subtly exposed

something ive always thought im obliged to share my feelings about years ago never happened and wont ever. since ive blown all my rights to speak out about that matter; which i so firmly opposed to and still do, yet i am forever bounded by and shorn of that right. and i loathe myself for breaking my principle. and i know that even if i express contrition, it would not restore the right i once proudly owned and could shout out to the world. i have become a whited sepulcher to those whom ive concealed the veracity from. and most likely, even if against my will, will i have to uphold it and bring to my grave; with only a couple of hominids being aware of the fact. i am still in uncertainty if they have not leaked out any information about the shared secrecy. for i have sworn to be the soul of your discretion to anybody regardless the acquaintanceship of either parties. my only demand is you do the same.

brotherness you gave me

i miss thiru...
im a lil gloomy because i cant find a thiru in my current class. i have a sam but hes not in my class :( so far pidoz and leilei, but im not yet close with them because i think they are shy. haha! kidding. just that, thiru has taken care of me and was really my closest friend and im gonna cry if hes leavin for ns. and ill prolly gonna start call him again every night or so. haha, i havent been on the phone with him for ages. cuz why? im shy! to use the phone! haha! crap! but really i hate phone convos now. lol. dunno why. anyways, i just love having brothers around because i feel protected. and thiru, really really. if sams to be my classmate, then cool! id be happy to have another brother. but dont worry thiru, ull always be thiru, no ones gonna take over you. sams being sam and no ones gonna be another sam. haha! im so emoing now. thiruuuuu where are you, seems like its been forever that youve been gone. haha! fussole.

beside you

its tough to lose someone who took care of you, saw you grow up and loved you so much. i do not like going through that; cuz it makes you weakens and it sometimes makes you sink. OUR STRENGTH IS OUR WEAKNESS AND OUR WEAKNESS IS OUR STRENGTH. theyre where you obtain your strength from when youre at your weak point but its also where your weakness comes from. i very much envy you people; for your relatives are just here with yall. when someone passes on, you can be with them til their very end. while i, through their hard times til their very last breath til theyre buried, the urge and desire that i have, to be with them, i cannot get. just because we are apart. but its also why i can let go easily; the distance and time for us both wasnt there. i do not like seeing people take their loved ones for granted because if only i could steal away their opportunity to be with their loved ones, i would. although, me moving on easily makes me feel guilty; just because i wasnt with them, while i talk to the people who were with them still grieving. from the time i came here til now, ive lost 5 immediate family members and none of which, gave me the chance to see them off, which made me move on easily, which i think, made my cousins think i wasnt taking it seriously, which made me have guilty conscience.

ouh well, nuff of the loquaciousness.
i can see you try to smile, suppressing the tears. and im happy you can do that. you being a guy, i was heartened when you said its extremely hard to accept that shes gone. i may not say much and the silence really makes me feel the sadness youre going through. like yijuan said, we are here for you.

you are in it

image extracted from my fav duhling slut, yijuan.

edited by me, hehe.

i cant believe after being her classmate for 3years+ [since sec3] she still dont know how to spell my surname! prolly becoz she always pronounce it as "ferrari" or "ferrero". well, either shes just playin dumb with my surname or she really dont know how to spell my surname -_-. but im wondering why shes got lei-lei's name perfectly! ugh! even ishams names wrong. haha.
funneh, funneh funneh funneh.

hmmm, i think its harmlessly harmless to say that aidas been very horny lately. haha! shes always singin "im hornneh, hornneh hornneh hornneh/so hornneh, hornneh hornneh hornneh" and is always [should i say] keen to talk about those. tsktsktsk. and to think, shes the baby of the class. ouh well, shes a growing child and is in a NEED to learn more about these kinda things. and all i can do is, *chuckle*chuckle*chuckle*. well, yesterday we had a 'girl talk' part one which consisted of only tufha, me and her plus cassan. and today 'girl talk' part two with me, her, yijuan, pearlyn, jiawen and huiting. sad larr, no tufha. she couldve been our example in so many things. haha! thereve been more girl talks but with some boys before actually; but i just cant count how many times. so let me take this as the official.
whatevvaaaaaaah.


sigh. i miss you t-r-u-c-k-l-o-a-d-s too Kris G.! sigh. if only, if only! ugh! soon! soon! okaye? okaye? like 8years time?! haha! crap. ouh well. time will come when i get out of here. and fulfill my to-do-list.

its the that

hmmm, finally got to chop my hair off! i first used a garden shear to trim 2inches off then a steak-knife and a small-bread-knife to layer it. and voila! well, at least no more split ends but still got dry hair shia! like fuck. i hate my hair larrr. buy so many treatment sheyt all useless -_- but anyways. i dont like my hair now. but gee. whatevvvaaaaaaah.

ouh. emm. ANNOUNCEMENT
my beloved thirus leaving for NS in a months time, 14th Dec. so hes COMMANDing to have a "farewell" party. before we "bury" him alive. he wants a picnic at the beach. and he wants to suntan -_- i told him hes gettin free suntan at camp. well, as his "dying" wish, his wish is HIS command. so to all thirus friends and family, youre all cordially invited to thirus farewell picnic-at-the-beach party. in fact hes already makin handmade invitations for all of us. so i guess we shall all wait to receive it. you guys just bring baskets and thiru will bring the food then well all meet up at the beach and thiru can then put the food into the baskets and then whatever. you can bring your own stuff. im probably just gonna bring my BIG baby TAZ so he can thank thiru for getting him off that Mini Toons shelf and bringin him under my HECK care. haha! just kiddin.

ummm...im hungry. emmm...yar, yesterday i watched the THE BIG BANG THEORY. cooooool uuuuh. urrrr...tomorrow got pe. ammmm... im lame. uhhhh, im outta here! laters!

ouh geez...

sigh. its a pity how much you put in so much effort in your friendship when you dont get any in return. i guess the problem is that, with all the friendships we all have been through, weve been sort of like traumatized by the bad incidences so like, the trust that we have for our friends kinda depletes. which is also brought forward when we meet new ones. ouh well. its really hard to find real friends even if you love each other. loving each others not enough. saying the words i love you is not enough. how can you say you love them when the simple things like sharings, you cant even do? you even try to HIDE or deny. aint that sick? and the worst thing is, you label your friendship as something special. shtewpid fake people. cut the fucking crap man. there are friends who have been a very loyal friend to their friends and they help whenever they fucking can. and the simple thing they ask for in return, is also your trust, you cant even give. like its a one-sided trust. its shtewped when you tell a friend youve lost trust in the rest and that person is the only one you trust. but the way you act is as if you dont fully trust him/her too, even when you said you do? gosh. you have some issues man. like when he/she opens up and then when he/she feels somethings wrong with you, you shut him/her out like he/shes a nobody. geez. get a life.

nostalgia

gee-whee, i sounded pretty dumb at my last post. very dumb.
its just that in this kind of work, im used to being just the member; being told what to do. well, whatever the whatever, i told myself i want to be a more responsible person, being able to handle both myself and my team, so i hope i can make this lil project work. its really not that big of a deal. but since i havent touched on this side of my personality and growth for a long time, ill make it that big of a deal. at least for myself. lol. [serious sia joanne] and yah i just HOPE that those four people will co-operate uh. if not, ill cry buckets and pails and containers and vessels of - whatever.

sigh.
i feel sooo. . .rigid at school now. because when i want to go crazy, i cant. because the people there arent like me. haha. i mean, i just miss 5/1. i cant get loud because i cant find someone to go really really frantic with, besides yi juan, whom i guess would sometimes find me "weird". haha! so i just try to shut the fuck up whenever i feel like letting loose. i get noisy for a few seconds then will eventually die down, which makes me feel and become even weirder...ahee. sigh.

and if you observe, time has really been passing by so fast i feel i cant keep up. it seemed like, just a few weeks or months ago, we were all stoked about our then-upcoming grad night, talking bout the event, concentrating more on the night rather than the big Os. the times when everybody were gan chiongs enough to window-shop for their dresses/suits; for as early as may/june [6months before the night].
**snap back to reality** its the near end of 2007. gawsshhh.

i just miss everybody. i miss being a kid. i miss being scolded by teachers. i miss eating ice cream in the playground. i miss running around the school compound. i miss visiting our dental clinic for regular checkups. i miss writing slam books/diaries. i miss the boyband times. i miss the "you friend her? i dont friend you!" times. and once again, i miss my bloody old bestfriend. if theres a wish i could wish for right at this moment, itd be to take me back to that time and just live it all over again so this time i can cherish the moments better. and to also make amendments to whatever it is i should have not done at all.

gee, i just hate moments like this. the emoting moments -_-

ouh yeah. i forgot to tell yous, on thursday, when i came late to school, i was somewhat proud to be one of the many to watch the airbus fly fly to sydney - on tvmobile, ahee. i was plannin to ditch school on that day to go to the airport but didnt bother to coz i already skipped school on wednesday, so what the hell, my plans always get screwed. ahaha. i remember watchin the makin of the A380 months ago. a really strenuous, gruesome work that finally paid off, *phew*. those ganchiong ones who cancelled orders, too bad. haha. no patience right! nehneh-nee-poopoo! bluueeeeeekkkk! ahakz.

~~
a boring halloween for me. doughless to party! id never spend my savings nor ask my folks coz it was never my habit to just ask, for my own pleasure. yeahyeah, call me thrifty and all, im just being frugal. besides, it aint me own money, hardwork or sweat. ouh well. instead of partyin with the clubbers, i went to a kiddie party; a seven-year-old party! ahee. a humdrum though! i was like -_-"
but at least my primary school close mate, miao de spotted me, so it was fun catching up with him. lotssa youths raya-ing, sheesh. chilled with this boy in baju kurung then bumped into javz O_O at a bustop, then isham too in the lrt @_@! geez, didnt even bump into any gals i know, haha. well, thanks for the time, doode.

~~
hmm, its so nice to hear im being missed. yesyes, i miss you all too. i think thats whats good, yknow. like you, rarely seeing people, cuz then theyd miss you more than them always spending time with you, cuz itll just bore em? yah.

~~
and my dear friend, for a guy, youre so fragile. i guess that is why i never fell for you because youre worse than a girl, haha. nope, im not mocking you, i am just making you sturdier. but youre too pessimistic to even get the drift. you say youll change but i guess youll never and i cant do nothin bout that. i just wish you the best doode. but really, you cant dwell on things all the time; no wonder youre like that. and of course, like i said three years ago, i will be your friend. its what ive been doin ever since, but youre not helpin yourself. i gotta bear with your being a mangina over your ex-galfriend and i still am[tolerating], but my ears are really gettin retarded from all that same ol story of yours. but ouh well, nevertheless, im still here for you, i just hate the fact that you arent helping me help you help yourself! and youre always trying to expect. and...i can go on but hah! you already know what i mean. really, just get a grip.

~~
im thankful for the people who really love me bcoz im like fuckingly weird! haha! what the fuck. and yes i love you too. really i do. okaye! but dont take it the wrong way. i love you not only because you love me for me but i love you too because i love you. awww. aint that shuuuweeetzzz! ahakz. i know. and yes, imma wait for the freakin day we both can be totally free and you gonna take me for a drive round the island! i fuckin missed that like fuck! and aww, i miss "fuck"-ing too, haha! sheez. what? do i wanna chill with you? ouh, fo shizzle mah doozzle cuz i mizzle you like fuzzle! cmon! lets gezzle the fuzzle outta hezzle! aheeheehee!!!

heat it up

pissed at mahself for missin 3classes on wed.
stewfeed menses gotta come at the wrong time!
tried crawlin outta the sack but the spasm turned me down and buried me in bed.
hooe well.

~thur~
went to lunch at clems after VB class, rowben joined us. went back for jpi lesson only to find out that instead of a 2.5hrs of lesson, we only had 1h and it wasnt a lesson; purely babbling moment for us, ahee.
was a lil bugged when ms suryani asked for volunteers for a something next thursday and when no one did, she looked at the IC members and was sort of forcing us. when she finally talked me and aida out of that sheyt, we gave in. -_-" i was really not sincere. but when she got 4boys from the other class, she finally let us go. becoz she found out that were gonna be missin mr soongs class and she knew soong wouldnt let us go. now thats a breather! i didnt volunteer cuz id miss a lesson. and nuh-uh. ive always hated missin lessons! especially this sem.

anyhow...went home with juan, lei and aids. aids and i were initially talkin bout our grossy childhood stuff; poo, earwax, mucus, etc. hahaha! well, mostly mine! haha! then we four had a convo i never had in a long time, hahaha! a topic me and clique10 would always end up with; sex. ahh, well, twasnt much of a sex topic, ahee. but yea. i dont know who started it though. suddenly juan said that those with periods tend to get horni-er?! i doubt so cuz i wasnt! and if i was, i wouldve told you i was, you freak!

didnt wanna blog but im really bored out of my gourd, just gotta type somethin out!


nurdz! i wanna play with your bike! since last sem man!
lee, whenya bringin me out man!

deep inside

i miss my bestfriend, tasha. emmm, should i actually say former? hmm. yea. but no doubt, i still love her. even if we dwindled [we both know that], shes always been my loved one and still is. i dont mind that were not as before, as long as i know i still care for her. awkwardness is what we both felt but yeah. i still love her, really. heehee!

she used to be this cute chubby kid that when she smiles, shes like so fun to hug! hahaha! though when she got older, she got sexier. she aint that cute kid no more! hahaha! im not dissin her! im just sayin. ouh, i remember, we tried to match my bro and her sis, tierra which by the way was from cdss drama too! ahakz. thats really how we started out. yeah. good times.
and remember, ill always be here for you still.
i love you!

teehee, im just happy (:

surprises

BOOYAH!!!!
first of all, id like to thank abang fir for last mondays raya-cookies and fridays treat too! and tufha for the cookies too! wee!!! alright. and my neighbor for the cookies too and im still waiting for another - for the cookies too! haha! cmon bebeh! give em to meh! ahakz! kiddin. i love treats! theyre so fun! like fun-fun!
first week of second sem, fun! like fun-fun! lol. whatevah!

ya know, i was pretty ecstatic on friday that when i got home to nap, i didnt know that at that moment when i was feeling ouh-so-fine, people were screeching and squealing, running for their lives; glorietta2 had an explosion. it was a heart-wrenching moment the moment i received a message from dadda. i suddenly remembered aunt tere and her boutique. and then i got relieved when i remembered that she was located at glorietta4. but, sigh! its still pretty astonishingly unbelievable to really hear of such. like, i could still recall how i would always take a stroll in that beautiful mall. and suddenly, *poof* a part of it, ka-boomed! like dayyyym! i spent like a month in that mall everyday, cuz i was always with aunt, tending her shop, but mostly walkin around, gettn to know the damn bloody big mall. sigh. and just two days after the explosion, sunday, a fire broke out in a resto at glorietta4! aww-mahh-gahh! luckily it was at second floor. hmmm, why glorietta mall? geez. that wasnt the first time. years ago there was an explosion there too. sheesh. what is wrong with you people? really bored eh? nothing to do? wanna rebel? haiz. if you wanna rebel, please dont involve the innocents mann! like really, thats just lame! lol.

what a waste because i think the phils is never gonna rise over poverty. because of corruption. because of greed. sad. there are millions and trillions of filos who have great dedications of rising up because there are truckloads that are talented and really hardworking but all these hopes of soaring are wrecked because of the greedy users. there are politics whereever you turn to. because of all these, people are forced to do stupid things they never wanted to do; crimes. sheesh. dont the govt ever wonder how imprudent they are? how selfish? avaricious? they always talk about how filos should get together and be ONE and all when they never really keep their promises in the first place, in the end, they only think about gettin rich themselves. sheesh! dont they pity those filas abroad working as dh? many filas turn to dh bacuz they have no choice but to leave home just to feed their fam. many do not know that these filas are almost done with college! if not for the lack of money to pay for their last few semesters, they wouldnt need to do such things. but bacuz of the need to survive, they suck up their pride and are forced to enter such jobs, which many people take advantage of; being mistreated. sad.
and gawsh, i actually couldnt believe when i got to know that glorias dads time of presidency, phils was actually doin well, like really well and was even known as "The Incorruptible". but geez, dunno what happened to the daughter. like awww. sad. itd be a miracle if one day there will be another incorruptible president.

ahh, well. im grateful im far away from the messy place though my love for my own people will still stay intact. and i do sympathize them for havin to live with bad people! sheesh! like! really! hahaha! from cookies to explosion to politics! ahihihihi. how randomly linked. teehee! ive always hated politicians. the bad ones!

best friend

somehow, i still pine for the good ol times,
and at times, i still ask,
where did i go wrong, i lost a friend.
ill be frank, and if ever you ask me this,
ill still say,
i b-lame you for doin that.
but i still acknowledge you because you transformed me;
the way i look at friends arent alike as our times.
i never had another "best" because when i think what best really means,
i can never see anyone being that best enough for me;
where i could just let e-v-e-r-y single thing out;
even my deepest, darkest secret.
ive stopped believing i could still find a best friend,
bacoz you gave me that trepidation of being neglected and maybe even betrayed.
there are close friends - and ever since then,
that has already made me be gratified.
it is safer aint it?
not that i dont open up to em,
i do.
and i have confidants.
just not a best friend.
because i do not tell em every thing - like how id tell a best friend.
if i could clearly recall,
all these happened when we separated.
im not dwelling -
its just that whenever i think about our bubblegum younger times,
i cant help but to also dredge up what the fuck happened after that.
i doubt we can ever bring that back,
because perhaps weve both changed and its left a big gap.
but like i said,
youll still be a part of my life as youve always been,
bacoz youve taught me to be like this.
and i love you for that.
i just hope when our paths cross again in the near future,
we can be best friends again,
even for just that moment, with just that little brief hug.
and here ill tell you,
even if things are way too different for us both now,
i still love you like that.
ill always be here forever for you.

enjoy!

selamat hari raya serta maaf zahir dan batin kepada semua.

alright, greetings to all the muslims there. enjoy your celebration!
dont forget my cookies!? leave some for me and label the container "joanne". and then wrap in a hari raya wrapper if got uh, then see me in school then give me. and if can also, my green packet! teehee. im just kiddin! but i want the cookies larrr...
i love you people.

Belated Happy 18th to al-amin!
Happy 18th to aishah!

coming! coming!

if one day i have to leave,
i only want to say, thank you.
please do not anticipate everything to be
the same again when im back,
not unless you want me to feign,
which will only make everything shoddier.
i am still somewhat-terrified of what may happen.
i do not like the words you divulged
because i feel you arent even certain when you expressed that.
im not taking any more ventures
and no more investing,
for it is so over, period[.]
i dont want to be duped again
though i still care.
yet my concern is only limited to, as a person,
no more than that,
not even as a chum.
youre still a someone in my life,
for you have left a very big, rather deep mark in me,
throughout the years,
which makes it tough for me to just erase the dreadful moments.
but because weve also shared the good times,
the unpleasant ones arent enough for me to just abandon us.
i will not try,
i will do my best.
thank you.

~~silly-me~~
aww, so cute, haha! butbutbut, that was from the veryvery, bottombottom, insideinside, deepdeep, you-cannot-see-one-confirm-guarantee-with-chop of my heart! i know! im like shuuuweeeet like that. cuz im dank thats why. and you like right? i know...not. bluek! hurhurhur. and puhleez, do not relate this to yourself just bacoz you think its about you, shameLESS you! harrharr.

haiz. im missing people. need not mention names, i think its mutual. you miss me, i miss you. but i think most of the time, its just YOU missing me, without me missing you back. ahakz. yarr, dont argue because i will not care cuz i n-e-v-e-r care.

for now, i WISH that someoneS will bring me Hari Raya cookies. i miss ros and ree and i-dont-know-who-else for sharing their Raya food with Joanne. ahakhakhak. hmmm, maybe i will give yall christmas cookies too. but too bad there aint such things for me. harhar. but maybe larr!

okaye, i L-O-V-E the weather tadday, so sunny, perfect for beach-ing. i just dont strip to bikinis thats all, because i dont have a hawtt-enuff body to flaunt. and i dont swim either bacoz, one, i dont like the ground, got the that thing arr...and two, i cant swim that well. but i CAN swim okaye! shut up you!

and okaye i will mention some of the people i miss but of whom actually, terribly miss me more than i miss em, teehee. deedee the big momma dino, feeda the crazy not-little-but-big sempret, ros the i-dont-know-how-to-describe-you-for-now but i love u, sabby the little-but-big-that-one makcik, emmm, lee the big guy, wan my crush haha, samster the nicest boy in town, thiru the whatever [you and sab were talking about me! yesterday!!!! hmphh!], ree the ass-i-also-dont-know-why-i-called-you-that, okaye, if i go on, i will fall asleep. but yes i miss more people aside from these mentioned 'uns. and yes i truly am the shameLESS daughter-of-a-not-beytch. im SAD because i didnt get to see the pizza delivery boy just now bacoz i was hooked by my show, shatewpid! i am crazy-dancing now.

yeahuh-uhhuh-uhhuh

hell-er...gewd emmm...mownen.

sigh. my bedtimes ruined again. i gotsta keep adjusting! sigh. ive been sleeping around 12-1am to 3-4am everyday til 630am yesterday. then i woke up at 12. gawsh. i cant keep doin this cuz classes are gonna start on monday and i just dont wanna go to school lookin all shabby, like gee. sigh. how sad. plus im havin ulcer too ;(

okaye, like sooo whatever that...i so totally remember something. ive been wanting to say this, but't just keeps slippin off my mind. sheesh! okaye, whenever i see papa piolo, only one person comes to my mind, "nurhazwan bin i-dont-know-what", lol. everytime i watch piolo pascual on tv; the way he speaks, acts and laughs and not fergett'n, looks is just like hazwan. awww, how cute right?! piolo pascual is like [if not all], almost every filo gals' dreamboy...or man rather. lol. andandand. hazwan is the closest piolo i have. hahaha! but the only thing is, no hes not my dreamboy. hes just my ultimate crush when comes to appearance. or maybe the crushest of my crushes. hahaha. coincidentally, he texted me a few hours ago. ohmyfuckingGee. like i really miss those days. i mean, who the hell wouldnt crush on a boy like him? hes a gentleman, he was from NCC, and he was a jock! [captain of the soccer team!] but the fact that i like him being a sweet-talker, its what disgusts me on boys who are like that. haha, here i go again. but nah, im just stating how similar he is to piolo; looks-and-being-a-gentleman-wise at least. im like so kilig-to-the-max. haha. okaye, stop it! ok, some statistics. today alone, in the span of 3hours; 2300-0200, 3lovely guy friends o'mine asked about my status, in total of 5days, 4boys and a gal. the most coincidental thing is this 2people, askin that same question within an hour. and the best thing is...

well,heres a coupla pics of piolo. u can find hazwans at my friendster. tahha, like youll even bother!

*bom chicka wah wah*

you miss me ;-)

but i picked the wrong person

i just thought id share what i feel.

its not a tosh, heed it.

hmm, i guess im used to it. tis been more than a decade already. i guess thats why i feel easier this way.

~~
3years, and youre still behaving that way. please dont because youre only hurting yourself. after that talk a couple of years ago, i am still standing by my words. i am showing my gratitude for still standing by me but dont overestimate my actions.

~~
its pretty tough this second time actually. i thought itd be easier, just like before. but i guess because it was more intense, then maybe that explains it. there is only one way. but somehow its more complex. if only i can get it then i may have already been pass that by now. help me help you help me. but how to, when youre being so obstinate. then i guess ill just let time do the job. but bear in your conscience that you are what youve always said you are, all this while and what youd do if this or that happens. now im just looking at it all and thinkin that what youre doin now is none of what youve mentioned. youre proving yourself wrong and youre just being a fraidy-cat. you may be a whole to another, but in whole, youre just showing that lil piece to that another cuz you know you left something behind.
advice: go get it.

wake up!!! do ur thanggg...

*stoning*...

~{girlishness}~
psssssst!!! my hs crush called last night. haha.

~{back to normal}~
what an ass...i miss the days already. sorry but i hope the next time, i'll be able to make it. haha, only deedee met up with faie and mirul, attendance: 3/10. ouh well, still got next time :) hope it'll be 10/10!
glad to have heard from you again though. it's been like, gazillion years already you mofo sheyt! i miss the guys too! wonder how louhan's hair's like now, wakakaka.

~{girlishness}~

aww, i'm pretty happy to hear the voice of the previous CDSS soccer team captain! and most especially, who once haddd something fo...uhh

N-NNE-NEVER MIND! i'm just too overwhelmed; got carried away, teehee.

~{back to normal}~

i feel like goin back to those days where you guys were still wearing "low-shorts", mirul burn'n his leg hair [busok giler siol!] and kelly's too [she got kinda mad] one time and hasbullah rebelling on the teachers; most especially mrs viswa [aka penguin] and and and making mr siow [aka einstein] cry after all the bullies and the throwing of papers at him and just giving him a hellavafuckinhardtime teaching! *pants*

~{girlyly}~
we were so young back then! so cute and all [well, except for mie at least *humble* =p]
*sigh* memories...how i wish i can relive them, and maybe ditch vans for him.

~{back to normal}~
haha. kiddin'...
PS FIDADOTDOTDOT...FYI, HE'S NOT MY "ALL-TIME CRUSH", JUST "THE HS CRUSH" :)

fuck sheyt. i racked out last night at 2am and mom woke me up at 6 to see her off and then jumped back in to dream more dreams but but couldn't get back to lala land...lerrrr...so i got up and've been on the screen since then. 'i want candy' is a great flick. dunno why i actually have to go out and squander my bread when i can just sit my tush and watch 'erre. ouh yea, it's "the friends". i forgot, hehe. quality time with friends is important. lalala. whatevurr. just kidd'n. okaye lah.

~{girlylyly}~
movie postponed to monday cuz of my fucking zits. *sigh* hope it's gone by then.
aww, i know my skin is never that flawless anyway. but still, zits just makes it all even worse! it's already bad, enya still wanna make it worse! *sheesh* pick someone pretty will ya?! we ugly gals dun deserve extra sheyt to just give us more hard time on looking neutrally well! *ughhh*

~{back to normal}~
fuck! i feel i've been experiencing famine this week. e'rrbody's busy, no food to scoff, lazy to walk all the fucking way to greenridge to buy food, no sheyt, no dosh, no FUN larr!!! *ugggghh* i've literally no one to depend on! folks come home late, so i can't bug em to buy me sheyt, arch camp [duh], friends...well, i live too damn far for them to even drop by, say hi, [and if so happens, fortunately] with some food on their hands! *sigh* but too bad.

plus plus, dad called at 730+ to inform that there was a quake. city area felt the tremors and north side too i guess? well, it's either bukit panjang actually also felt it or was i just "feelingless"...aww shux! wasted! i missed it. i haven't experienced such sheyt!

*sheesh* this week's been a disaster already! well, maybe except for a few events. but really, the worst disaster i guess is famine [lol, what a bad word to use]. okaye! owwwtta herre.

you're too nice doode

~~

glad to be break-ing now *phew*
finally, quality time for hobbies and interests...

~~
unexpectedly finished :(
Halo3 to lend me? anyone?


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kinda pratajoyed pratasfied. thanks kid.