembered the times i was at fida's crib. and the part that i was eating mee siam made me crave. heres the thing: i didnt know the name so i had to ask kawans and as if i wasnt satisfied enough, i went to google it! and then i saw it! OMG!!! lol. so the that one lor. but yea. whenever i crave for something thats pretty impossible for me to get at that point of time, id google it c(= teehee!

that aside, been back to school! 2nd day, cuz yesterday was holiday cuz of hari raya i think. werent suppose to have classes on monday too but they couldnt inform us earlier. lol.
so yeah, new sem, new lecturers, new modules, new timetable. pretty fun! gotta admit, the 5-week break did really nothing good to me; rusted my brain only! wahleooo. well, i know i will get sick of school anytime soon, even if im all excited now and how much i am looking forward to learn more, teehee. i will only get sick of school when i finally am lost in my studies or i just cant catch up oooor yarrr. like that. lol.
in school, there are two filo lecturers, and this sem, mr gremar is takin us! kool. he speaks funny singlish; i mean his pronunciation, teehee! like like like! when he speaks, he speaks like a thai or vietnamese or burmese or cambodian?! lol! he doesnt speak filo-english! like, really. haha! like his accents got the whole mix of those thai, etc, with fillish and adding some singlish; lah, lei, lor, mah, meh, etc. ahihihi! besides him being a joker, youd already laugh at his accent before he even cracks a joke. lol. okaye, i dont know how that sounded to ya but yea, i fooind it ha-la-ri-yes! ok lar! lol! funny me! am i funny? lol, whatever.
im just happy to be back in school and asking people favors, most especially abang firdaus! ahihihi!

the timetables not as beautiful as the first sems but im kool widdit, kinda miss leaving late from school. i just hate peak hours, really. emm, second day of second sem and ive been a good girl, doin some practices unlike before where i just totally put everything aside, ahahahaha. i am not that of a geek as i was in pri school. haha. everything fell apart when i came to CDSS. lol. lalala. never mind, im catchin up!!! yeah baby! aight! im just STOKED! really! hahaha.

yeahuh-uhhuh-uhhuh

hell-er...gewd emmm...mownen.

sigh. my bedtimes ruined again. i gotsta keep adjusting! sigh. ive been sleeping around 12-1am to 3-4am everyday til 630am yesterday. then i woke up at 12. gawsh. i cant keep doin this cuz classes are gonna start on monday and i just dont wanna go to school lookin all shabby, like gee. sigh. how sad. plus im havin ulcer too ;(

okaye, like sooo whatever that...i so totally remember something. ive been wanting to say this, but't just keeps slippin off my mind. sheesh! okaye, whenever i see papa piolo, only one person comes to my mind, "nurhazwan bin i-dont-know-what", lol. everytime i watch piolo pascual on tv; the way he speaks, acts and laughs and not fergett'n, looks is just like hazwan. awww, how cute right?! piolo pascual is like [if not all], almost every filo gals' dreamboy...or man rather. lol. andandand. hazwan is the closest piolo i have. hahaha! but the only thing is, no hes not my dreamboy. hes just my ultimate crush when comes to appearance. or maybe the crushest of my crushes. hahaha. coincidentally, he texted me a few hours ago. ohmyfuckingGee. like i really miss those days. i mean, who the hell wouldnt crush on a boy like him? hes a gentleman, he was from NCC, and he was a jock! [captain of the soccer team!] but the fact that i like him being a sweet-talker, its what disgusts me on boys who are like that. haha, here i go again. but nah, im just stating how similar he is to piolo; looks-and-being-a-gentleman-wise at least. im like so kilig-to-the-max. haha. okaye, stop it! ok, some statistics. today alone, in the span of 3hours; 2300-0200, 3lovely guy friends o'mine asked about my status, in total of 5days, 4boys and a gal. the most coincidental thing is this 2people, askin that same question within an hour. and the best thing is...

well,heres a coupla pics of piolo. u can find hazwans at my friendster. tahha, like youll even bother!

*bom chicka wah wah*

you miss me ;-)

wake up!!! do ur thanggg...

*stoning*...

~{girlishness}~
psssssst!!! my hs crush called last night. haha.

~{back to normal}~
what an ass...i miss the days already. sorry but i hope the next time, i'll be able to make it. haha, only deedee met up with faie and mirul, attendance: 3/10. ouh well, still got next time :) hope it'll be 10/10!
glad to have heard from you again though. it's been like, gazillion years already you mofo sheyt! i miss the guys too! wonder how louhan's hair's like now, wakakaka.

~{girlishness}~

aww, i'm pretty happy to hear the voice of the previous CDSS soccer team captain! and most especially, who once haddd something fo...uhh

N-NNE-NEVER MIND! i'm just too overwhelmed; got carried away, teehee.

~{back to normal}~

i feel like goin back to those days where you guys were still wearing "low-shorts", mirul burn'n his leg hair [busok giler siol!] and kelly's too [she got kinda mad] one time and hasbullah rebelling on the teachers; most especially mrs viswa [aka penguin] and and and making mr siow [aka einstein] cry after all the bullies and the throwing of papers at him and just giving him a hellavafuckinhardtime teaching! *pants*

~{girlyly}~
we were so young back then! so cute and all [well, except for mie at least *humble* =p]
*sigh* memories...how i wish i can relive them, and maybe ditch vans for him.

~{back to normal}~
haha. kiddin'...
PS FIDADOTDOTDOT...FYI, HE'S NOT MY "ALL-TIME CRUSH", JUST "THE HS CRUSH" :)

fuck sheyt. i racked out last night at 2am and mom woke me up at 6 to see her off and then jumped back in to dream more dreams but but couldn't get back to lala land...lerrrr...so i got up and've been on the screen since then. 'i want candy' is a great flick. dunno why i actually have to go out and squander my bread when i can just sit my tush and watch 'erre. ouh yea, it's "the friends". i forgot, hehe. quality time with friends is important. lalala. whatevurr. just kidd'n. okaye lah.

~{girlylyly}~
movie postponed to monday cuz of my fucking zits. *sigh* hope it's gone by then.
aww, i know my skin is never that flawless anyway. but still, zits just makes it all even worse! it's already bad, enya still wanna make it worse! *sheesh* pick someone pretty will ya?! we ugly gals dun deserve extra sheyt to just give us more hard time on looking neutrally well! *ughhh*

~{back to normal}~
fuck! i feel i've been experiencing famine this week. e'rrbody's busy, no food to scoff, lazy to walk all the fucking way to greenridge to buy food, no sheyt, no dosh, no FUN larr!!! *ugggghh* i've literally no one to depend on! folks come home late, so i can't bug em to buy me sheyt, arch camp [duh], friends...well, i live too damn far for them to even drop by, say hi, [and if so happens, fortunately] with some food on their hands! *sigh* but too bad.

plus plus, dad called at 730+ to inform that there was a quake. city area felt the tremors and north side too i guess? well, it's either bukit panjang actually also felt it or was i just "feelingless"...aww shux! wasted! i missed it. i haven't experienced such sheyt!

*sheesh* this week's been a disaster already! well, maybe except for a few events. but really, the worst disaster i guess is famine [lol, what a bad word to use]. okaye! owwwtta herre.

knock on my door and say "hello" and we'll dance crazy

here here dawdling on the second day...but not til a slack-jaw fortunately, i'm not the worst y'know!


~~

ninang genie and i're plannin for kuzzie giannina's 18th birthday come next early april...kuzz jen wants to celebrate her Debut here. so i guess it's a project for joanne.
"ProJiDy" is what i should call it; as in ProjJD, just like the planner's a prodigy!

kool ey? [cuz i'm DANK like that!]


~~

ouh, i got 86 for MME test 2weeks ago. lol, im swanking...was too lazy to brag about it last week. lol. wf?!
but but i think for CMO's exam yesterday...is gonna be a fluff. :( hope not though. imagine, all my tests i did well, but this exam...*sigh* only because i procrastinated on my revision. ouh well, sheyt sheyt.


~~

chalet next week. stoked bout'it! but but i dunno howzit gonna turn out. hope it doesn't bore me. please don't? anyone can come meet me. gonna tell you the addy and you can come peep if you're too shy to meet me. just don't stalk me aight? not til i'm stark-naked in the bath...wakakaka! dancing my ass in'erre.

catcha later!